


But This Does Not Define You

by Skadisdottir



Series: Sum of Our Parts [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Badass Reader, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Violence, reposted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 15:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 69,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14793389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skadisdottir/pseuds/Skadisdottir
Summary: SO this was deleted somehow (sad face) so this is reposted! Please let me know if you need any more tags added!Reader is swept up in a spur of the moment romance with the esteemed General of the First Order despite her own musings about being "plain". Her journey transcends into one of adventure, love, betrayal, and utter lack of communication skills. What will she do when she is pulled two directions, toward the light, and with the dark.





	1. Chapter 1

The alert sounded on the command shuttle only moments after the ramp had closed and its occupants had taken their seats. 

“I’ll see what it is sir.” Lieutenant Mikitka said before standing and making his way up to the cockpit. 

You, on the other-hand, sat with a small smirk on your face and a small laugh, no more than an exhalation of breath, leaving your frame at the obvious chaos this small set back had created. _So caught up in their own schedules._ You mused to yourself, shaking your head and returning to the data pad in your hands. This mission was mostly to allow those with family on the planet to celebrate a religious holiday imperative to the inhabitants. And since it was only once every decade, the First Order allowed a substantial amount of time off for those from the small village that celebrated.You were one of the few, and one of the only ones to actually accept the offer to return to your home planet to partake. 

The command shuttle had landed at one of the villages, letting off the remaining officers left until the only ones left on the shuttle itself was yourself, the assistant, and the general. The last of whom, snapped his eyes to your angrily. “Something funny, Lieutenant (L/n)?” He snapped, causing your eyes to snap up to his nervously. 

“N-No sir...” You trailed off then smiled slightly. “I think I know what happened sir.” He gave a look that encouraged you to continue. “Well, you see, it’s a game to the children on these parts. They stick anything and everything into snow, then throw it at ships. One of them must have thrown something large enough that it was pulled into the intake valve, and the ship is overcompensating.” You replied easily. 

“You speak as if from experience.” He retorted, his eyes almost imperceptibly rolling as he looked back to his own data pad. You watched him a moment longer before your eyes were drawn to Lieutenant Mitaka, as he climbed from the command deck and into the seating area. 

“Sir, it seems that something has overheated the intake’s sensor, the ship is refusing to take off without the correction, but with the coming weather, the only technician in the area is refusing to come until the storm passes.” General Hux’s eyes slid to yours and you innocently flicked through a report of the recent Tie-Fighter delivery, of which you were the head consultant. 

The General returned his eyes to Mitika long enough to nod to him. “Arrange for lodging for the night for the crew-” 

You clearing your throat caused him to pause and if you were cold in the shuttle, his eyes would have warmed you instantly what with the fire they were carrying. “General Hux Sir, all due respect-” He snorted at the word but didn’t interrupt you. “You won’t find enough lodging for all of you, not in this village at least. I can send for my father if you would like. It will take about an hour for him to arrive, but we could find place for you all.” 

The general seemed to consider the offer, but Mitika was first to shoot it down. “Officers and the _General_ of the First Order will not sleep in a _Barn_.” He sneered, looking to the general for support, but simply was met with the bored expression of his superior, and the the back of his head as he turned to face you. 

“Lieutenant Mitika is correct. The _General_ of the First Order should not be sleeping in a Barn. But I think it would do the officers some good.” He turned to Mitika at this. “Teach them some humility.” The last word had the young officer turning red and dismissing himself with a quiet _Of course General_ before retreating to the command deck. “Send for your father, (L/n).” You did so with a nod. 

 

______

 

An Hour later the cry of a fathier caused you to jump up from your seat and open the side port of the Command shuttle, your father waved from the homemade sled and you returned it before returning to the warmth of the shuttle. General Hux had seen you rise and in response began dressing for the growing cold. “Sir, my father-” 

“I had deduced as much.” He finished, pulling on his greatcoat, and fastening his cap to his head. “Lieutenant Mitika, inform those nonessential to the functionality or safety of the shuttle to make their way to the sled provided by Mr.(L/n).” Mitika nodded before turning away to do just that. “After you, Lieutenant (L/n).” He motioned you forward and you took a tentative step forward, retrieving your coat, though you didn’t bother to put it on, the cold not biting at you as it would others not prepared for the weather.

“(Y/n)!” Your father called and you smiled widely, rushing to him and hugging him tightly before extending the greeting of the season. You moved away as the officers began to pile into the back of the sled. You soon realized that there would be very little room to fit the remaining two of the personnel. “Don’t worry, I made sure to bring a second.” He motioned to the smaller sled pulled by the young fathier that was a few paces behind, not needing a lead as he followed the older one before him. “You can thank your mother for that.” He said with a slight half hearted growl. You smiled at the obvious love he held for the woman he spoke about.

“I wish to thank you on behalf of the First Order for your kind generosity, the Supreme Leader extends his thanks.” General Hux’s voice from behind you caused you to jump. You turned to your superior saluting quickly. He dismissed it with a look and you dropped your hand self consciously. 

“Who?” Your father asks, his face scrunching in confusion. You felt your blood run cold and watched as General Hux’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. To avoid anymore awkwardness, you quickly snapped the back of the fathier to cause it to move, your father’s attention now taken up by the sudden movement of his steed. 

As he moved away, the second sled came up to you, and you grabbed the lead to pause the motion of the creature. “Forgive my father sir, this area of the planet rarely receives much information about the goings on of the rest of the galaxy.”

“And yet here you are, an officer of the First Order, and your family does not seem to know the name of the man for which you serve.” General Hux retorted with barely contained distaste. He climbed into the sled as you stood there, face burning from his comment. _I’d like to keep it that way._ You thought quietly, your hand stroking the face of the fathier as it bumped its snout against you. You then climbed into the sled and snapped the reins to get the creature moving. After that you dropped them to warm your hands, the creature following an unseen path back to its home. 

You sorted through your bag that had been hanging off of your shoulder, now sitting on the seat beside you between yourself and the general, before pulling out your data pad. You began looking over the reports on a training mission before you saw a gloved finger tap the top of the pad. You looked up nervously to see the general looking down at you almost in a scolding manner. “Yes sir?” you answered his silent acknowledgement and he powered down your data pad, taking it from your hands and stowing it in his own jacket. 

You stared in awe at the place he stowed it before your eyes met his. “This is a religious holiday for you, is it not?” You replied with a quiet _Yes General._ “First Order regulations forbids required work over a religious holiday.”

“But Sir, it’s not required technicall-” You trailed off at his warning glance. “Yes, Sir.” You relented. Turning back in your seat and looking over the treeline to the encroaching hillside, the ground starting to dot with candles as the inhabitants of the town began to light the festival lights. A large Pyre was built in the town square as well, and you could see the starting wisps of smoke as it was lit despite the coming weather. 

“So as not to sound completely ignorant to the customs of your people, tell me what this celebration is for.” The General’s voice caused you to turn back to him and consider him carefully. 

“Well, General. It started well before my great-great- grandparents were born.” You looked over the town again before continuing. “There was a horrible territory battle, between the surrounding six villages. A sacred site was destroyed by one of the villages, which village is unimportant now,” You waved off what was obviously a long story before looking to the general as he listened intently. “and there was a bloody bloody war. Many were killed.” The general curled his lip up in a sneer. 

“And you celebrate this?” He asked disgusted. 

“No Sir, we celebrate how it ended.” You supplied and he raised a ginger brow. “There was an elder, some say he was as old as the mountains he lived in, others say that he was a stranger from a fall off land, and some say that he was not there at all, but an apparition come from an old temple in the woods. Whatever he might have been. He walked into the battle and not a scratch on him, emerged the other side, and drew a circle around the sacred site. Then he touched the site” You paused, trying to remember the story correctly. “I believe it was a tree.” You shook your head. 

“Whatever the case, it was reformed and the fighting stopped. All on the battlefield stopped and dropped to their knees as the site was reborn.” You looked to the general and he nodded seeming to understand slightly. You continued nonetheless, appreciative that he wasn’t dismissing this, as many tended to do. “Here is where each village has its own story. Ours is that the man then went to the village, lit a fire in the centre from nothing but his own hand and it stayed lit all through the winter, no matter the storm, no matter if it was fed, it continued through and saved the village from freezing. When spring came, the figure returned, and the fire was put out. We light one each year to keep out the cold, but once a decade, we gather and give thanks to the figure. It’s a night of gifts being exchanged, families gather from all over the galaxy, and this is mostly when children are given their namesake.” You finished, rubbing your hands to keep them warm. The general contemplated then nodded. 

“Their namesake, as in?” He trailed off, allowing you to fill in the blank of his question. 

“A trait, sir. Something that those around you have noticed about you that can influence your destiny. So, someone given ‘Strong’ will be a warrior, ‘Intelligent’ will be a teacher.” He again nodded. Satisfied that he was given the information he wanted you returned back to your staring as you crossed a frozen lake, marking that you were almost to your childhood home. You took a steadying breath, wishing desperately for the datapad to occupy your hands. 

As the barn came into view, you picked up the reins again and pulled them to stop the large creature, the other sled already having been rid of its riders, you pulled up next to it before disembarking. “Lieutenant.” You turned to acknowledge your general. “What traits were you given?” He asked curiously. You felt your blood run cold, and it wasn’t just from the wind as it picked up it’s speed. 

“Sir, if its all the same to you, I would rather not divulge that information.” You said quietly, looking away from him as you started to unlatch the sled from the fathier. If General Hux was going to demand the information from you, your mother yelling excitedly and rushing up to you was enough to give him pause. You, on the other-hand, were thankful for the distraction.   
“My Little Soldier! Look at you! All professional! I bet you just hate being back here, what with it all dirty and the like. Oh you!” She pulled you in for a tight hug and you laughed nervously, your mind nearly dying at the thought that your general was witnessing this exchange. “You finish up getting the faithers put away, then when you can, make sure you feed and water them. They’ve been out all day.” She patted you on the head before turning on her heel and walking away. “Don’t forget to dry them off! They’ll freeze!” She called over her shoulder.

“Good to see you too ma.” You retorted, turning, you had to take a step back to avoid colliding with Hux. He looked down at you expectantly and you moved around him to take the leads of now free creatures. General Hux followed you, forcing one of the leather straps from your hand when you didn’t readily give it to him. “Sir, you don’t have to-” 

“Silence. If it can easily be done with one, it can be done more efficiently with two.” You couldn’t argue, both with his logic, and simply because he wasn’t going to give you the chance to. You lead the way into the stable, directing the larger of the two animals to it’s stall, pulling off the lead and walking from the door without locking it. Hux copied your movements and you handed him a towel. 

“A-Are you sure? I wouldn’t want Altheeya here to get your uniform dirty, sir.” He simply glared at you before pulling off his greatcoat and uniform jacket before hanging them on the hooks beside the stall door. You did the same, hanging your cap up as well after Ch’nna the larger male fathier began lipping at it playfully. 

The two of you spent the next half of an hour cleaning off of Altheeya and Ch’nna, before feeding, watering and then blanketing them both. Nary a word was spoken other than your general asking questions about where to find the material needed to complete the tasks. You answered him easily and he followed your orders just as so. He was right of course, had you done this alone, the work would have taken double the time, if not more.

As he shrugged back on his uniform, a small sweat had broken out on his forehead, but if he minded he didn’t complain. “I want to thank you General Hux sir, for helping me I mean.” You said after a moment of painful deliberation. 

“Nonsense, you have opened your home to your comrades, and myself, and without your generosity we would be all trying to find a place to sleep for the night aboard the shuttle. If was the least I could do to help.” You nodded in understanding, starting to put your own uniform back on. “What is unacceptable,” your heart stopped and you froze, looking up to him with wide eyes. He looked at you passively. “Is that you were expected to complete these tasks on your own, when there seemed to be multiple within the home that have not just returned from military service.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when his anger was not directed at you. 

“It’s alright sir, I’d much rather be out here than in there.” You replied honestly, pulling on your coat and snatching your hat from Ch’nna as he tried to pull it from the hook again. You pat the creature once before walking to the main doors. 

“If this holiday causes you such duress, then why attend?” He asked, no malice or judgement, just genuine curiosity. You stopped mid-stride and turned back to see that he had not moved from his spot. He considered you from his place, hands clasped behind him.

You looked to the floor and then back up at him with an honest lift of your shoulders. “I-I don’t know sir. Obligation?” You supplied when he didn’t seem to like the answer you gave. He seemed to think on this answer before he walked beside you, to your left. You fell into step beside him and made your way into the house.

As you entered the room, a voice from one of your uniformed comrades called the room to attention and you watched in slightly satisfied horror as the First Order officers stood to attention, causing the rest of the room to fall silent and turn to stare at yourself and your companion. General Hux waited a moment longer, seeming to pick up on your smirk you tried desperately to hide, allowing you to soak in the stunned look of the gathered crowd before he spoke. “At ease, there will be no need of that for the duration of our stay. This is a family holiday, we will not ruin it with formalities.” The entire room seemed to take a collective sigh of breath as the conversation returned in full force. 

You took the General’s coat from him, despite his protests and hung it on the wall carefully, folding his gloves in his hat you placed that on the shelf above it. You then moved easily around the crowded room to find a drink to offer those gathered around you. 

The General watched you as you moved around the room, ever tuned into the surrounding chatter. One conversation caught his attention as he stood, observing the room. 

“He’s so cold looking, I doubt it.” One woman spoke. Hux didn’t turn his head, but instead listened in on the conversation. 

“I wouldn’t say cold, but handsome definitely.” Another responded. Hux barely contained the urge to roll his eyes. He was used to this kind of talk. Nonsensical Drivel, was more of what it was. 

“Exactly. That’s why I’m saying they aren’t together.” A third woman answered. Now Hux was interested, he fought the urge to turn and ask them just who they were speaking about but understood immediately as you walked back to him, offering him a drink of something. 

“I’m sorry sir, I looked for my father’s brandy, but he must have hidden it. I hope that this is acceptable.” He nodded before you were pulled away from him by a family member and brought to say hello to someone else.   
The women behind Hux Tsked. “See, now I know why they gave her ‘Plain’ as her first Trait. Nothing substantially beautiful about her. I bet she’s more of a plaything than anything.” Hux bristled both at the insinuation and the derogatory things they were saying. To say it about any person was one thing, but about his officers was unacceptable. 

“I was right. She will never marry.” The second woman tutted, the sound of a glass full of ice sloshing in her hand. 

“I bet her trait this year will be spinster.” The first chided, and all three laughed. At this Hux had had enough. Placing his cup down on the table beside him, causing two of the officers sitting there to jump in surprise their eyes shifting up to watch him. 

Hux strode over to you, pulling you from the conversation you seemed to have been trapped into long enough to place a chaste kiss on your cheek before walking to another room, as if it had been in passing. You stood in shock as he walked away, glancing around the room to see if any others had seen you were almost relieved to see that only a few seemed to react, your three aunts on the opposite corner of the room sat mouths agape. _What the kriffing hell?_ You thought turning after a moment to follow behind the general. When you found him, he was standing watching a gambling game with mild disinterest. 

“S-Sir?” He turned to you to acknowledge your question. “C-Can I speak to you, in private?” You asked cautiously. He nodded once and you led him to the stairs of your home and up onto the second floor. To your right a balcony showed the party below but muffled it enough for you to speak. 

“You wish to know why I kissed you.” He stated as he looked over your pale but blush tinged face. You nodded dumbly and he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Three women were saying ill things about you. I wished to silence their incessant tattering.” You looked at him even more confused. 

“Th-that still doesn’t explain... I mean... I’m used to them speaking about me in such ways.” You looked up to him with wide eyes. “You were defending my honour?” You stated incredulously. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, (L/n). Why would I do something so barbaric.” He dismissed.

“Thank you sir. I don’t think anyone else in that room would have.” this caused him to pause. “No one was really surprised when I announced I would be leaving the village.” You continued. “ But I don’t think anyone was prepared for an academy shuttle to arrive and for stormtroopers to escort myself and a few others onto it.” He nodded in understanding, the site playing in his mind was even jarring to him, thinking of one of the large transports landing in the centre of this tiny village. “But I know I made the right choice. When my mother contacted me to ask if I was coming, I almost said no.” 

“Why didn’t you?” He asked crossing his arms.   
“It was how she said it.” You seethed quietly. “ ‘ Should we expect your place to be empty or will you actually make the effort to come this year’” You quoted quietly hands clenching at your side in anger. Hux’s jaw clenched in anger as well. He was known to be merciless, but never cruel, and this was cruel. 

“I am truly sorry that this event has turned so sour for you.” He replied honestly. 

“It’s not your fault sir.” You quickly replied, but he held up a hand and glared slightly to silence you. He then turned on his heel and proceeded down the stairs. You followed without being ordered to and he crossed back to table where his drink was placed before he picked it up and held it high, the conversation fell silent moments later and you marveled at the control he exerted, even over your family. 

“ I would like to propose a toast, in thanks to Lieutenant (L/n). Her quick thinking alerted us to the problem with my ship, as well as found us lodging for the night. She truly shows the traits of a true First Order Officer.” He lifted the drink again and the other officers echoed your name before taking a drink. The rest of the family was hesitant but complied. If the pressure from the officers accepting the toast wasn’t enough to force a reaction. The deadly glare of your general was. 

The rest of the night passed mostly without incident. A cousin of yours became quite drunk, and in her drunkenness had begun to sit on the lap of one of the other officers, feeling the poor woman up, her face almost at her breaking point. Moments before you stood, your general was already at the young woman’s side, pulling her up and leading her to the door where her husband was rolling his eyes and already holding her coat. He thanked Hux before marching out the door. He was followed by the rest of the family in small increments until it was only yourself, Mitika and the general left. Much like on the shuttle, you busied yourself with work as Hux gave orders to Mitika for the following morning. 

You heard the door shut before Hux’s hands joined you in cleaning the dishes. “Sir, please, I can get this.” You pleaded, watching as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. He sent you a sideways glare and you silenced yourself, moving over to allow him more room. 

You again worked in silence, easily moving around each other and avoiding getting in each other’s way. You glanced over at one point to see the general had slung a drying towel over his shoulder. You giggled at how... domestic... he looked, causing him to turn to face you. “Problem officer?” He asked tiredly. You shook your head quickly. 

“No, General Hux sir.” You whispered, cleaning the last plate, drying it, then putting it away. As you went to place it on the counter, Hux’s hand closed around your wrist and the other came up to your face, wiping a bit of soap from your cheek. You watched him carefully, you heart starting to beat faster in your chest. 

“What was the other trait.” He demanded softly. 

“‘Other’ sir? I haven’t told you either of them.” You asked quietly, your breath hitching as his eyes narrowed. “Which have you heard?” You tried again. 

“Plain” He said quietly. You flinched as he said it, the word sounding so much worse from him for some reason. 

“C-Coward. Sir.” You looked away from him, trying absently to pull away from his grip, but both the one on your face and on your arm tightened. 

When his forehead dipped to touch yours, and then his lips ghosted over yours, your eyes closed. When his lips fully connected with yours, you moved forward to gain balance, but ended up pressing against him, your free hand moving to hesitantly lay against his black uniform undershirt. 

After a moment you pulled away and looked up to him with wide eyes. “You, Lieutenant (L/n), are neither of those things.”


	2. Chapter 2

Morning came blessedly slowly. You were not excited to wake up to the second round of the family gatherings. You had opted to sleep on the pull out couch in the living-room letting the general have your bed. The room was sparing, or at least, it was now. You parents had changed the room over to be a bedroom for guests, all artifacts of your childhood was “stored”, but you knew, it meant that it was thrown out. All that remained was a single box of pictures and important nicknacks, but you deflated when you saw that most of your collected things had been tossed or otherwise given away. 

The General had noticed your disheartened look when you took in the room, and he pressed a hand to your lower back in a silent question. You had deflected, much to his displeasure and wished him good night before hastily retreating to your chosen bed for the night. 

A creek in the stairs had woken you, and you shot awake, the blaster kept beside you armed to Stun and aimed before your eyes had even opened. When they did, however, the general stood before you, hands raised next to his chest, and his eyebrow raised in mild interest. “Were you planning on being attacked in your own home, (L/n)?” He asked, his voice quiet so not to wake the rest of the family. 

With a sigh, you turned on the safety and rubbed at your eyes, throwing the blanket from your legs. “No General Hux, Sir. I suppose I just never really relax.” You had packed a set of clothing to change into, but with the events of the day, you were too tired to fully change, you sat in the black under trousers of the uniform, the legging like material comfortable and warm to sleep in, and the grey short sleeve undershirt of the uniform. You stretched and General Hux’s eyes drifted to the window to see that the dawn was just barely turning the sky grey. 

“I suppose I don’t either.” He mused, his hands clasping behind his back. You noticed that he was also in his uniform, the same from the night before, you noted at his missing option to change his clothes. You inwardly laughed at how uncomfortable that must be for him, yet he still managed to look perfectly composed. 

To keep from staring too long, you stood, shrugging on a light sweater you had folded onto a nearby chair as you made your way to the kitchen to begin breakfast. The General followed a moment after, and you offered him a drink of water, which he accepted before sitting on a chair and the kitchen table. 

Still only half awake, you puttered around the kitchen pulling everything needed for a traditional breakfast. You then moved to a rudimentary machine that was obviously built by your father, and examined its purpose. Smiling when you realized it was a Caff maker, you set it to work letting the smell of caffeine fill the small room.

When the general spoke, you nearly yelped in surprise, having forgotten that the man was sitting behind you. “Do you do this, every morning?” He asked, and you turned, leaning your lower back against the counter. The stance was more relaxed than you probably should have been when being addressed by your superior, but he seemed to have at least attempted to relax into the chair he was sitting in, so you allowed yourself the same luxury. 

“Yes,sir. I’m generally the one responsible for taking care of the family. The Youngest daughter is basically given the responsibility for watching over the parents and the older siblings until there is another younger daughter, or until she is married.” You supplied, turning as you spoke to start making the cake for the breakfast and to start preparing the meat that had been stored in the cooler for the exact purpose. The clock on the wall blinked at you that it was barely 4:30 in the standard morning. The rest of the family wouldn’t start arriving until 7, but the cake would take at least two hours to bake and set, and there was still the breakfast for your family, let alone the legitimate army sleeping in the barn. Shit. You thought, your head dropping as you remembered that you also had to take care of the animals, and from last night, there was barely enough food for both animals for the morning, let alone the day. 

“Something amiss, Lieutenant?” He asked, noticing your distress. You fought the urge to ignore him in favour of not looking overwhelmed, but you turned, brushing the hair from your face that had fallen from your regulation bun. 

“If I am honest with you, general, I want to say no, that I have this under control,” You paused as he sat up straighter, arms folding on his chest at the admission that you would try to deceive him. “But I don’t, the storm must have delayed my father going to the grain store to get feed, and then what with the party and my asking for his help, he must have forgotten.” The general looked like he was about to interject, but you continued in a rush of anger filled rant. “Which means not only do I need to make sure that the food is prepared for breakfast for the family, and the rest of the personnel, but I also have to make sure that food is ready for this morning because obviously my mother was busy and didn’t start yesterday. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but I have a feeling that they are going to be watching me even more this year because this is my first festival as an adult-” You hadn’t noticed that the general had stood and was now holding your wrists in either of his hands, then again, you hadn’t noticed that your hands had been waving around as much as they were. 

“Enough.” He growled out, his voice just above his speaking voice, but it was enough to silence you. You flushed in embarrassment at your outburst, and the general released your wrists. “You have, Lieutenant Mitika, the other officers and myself, all here at your disposal to assist you.” You opened your mouth to object but a look from the general had you closing it again. “You are an officer, are you not?” He asked, and you nodded, a quiet yes sir, leaving you. “And you were trained to delegate tasks and command a situation, correct?” You again nodded, responding the same. “Then show me that your training was not wasted.” He said, stepping back from you and motioning you to the door that lead to the outside, and the barn. 

You pulled on your boots, squaring your shoulders almost unconsciously as you marched out to the barn, your general following a few paces behind you. You rolled open the door, the sound causing the faces of the officers that were awake to turn, and for those who were not awake, it was a rude awakening. When the general came into view behind you, they all leapt to their feet, standing at rest. 

“Good Morning,” you called into the dark, as you flicked on the light. A collective response from the officers encouraged you to continue. “I am in need of your assistance this morning. I have three sets of tasks for all of you. One: I need two of you to go to the grain store and pick up feed for the fathiers, it will be heavy and I don’t think that you will be able to get through the snow that has piled on the road with a wagon. Two: I need one of you to go to the market, I have a list of things I need, and I have the credits that you will require. Third, I need help with interior prep work. There are six of you, so this should not be a problem.” The gathered group turned from you in surprise to glance at the general. 

The general simply raised his eyebrows and then narrowed his eyes when they didn’t instantly begin to move. “You were given a set of orders, were you not?” He roared, his voice filling the large barn almost oppressively, and the group -yourself included- jumped. 

“Yes, General!” They called, all snapping to attention. 

“Then get your sorry asses in gear, and move!” He roared, and the group scrambled, falling in line before you as you handed the first two a set of credits and a paper with the name of the required feed. You then handed the next a list of items, and then more credits. The last three stood before you at parade rest as you gave them orders of what they needed to clean and organize, as well as what food they were allowed to prepare, but you left the cake for yourself. 

You turned, instantly feeling the weight of the morning lift and you let out a sigh of relief. You nearly ran into the General as he stood looking at you curiously. “Thank you sir, I don’t think I could have finished everything in time without their assistance.”

“What are my orders, Lieutenant (L/n)?” He asked, a small smirk forming on his face as he watched your twist in a mix of confusion and horror. There were others in the group of officers that outranked you, if not necessarily in name but in seniority, but this was a whole other area of Chain of Command. In order ease your tension, he let the smirk drop and returned serious. “Lieutenant. I may be your general. But this is your war.” He said his head angling to your home. You nodded in understanding and took a breath. 

“General, you will be assisting myself in the production of the traditional festival cake.” He nodded once and you motioned him to follow you outside of the barn and around the side of the building towards a greenhouse. 

As you opened the first door to the greenhouse, you shrugged off your jacket and hung it on a peg in the wall, the humidity and heat coming from the greenhouse was already starting to make you sweat in the heavy coat. Hux copied your movement, before following you into the main part of the building. The greenhouse towered over your head, standing nearly 10 feet tall, the roof broke and angled at a dodecahedron type pattern, a heat light and sprinklers at the vertex. The base of the building spread out at around a 10 foot diameter. A door on the opposite side of the building allowed for more plants to grow, but currently it was unfinished. You moved easily around the tables lining the wall and the circular one in the centre to reach what you wanted. The general observed the plants, running his hand over the ones he knew, and leafing through the books left on the table for the ones he didn’t. Each had been carefully bookmarked by yourself and you glanced over your shoulder as he called your name. 

“Many of these plants are not native to this planet.” He noted and you nodded, returning to the plant before you, picking the sweet berries from it and placing them in a basket beside you. 

“My father was always interested in building, and I have been interested in horticulture, on my 16th birthday, he built me this greenhouse. He then took me to a market on the other side of the mountains in order to buy seeds. I had maybe four plants, and an uncle of mine sent me more, and before long” you indicated to the plants that currently grew around you. “I programed an irrigation system that connects to a datapad, it alerts me to the current state of the plants, and I can remove or add water to the planters, or control the heat to reflect the overall environment.” You motioned to the other side of the green house. 

“Before I joined the academy, my father had started building that side, to allow for the plants that require more harsh climates to thrive.” She motioned to a smaller, but still healthy plant. “That poor thing grows in the volcanic caves of Hoth. Used to heat, but thrives more in a temperate environment with flashes of heat and cold.” Then to another. “That one grows in the Parnassos deserts.” You moved and stroked the little plant gently. You noticed it was more dry than it should be and reached for a little glass of water and dropped a few ounces into the sand that it was planted in. 

All the while, the general watched you with interest. It didn’t surprise him that you were intelligent enough to design an entire program around the wellbeing of plants, you were a technician after all, but what did surprise him is that despite all the work you had to do on a daily basis, you had the time to carefully monitor and teach yourself about these plants. Suddenly, the few little plants he saw popping up around the engine room made sense. The passion that you spoke with reminded him of himself and the passion he held for Order and the Galaxy. This was on a smaller level, but it was a part of you all the same. You blushed when you looked up to see him watching you, you cleared your throat and moved back to the previous plant, continuing to pick the purple berries from the bush, counting as you did. 

“It’s impressive.” He said reverently, walking to stand beside you. You nodded, and cleared your throat to acknowledge him. 

“I need fifteen, of those.” You said, desperate to get a little bit of distance between you. The attention that the general was paying you was nice, and no one would fault you, but you didn’t know exactly where you stood. The kiss, the way he spoke to you, it was... nice, but strange. You and the general had had very little contact over the past three years you had been in the order as an officer. Once, when you had been introduced upon being assigned to the Finalizer, and in passing during your daily duties. There had been times when you had not actually interacted with the general, but simply caught sight of his flaming hair in the docking bay through your pilot’s helmet. 

Regardless, you couldn’t believe that he was paying you any attention at all. _perhaps he had too much to drink last night, and it was all just an honest mistake_ . You mused to yourself, glancing at him as he moved and turned his back to you, carefully selecting the best berries and placing them in the basket next to your foraging. You stared a moment too long before the General turned and caught your eye, as if he could feel you staring. You quickly looked away, a flush crawling up the base of your neck, tinting the skin a deep red. 

You hear the general shift and suddenly you were facing him, your back pressing into the wooden table behind you to avoid too much contact with his body. Hux’s hands landed on your hips to steady you, but if anything it sent you even more off balance. His hands slipped behind you to rest along the table, essentially trapping you against his body and the plants. Your wide eyes stared up at him as you pulled your hands into your chest, hands hovering an inch off of his chest, still too afraid to touch him. 

“Is there a reason you keep staring at me, Lieutenant?” He asked, his voice slightly more than a whisper, but with a hauntingly dark undertone. 

“I-I’m not staring, General Hu-ux Sir.” You quickly blurted out, your offending eyes darting away from him and to the floor. 

“Eyes up, Lieutenant.” He ordered quietly, and you obeyed watching him warily. “I can feel you, every time you think I am not watching, you stare just a moment too long.” He grinned at the rising blush confirming his observation. 

“I-I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t think-” You stuttered out a flustered reply, your body pressing farther against the bench as he leant forward a fraction of an inch more. 

“You would get caught?” He interrupted. “No I don’t suppose you did.” Hux again closed the difference between the two of you, his lips catching yours and silencing the startled gasp at his sudden movement. At that moment, your hands connected with his chest, and fisted into his shirt gently. 

Hux moved closer, a hand leaving the bench and returning to your hip, his fingers digging into the soft flesh there. You grunted at the sensation, causing him to smirk against your lips, and step closer to you, pressing his lower body against you. You pulled away for air, gasping slightly as your eyes connected once again with the green/blue ones of your general.  
“Sir, I..” He broke away, his lips again finding your skin and trailing along your cheek and down to your neck, the hand not already touching you coming to rest on your lower back. Instinctually you turned your head to the side in order to allow him more room, but attempted to finish your sentence regardless. “I... I don’t know wh-” you were cut off by a nip on a sensitive part of your neck, your knees nearly going weak. “Sir this is... highly against regulations.”

Your sentence ended in a yelp as Hux’s hand on your hip trailed down your leg and hoisted it up, hooking it around his hip, and pressing your core against his. You felt the telltale feeling of a half hard member against your thigh and bit your lip anxiously. The general continued to lave his tongue over the spot he had nipped, drawing yet another whimper from your kiss swollen lips. “Sir, we-we could get in a lot of trouble.” You finally panted out, not really wanting him to stop. 

Hux laughed at your words, his head coming back up his eyes meeting yours. “Are you really telling _me_ the regulations of my own army?” He taunted and you paled, a lip being drawn in between your teeth. His eyes were instantly drawn to the motion, and acting on whatever impulse he had, he dipped his head and pressed his lips against you, before taking the very same lip between his teeth and pulling back, letting you tense in apprehension. He then let go of it, letting it snap back into place. 

You felt your legs clench at the sight and Hux smirked, his grip on your leg tightening just the smallest amount. The hand on your back moved toward the front, pressing against your lower abdomen before trailing up and under your light shirt. Just as his cold fingertips brushed against your overheated skin, causing you to buck up into him the communicator on his arm beeped three times. Hux sighed before answering. 

“General Hux.” He said, his voice not betraying the disheveled state of yourself, or the fact that his hand was halfway up your shirt. The hand had left your leg, causing it to slowly drop to the floor. You shifted in his grasp, but he was not willing to remove it from your skin just yet.

A frantic voice on the other side of the communicator had him staring at you with a determination that had a whole other part of you clenching. “General! The command shuttle has been attacked! The Pilots have been killed by blaster fire, the other remaining crew are not responding!” The voice of Major Hollinger crackled through the device and you stiffened at the implications. 

“Resistance?” You asked quietly, and he simply turned back to his communicator. 

“Have you killed the assailant?” He asked, his voice clear and commanding despite the situation. 

_” Yes, General. But he wasn’t working alone. Another was seen running eastbound, toward the village of Lieutenant (L/n)._ ” You felt your blood run cold and almost in sync, yourself and the general moved away from each other and made for the door, pulling on your coats as you ran back into the house. The three officers you had sent in to clean the house were currently sharing a cup of caff as they stood around, the kitchen and living area in much better shape than it was the night before. You would have had the time to thank them but instead you ran for your blaster as the General filled them in on the situation, and ordered them to remain with your parents and family in the house. 

Hux then strode past you toward the door and pulled it open, calling over his shoulder as he did. “(L/n) With me.” He had a blaster out already, and you assumed that he had it stowed away in his greatcoat. Falling in step beside him, you made sure your blaster was set to kill, your heart hammering in your ears. 

You had been in a battle once before, a rogue officer was less than pleased with his dishonourable discharge, had begun firing at those around him. It was only your first month on the _Finalizer_ , and it was your first time watching the Force at work. The man had either the bad luck, or poor planning to begin firing when Commander Ren was nearby. You and your fellow officers had dove to avoid the blasts and returned fire, but by the time you were in any real danger, the Force User had snapped the man’s neck and thrown his body from the hangar door. That was one of the first times you had seen Hux’s wrath as well. He had called a formation almost instantly after to condemn the actions of the officer and to warn you of the consequences should any of you decide to do the same. The Jedi Knight looming behind him in warning. 

But this was not some officer acting alone, and he wasn’t outnumbered 500 to one. This was, as far as you knew, innumerable resistance terrorists against yourself and general Hux. The latter of Whom you just now realized was speaking to you. “Did you hear me, (L/n)?” He demanded as he ran ahead of you. Ashamed you responded in the negative, and he growled before repeating his last statement. “I asked you where the trail from the woods opened on the main square. If they are going to attack civilians to draw us out, that’s where they will go.” 

You thought on it for a moment and stopped in your tracks. Spinning on your heels as you looked back toward your home. General Hux stopped abruptly, looking back at you, calling your name angrily as he saw you stop. Your eyes scanned the tree line and then widened as you saw a figure running through them. You let off a blaster bolt in his direction, and let out a breath as you saw him fall. 

General Hux’s eyes followed the bolt, and the both of you ran to the figure, meeting just as the man’s chest began to darken with blood, the snow below him turning a deep red. The man was definitely resistance, but you looked at him confused, how the hell did they find you? How did they know where you were? You and the general seemed to be on the same page as he asked these questions almost as fast as you could think them. 

“I will never...tell you... anything... you, murdering shit!” The man choked out, blood seeping from the corner of his mouth as he coughed. Your boot moved before you realized it, and landed, heel first on the blaster shot, pressing into the wound and drawing a strangled cry from the man at your feet. 

“The General of the First Order asked you a question, you _will_ show him respect.” You ground out, your anger doubling as you realized that this scum was only yards from your home, your family.

General Hux looked at you in pleased surprise before squatting down to hover menacingly over the man. “I will ask you again, and I suggest you answer me, considering that my lieutenant here, well, you see, this is her village; and she has very little patience for those whom would put it in danger.” You wanted to stare at your general in surprise, but held face, glaring down at the man and adding more pressure to his wound for emphasis. To outsiders, it looked like cruel punishment, but the added pressure was actually holding in the wound, keeping the man alive a little while longer. “How did you find us.” The tone with which he spoke was level, but considering the position that the man was currently in, it was the sound of death speaking. 

The man under your foot stuttered out a response, his voice a pained groan. “Some guy! Fuck! Said that a buddy of his saw some soldiers running around town.” You narrowed your eyes at him, turning to look at the general. 

“He’s lying sir.” You ground out. General Hux nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, I suppose he his. Lieutenant?” He said, and you pulled out your blaster, powering it up and pointing it at the man’s head. 

“Wait!” He said his hands coming up to shield himself. _Fat load of good that would do_ you mused bitterly. “Name’s Diante, he sent a message to General Organa. Told her that he saw the command shuttle land in the next village over, and that the General and seven of his officers were staying at his aunt’s house. He said that if we got here before sunrise, he’d get us in the house to kill you.” The General stiffened and you felt your blood boil. 

One of your own family had sold you out to the resistance. You don’t know what burned you more, the betrayal in general, or that your blood was a resistance sympathiser. Sensing your internal conflict, the general stood and folded his hands behind his back. “Thank you for your cooperation.” He state simply, before nodding to you. You more than happily pulled the trigger. 

Breathing heavily, you returned the weapon to your side but kept it live, not wanting to risk the safety jamming on it. “Are you alright Lieutenant (L/n)?” Hux asked carefully, noticing your clenched jaw and shaking fists. 

“Let’s just go kill my son of a bitch cousin.” You fumed, removing your foot from the corpse before you and wiping it off in the snow. Without a word, the general followed behind you. 

As you returned to the house, you saw lights were on, meaning that your parents, and your cousin, were awake. When your cousin had asked to stay the night, feigning a drunken sickness, your parents had been more than willing to offer up your older brother’s bedroom. Said brother was away doing business on the other side of the planet, and was going to be joining you later that evening. It had struck you odd that he had asked to stay, instead of perhaps leaving with another family member, but you had other things to worry about than your paternal cousin’s motives. You chalked your slight distrust up to paranoia and just brushed it off, now you wished you had questioned him closer. 

General Hux entered your home first, and you followed after, schooling your features to make it look like you hadn’t just killed a man. The officers from town had returned and from the gravely serious looks on their faces, had been informed of the situation. They all snapped to attention, and salute the general before returning to ease at his command. “The resistance situation has been dealt with. There were only two, but I am sure that they will have support on the way.” The gathered group nodded and began moving around the room to collect their belongings, sensing that that meant that they were about to move. The general allowed this to happen and stood next to you as your eyes slid over your family and landed on your cousin. 

You could feel your hand hovering over your blaster, and sensing the tension, your cousin locked eyes with you, then the general, before leaping from his chair and rushing out the door. “Stay here with your parents. I’ll take care of him.” The general yelled as he followed behind him considering he was closer to the door. Two of the other officers ran out after him as assistance. You unholstered your weapon and aimed it at the floor, your eyes burning with unshed tears. 

“(Y/n), put that away. You’re going to hurt somebody with that horrible thing!” Your mother scolded, moving to get up from her seat, but you lifted the weapon aiming it at her. 

“Did you know?” You growled, voice cracking against your will as you tried to keep your composure. Your parents looked between themselves and then back at you, but did not answer. You powered up the weapon, the sound causing them to jump. “Did. You. Know?!” The last word came out as almost a scream. The remaining officers stood silently over to the side, having stopped in their preparations to watch the scene unfold. Many of them had only known you for a short time, and none of them really gave you the time of day as a new officer. This, was something they were more than a little curious to watch play out. 

Your mother cleared her throat uncomfortably and your father began nodding slowly. “Diante began talking about his support for the resistance about a year ago. Said that he had met a few of the soldiers on one of his visits to the bars in the city. Was talking about joining them. We told him the you were in the Order, and he said he knew. But we didn’t think he would go this far. We didn’t think he would try to kill you.” Your father supplied, trying to calm your shaking hands. 

“And what side are you on?” You ground out. This caused the officers in your kitchen to shuffle, their own hands drifting to their blasters. Your father shook his head and sat back further on the couch, his answer clear.

“Then by order of the supreme leader, I place you under arrest, your fate will be decided by the highest ranking officer in this unit, which currently is General Armitage Hux. Your support of the resistance is against galactic law of the planets under First Order rule. You have the right to remain silent, but know that using this right can lead to your execution.” Your voice shook as you read the rights, and the remaining four officers moved into place to bring your parents to their feet and place their hands on their heads. The group moved out of the house, blasters aimed at your parents, and you followed after taking a moment to breathe and holster your weapon.

You fought back the tears on your face, wiping at the ones that escaped and then marched out into the snow, watching as your parents were put to their knees in the snow, hands on their heads. Beside them your cousin, obviously having been stunned, then beaten was barely holding himself up as he was lowered to the snow by Mitika. General Hux stood to the side, watching with mild disinterest, but when his eyes flicked to your parents, and then to your face, he showed slight worry. 

“General Hux, Mr. And Mrs. (L/n) and one Diante (L/n) are accused of treason, they support the resistance and therefore are breaking galactic law of the First Order.” Your voice stayed steady as you spoke, but you could tell you were about to break. “As the highest ranking member of this unit, their fate is up to your decision, sir.” You voice began to break as you saluted, and you were thankful that you didn’t have to speak more. 

Hux watched you for a moment longer before stepping toward Diante, hands clasped behind his back. “Diante (L/n), you stand accused, how do you plea?” The general state clearly, his voice loud as even the arboreal animals held their breath. Diante didn’t respond, instead, he spit at Hux’s boot, the substance more blood than anything. “Guilty then.” Hux supplied. “In that case, I sentence you to death. Lieutenant (L/n).” 

You startled at him calling your name, but marched to his side, unholstering your blaster and aiming it at your cousin. “I hope you burn, you Imperial whore.” He spat at you. Hux didn’t have to give the order to fire.

Hux then walked to your parents and repeated his past question. Your father was first and he dropped his hands to Hux’s boots. You flinched at his display of weakness, but also sighed in relief that he was at least smart enough to beg for his life. “Please, Sir. We did not mean to support either side. We are thankful for the First Order and it’s protection of our people, and it’s treatment of our daughter. Please, spare my wife and I.” Hux turned to look at you, and your nearly started to break again, but held your ground. 

Hux considered your father for a moment longer before stepping before your mother. “And what say you? What do you say to defend yourself?” Your mother simply shook her head, dropping to the ground as well. After letting the silence hang in the air, Hux stepped back, pulling out his own blaster. He shot twice. 

Your parents lifted their heads at the noise, staring in awe at the two spots of charred ground and melted snow that was inches from their noses. “Let this be a reminder to you the mercy of the First Order. You will do well to remember this next time your family betrays us. You live today in due part to your hospitality, and for the sake of your own daughter. I suggest you thank her, as well.” You stared in awe at Hux, as did the officers around you. Hux was not a merciful man. 

As he began to walk away, the other officers filed behind him, leaving you still standing in shock before the corpse of Diante. Hux moved about a hundred yards away before calling back to you. “Lieutenant, are you coming?” He asked, an actual question, not an order. Regardless, you began walking toward him. As you did, your mother stood and turned, your father staring at her in horror. 

“If you take another step, don’t you even _dare_ think of returning to this house.” You stopped, Hux’s eyes shifting to your mother’s and then narrowing. You turned back to your mother, taking three long strides to return to her before lifting your hand as if to strike her. She flinched away, raising her hand to protect herself. 

You scoffed before turning on your heel and continuing back toward Hux, the other officers having continued on their way back to the command shuttle, trudging through the freshly fallen snow. You heard your mother take a shuddering breath, and then the silence of the woods was broken by her violent cry. “You murderer! You monster! I hope you know each night as you sleep that you are a killer, and that that is all you will _ever_ be!” You held your ground, continuing to walk until you were passed General Hux. Only then did you let the tears finally fall.


	3. Chapter 3

The walk back through the woods took longer than it had on the ride the night before, and you could tell that the group of officers were frozen through. The snow that had fallen through the night was nearly up to your knees, and it was wet along with packed, it was hell to walk through. You could hear the group ahead of you trying to keep up morale by talking about their training programs. One of the men had been assigned to Starkiller for a deployment, and he was telling stories about doing rounds or guard duty when a troop of stormtroopers was lost in the woods during a training mission. The group laughed at a joke one of the others poked at the man, who clapped him on the back in retaliation, causing the second officer to slip and fall into the snow. They erupted into another fit of laughter, but you didn’t join in. 

You had fallen behind them by about 50 paces, your mind too busy thinking about the events of the past day to worry about staying close enough to the group for protection. You knew these woods, they gave you no fear. But then again, you thought you knew your family. 

Your arms came up to hug yourself, not so much as to shield from the cold, but also to hold yourself together. Allowing the tears to fall for the first mile of the hike, you then worked on compartmentalizing the hurt. It was working so far, but you could feel the anger boiling up in your chest and you let out a shaky breath. 

“You did well, (L/n).” Hux’s voice followed his footsteps as he returned to your side after checking the surroundings for any evidence of Resistance. “It is not easy to face your family in the way that you have. You showed true strength-” You rolled your eyes and turned, the anger in your chest bursting forward. 

“Bullshit.” You scoffed, causing Hux to glare at you. You ignored him, your eyes facing forward as you trudged through the snow. “That wasn’t strength sir, that was self preservation.” You shook out your hands before stuffing them into your armpits to force heat to return to them.

“True strength would have been refusing the invitation. Telling my mother that she was a selfish witch who wouldn’t know hard work if it smacked her in the face.” You kicked the snow in front of you, trying to dispel some of the anger before your mouth got you into more trouble than it already had. 

“Your family seemed well off, do you not think that was due to their hard work?” General Hux asked. You looked at him with a slight tilt of your head to see him walking forward, hands clasped behind him as if nothing in the world would bother him. The snow didn’t even seem to slow him down. He looked as if he was simply walking through the bridge. You nearly scoffed...nearly. 

“No. That wasn’t hard work. Everyone on this planet is some form of trader, merchant or creator. Its easy. Its in our blood. You make a small fortune if you simply build something worth selling. ‘Made on the beautiful plains of the merchant planet!’” You mocked. “Has anyone seen this planet? Whatever part hasn’t been taken over by industrial war mongers has been left to fight for whatever they can find. My village is one of the few that actually managed to resolve the fights, but not before losing nearly a quarter of the population.” You again kicked the snow. 

“What do you consider is hard work then?” General Hux asked you. You could tell that he was listening to your anger filled rant, and you were almost embarrassed. You wanted to look like a capable officer in front of the general, but so far, you had mostly shown him a child who lets emotion take hold. Even if he was angry with you, and the second you returned to base he was going to demote you, or worse, discharge you, you didn’t care. You were furious. 

“Hard work is going against what everyone around you expects of you. If you are told that you will never climb a tree because you are too small to reach the first branches, and you agree, walking away to find a shorter tree, that’s easy. Even if you end up climbing to the very top of the tree, you chose the easy way, full stop.” You look to the general and he is now watching you as you walk, his face a mix of carefully crafted admiration and stoicism. You cleared your throat and continued. “But if you keep trying to reach that first branch. You do everything you can, you run and jump, pile logs until you reach it, or even use a knife to claw your way to the branch. And _then_ you climb to the top. That is hard work.” Your anger had warmed you up and your dropped your hands to your side, regaining your composure. 

Above the trees you could see the wings of the Command Shuttle starting to break through, meaning you were close to the next town. The officers had moved around a bend in the road, an outcropping of rock hiding them from view as the two of you continued to walk. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you stopped, turning to look up at Hux. 

“You have worked hard for your position within the Order,” He began, and your blood ran cold _Shit, this is it._ you whined to yourself, bracing for the worst. “ You have great passion for what you believe in, and you have shown me today that your talents are wasted as a low ranking officer.” Your eyes bulged at his implications. “When we return to the _Finalizer_ I am putting you in for a promotion.” 

“General Hux sir, I... I don’t know what to say.” You stuttered, shock paralyzing you. Here you were, thinking you were about to be fired, and instead you were getting a promotion. “I haven’t done much, just what is required of me.” You supplemented, not really understanding why you were declining the honour of a General’s promotion. 

“I have seen officers with years more experience than yourself, freeze when faced with a combat scenario. I’ve also seen many more fail when faced with a situation in which they had to choose between their loyalty to family, or to the Order. You faced both of these challenges simultaneously and despite it all, still have the fire within you to fight be resilient. I expect a great deal from my officers. Lieutenant (L/n), you have exceeded even _my_ expectations.” 

You stared at him in complete shock. You had heard of officers being executed along with family when they were found to be unsympathetic to the Order, but you had never known that they had to choose. You had also heard of officers freezing when faced with combat, resulting in entire units being killed. You considered if you had been faced with another enemy at another time, if you weren’t defending your home... would General Hux still say those things about you? Hux’s hand leaving your shoulder brought you back into the present and you shuffled to catch up with him. 

Rounding the corner, and entering the town had you once again stopping as you took in the site before you. The officers that had been walking with you were strewn about the square, each one staring at a body of the crew that had been left on the ship. Blaster burns scorched the hull of the shuttle and the surrounding buildings, and you nearly vomited at the red tinged snow under a civilian. “What. Happened.” Hux growled, snatching a civilian that passed him by the front of his collar, pulling him up to face him. 

The man yelped in fear, his hands coming up to show he had no weapons. “Resistance! They attacked the ship, your men returned fire but they had been surprised! Most of them were dead before they knew what happened! We pulled them out of the ship, we were gonna bury them.” The man stammered, to which Hux dropped him and the man fell to the ground, his knees not supporting him.

“Rob them you mean. Thinking that you could find something on them worth selling.” Hux spat, to which the man scrambled away, slipping in the snow. His suspicions were confirmed when a search of the bodies and the ship came up with a disturbing lack of datapads and medical supplies. It also came up with the discovery of Major Hollinger his communicator clutched in his hands, a blaster bolt burn on his chest. His body tucked into a corner next to the engine room hatch. 

“There must have been a third. Came back around to finish off any survivors before they could send out a distress signal.” You mused as you stared at the carnage, heart breaking at the sight of this much death on a holy day. The general agreed, his face a set of hard features. The only remaining officers consisted of Two engineers, a backup communicator a weapons specialist, Mitika and his training officer, yourself, and the General. You were going to be severely outnumbered if a squadron of Resistance arrived, and at this point, it was crucial to get out of atmosphere and return to the _Finalizer_ to regroup before figuring out the next steps. The Officers that were currently planetside, that had not been identified would be safe, it was the current company that was in any real danger. 

“General Hux.” The communications officer called from the command deck doorway. Hux turned, and the officer continued. “Our communications systems are down. Once they got the pilots they took out the consol, weapons are also down according to Officer Bleakley.” 

“They are going to return, and they’ve made sure that we couldn’t defend ourselves. Begin preflight checks, bypass anything that is non critical, and get us off this planet.” Hux ordered, and instead of moving, the officer stood in shock. “Is there a problem Captain Dur’rak?” Hux nearly growled, and the young man paled. 

“Sir... none of us are pilots.” The full realization of that sentence hit you, and your eyes met Hux’s almost at the same moment as his mouth curled in a seer. 

Hux climbed the ladder before him almost instantly, his arms basically throwing up him up the four feet to the sitting area. You followed behind him, your eyes scanning the area as he again climbed up into the command deck. The two engineers were huddled around the consol, trying to figure out what was salvageable enough to establish a connection with the flagship. From the look of the consol, and their faces, it wasn’t promising. Hux examined the damage and the sneer hadn’t left his face. You, on the other hand, made your way outside via the ramp, glancing around at the sky above you. 

To your horror, four black spots appeared through the clouds, and suddenly the sound of X-wings had you running back up the ramp. “Sir! Resistance fighters! Four of them!” You yelled, and Hux turned to you in surprise before he looked out the visor of the ship, face falling into a serious frown. 

“Fire up, and get those shields online!” He commanded before dropping down into the sitting area and pulling out his blaster. “(L/n), can you fly this?” Hux asked, as he looked out the ramp at the fast approaching ships. 

You glanced at the complicated controls of the command shuttle, along with the second seat. This thing required two highly trained pilots. You were one, moderately trained Tie-Pilot. You took a breath and squared your shoulders. “Not alone sir.” you replied honestly. He nodded. 

“Then you won’t be alone. Start the pre-flight tests. Ensure the shields are activated and get us in the air.” You didn’t have time to think about what he said before you responded with a yes general, and made your way to the cockpit, setting yourself in the seat and flicked the required controls to get the engines running. You leaned over the consol, stretching to reach the toggle for the shields, your finger had only just barely reached it, powering up the defenses before the first shot was fired from the X-wing fighters. The ship rocked with the barely protected blast, and you grit your teeth as sparks flew from the blasted controls and singed your skin through your uniform. 

As you began the checks, a beeping drew your attention to the display to your left. “Shit!” You yelled, the warning for the intake valve almost mocking you from its position. You threw off the headset you had put on and jumped from the cockpit. Hux called your name from his position by the door with the others, all of them defending what little amount they could with their blasters, but in the interest of time, you ignored him, jumping down to the engine room hatch. 

“Sorry Major.” You mumbled, pushing the body away from you and off of the hatch, before you wrenched it open and slipped down into the cramped crawlspace. The heat from the room blasted you in the face and you covered your nose at the stench of Fathier dung. “Kriffing kids.” You swore, as you instantly knew what it was that the children had thrown into the intake. 

It was suddenly obvious that simply pulling something out of the intake was not going to cut it, and instead you would have to bypass the sensor long enough to get the ship in the air. Maintenance would have one hell of a time trying to clean that, quite literal, shit, out of the engine. When you made it to the control panel, your cold fingers turned the screws to release the covering, then sorted through the wires to find the one connected to the intake. 

You found it after some rooting, and then pulled it forward so that you could see it. Using a finger nail, you stripped the insulation off of it, hissing and shaking out your hand when you felt a shock rocket through you, up to your shoulder. Biting back the pain, you repeated the step with the main override exposing the two wires to your view. You then looked around for a wirecutter, ducking as another shot hit the ship. Behind you, the engine continued to roar into life. You glanced behind you as steam and electricity filled the air. 

Running out of time, you pulled the Lieutenant bar off of your collar and used the sharp edges and the pressure from your hand to cut the wires, sighing as your rudimentary tool did the job. Finishing up and reconnecting the wires. You shut down the console and then reset it, turning back you pushed through the engine room. 

Your eyes widened at the indicator before you blinking red. You had only a moment’s notice before the crackling of electricity and the feeling of fire burned through your side. After a moment, it passed. Breathing heavily, you pushed through and climbed back up through the hatch to the main sitting area. The ramp had begun to close and all officers, bar the General had strapped into their seats. You then painfully climbed into the command deck, and in shock you saw the general finishing the preflight checks, the headset positioned on his forehead. 

“Lieutenant (L/n)! Are you alright?” He asked, his eyes drifting to the blackened portion of your uniform shirt that had been exposed during the electrocution in the engine. Your hand drifted to the spot and came away covered in blood. You hid this from sight, sliding into the co-pilot seat and placing your own headset on your ears. You could tell that Hux wanted to question you, but another shot rocked the ship and he clenched his jaw. This was an argument for later. Right now, you needed to get the hell off this planet, and back into range of the Ventral Cannons on the _Finalizer_. 

Foregoing all preamble, Hux pushed the thrusters forward and the ship began to lift. You flicked more switches, extending the wings of the shuttle on Hux’s command, and then groaned in pain as the ship slammed forward rocketing out of orbit and into space. 

“Prepare to jump to Lightspeed.” Hux ordered, his hands flying over the controls before him. The same controls you were used to in a Tie-Fighter faced you, and you easily focused on the task before you, ignoring the pain in your side for the time being. 

The X-wings behind you continued to fire, but without the weapons system, you couldn’t see where they were. The button before you lit up, indicating light speed was prepared. You trusted that Hux had already implemented the coordinates of the flagship and turned to him, hand hovering over it. “Light Speed ready Sir.” You coughed out, the pain radiating each breath multiplied tenfold when you spoke. Hux gave the command and you slammed the switch, watching as stars became streaks of light. You both then relaxed, and let out a breath of relief. 

“Nice work, Lieutenant.” General Hux commended as he slipped his headset off and set it on the controls. You nodded to him, wincing as the adrenaline in your bloodstream started to wear off and pain engulfed your vision. You lifted your left hand, pulling off the headset and carelessly tossing it to the ground as you made to stand. 

Before you could get your legs under you, they gave out and you collapsed to the floor at Hux’s feet. “(L/n)? (L/n), are you alright?” Hux quickly dropped to your side, his hand lifting up your face. He nearly recoiled at the clammy and cold texture that met his fingers. He cursed, turning you over onto your back, pulling away the torched coat of your uniform to reveal the wound on your side. He again cursed, his eyes scanning you for further injuries as you stared up at him with glassy eyes. He paid you no mind, instead he set to work on patching the bleeding wound. 

Hux’s hand moved to the zipper of your coat, wrenching it down and pulling the arm on your non-injured side out of the sleeve, then opened the jacket and carefully pulled it away from your injured side, slipping the arm out and laying it carefully on the floor. Hux then used the jacket to pillow your head. You nearly protested, wanting to complain that you were cold, but you found that your tongue was heavy in your mouth. 

Panicked, you attempted to sit up, but you were met with the right forearm of the General pressing down on your chest. Attempting to fight him, you kicked up one of your legs, striking him in the chest. He glared at you, air leaving him for a moment before he recovered and then swung his leg over you in the tight quarters of the cockpit and sat on your thighs, being careful to avoid your side. “(L/n), you are going into shock. You need to calm down and let me help you.” Hux ground out, his hands pressing on your shoulders as you continued to fight him. 

Fearful tears started to leak from your eyes as you felt trapped and survival instincts kicked in. Flinging your arms again, trying to gain purchase on something to throw him off. Having enough, Hux yelled for help and before you knew it, your arms and shoulders were being held down by Mitika, Bleakley and another officer you didn’t know were holding your limbs and shoulders down. 

Hux then gripped your shirt and tore it in two, exposing the burn to the open air. You hissed in pain, as the air met the charred flesh and the officers above you turned their heads away at the sight of the wound and your naked - or mostly naked - form. The General was unphased instead he opened the compartment under the console to reach for the medkit. 

But instead of the burlap bag he was expecting, Hux’s hand met air. He turned and his jaw clenched at the sight of the missing medical bag. “Mitika, were any of the medical bags missed when the Resistance raided the ship?” Hux barked, and the Lieutenant shook his head to the negative. The other officers copied the sentiment and Hux wanted to rip their throats out due to the rising rage. “Well do _any of you_ have a med-kit on you?” He growled and they again shook their head, the unknown officer having the common sense to call down to the others and ask if they saw one or had one. When the answer was again a resounding ‘no’, Hux uncliped his collar and quickly tore off his uniform jacket, and then his long sleeve dress shirt, leaving him in just his undershirt. 

You watched, your vision slowly going black as he used his teeth to tear a hole in the stitching at the sleeve, pulling it off and setting it to the side. He then grabbed what remained of your shirt and balled it up, wrapping it in the clean white of his shirt. He then pressed the bundle to your side and used the remaining sleeve and the tail of the shirt to make a tourniquet for your side. Hux pulled it tight and you screamed out in pain. You knew he was saving your life, but damn it if he couldn’t be gentle. The other sleeve he wrapped once around your hand and tied it to bandage at your side immobilizing it. You hadn’t even noticed the burn curling around your arm. 

You were then released by the other officers, with one more yell of pain, you finally allowed the black you had been fighting to engulf your eyes. The last thing you heard was the general calling your name, ordering you to stay awake. 

____

You woke up to yelling, slightly muffled but amplified at the same time, as if you were pressed to the chest of the one yelling. Opening your eyes was a fight, but when you managed to win, you looked up to see Hux’s chin, and the lights above you of _Finalizer_ passing quickly. He was running. Hux noticed you shifting and glanced down at you, his face serious. “I told you to stay awake, Lieutenant.” He scolded, and you nearly smiled at the light attempt at humour. 

“Sorry sir.” You slurred, your eyes wanting to close again. A particularly hard jostle had them snapping open as you groaned in pain, and you half wondered if he noticed your faltering consciousness and purposely tried to keep you awake. How much blood had you lost? Before you knew it, the doors to the medbay swung around you and you were deposited on a gurney. Your stomach roiled in pain and you nearly gagged. A pinprick on your arm had you glancing down around a sweaty forehead to a needle of painkiller mercilessly being pushed into your flesh. You sighed as the relief filled your veins. General Hux stood by your head, gently brushing hair from your slick brow as the medics began to cut away at the field bandages and clean the damage. 

You kept your eyes on the General, his face the only one you knew in your medicated haze. He wasn’t speaking but his eyes spoke volumes. He was concerned, angry, and you wouldn’t dare guess, but he looked scared. That was quickly covered up by fury as he was escorted out by a medic, who was apologising profusely. Another pinprick and you felt your eyes grow heavy as a sedative overtook your mind. You fought it for a moment, but the exhaustion quickly took over and your eyes closed for the second time. 

You woke up some time later, the beeping of the heart monitor pulling you from your dreamless sleep. A medical droid was over you, applying another layer of bacta to your side. You turned your heavy head, watching the machine work for a few moments before taking stock of your own body. Your right side was completely numb, in thanks partly to the bacta, and for a few patches of stim pads that blocked the nerves from firing. 

Your left arm was connected to an IV, and you lifted it, making sure the limb worked. Then the toes on your left foot. The moved, which meant your leg would too. You then turned back to the right side and lifted your right arm, bending it at the elbow to examine the skin. 

White scars crossed over your epidermis, forking out and around your forearm and the lower half of your tricep expanding from the side of your wrist. The scar -because how could something like that not scar - would look like cracked glass. You sighed, expecting your lower half to look close to the same. A quick glance down your body confirmed your thoughts. A large white bandage covered a good portion of your waist, and when the droid pulled off the dirty bandage to replace it, you winced and then stared in shock at the pattern across much of your abdomen and the angry red spot where the shock had started. You had no idea how much voltage your body had endured, but it must have been close to that of a lightning strike. 

The droid then moved away, and a human medic entered the room. “Oh good, you’re awake. We were beginning to think you might sleep a whole other day.” The woman spoke cheerily, walking to the side of your bed to read the EKG report. 

“How long have I been out?” You cracked, voice harsh and dry. The medic pushed a cup of water toward you as she marked something down on a paper and then moved to check the IV. 

“About one cycle. General Hux has asked me to report to him when you wake, but if you aren’t ready for a debriefing, I can wait until the next day cycle?” She offered. So it was night time then. The woman turned to you, adjusting your pillows as she waited for your answer. 

“I... I don’t....” You swallowed, taking the cup and greedily gulping down the liquid. It tasted bitter, like it was pumped with medicine. You forced it down, a droid moving forward and filling it. You swallowed that down too before continuing. “ I can see him. I want to make sure everyone else is okay.” You decided and she nodded. 

“If it makes you feel any better, no one else was admitted to the med bay. Just you.” She then took your chart and moved out of the room. _That doesn’t make me feel any better at all. If anything I feel worse._ A data pad had been placed on your tray and you pulled it to you with the non burned hand and placed it on your lap. Your access code opened up the data pad and you began sorting through the work you had missed on your brief trip. There wasn’t much, and before long you were watching a Holovision program, your mind not really paying attention. 

“You should be resting, not working.” Your eyes shot to the door to see General Hux standing in your room, displeasure painting his features. You attempted to sit up but a shot of pain had you stopping and letting out a slow breath. “How are you feeling?” Hux asked, moving to stand at your bedside. 

“Like I was electrocuted.” You joked painfully, another hiss of pain leaving you as you tried to laugh. Hux simply tutted. 

“You are lucky to be alive.” Hux snapped quietly. You furrowed your brow and looked up at him. 

 

“Are you angry with me, sir?” You asked incredulously. Anger flaring in your own chest. Hux sighed, looking very much like the tired young man he was as his head dropped to his hand, his fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. 

“No, I am not angry with you Lieutenant. I am angry with myself. There should have been more security. Your planet is not exactly hostile but it is not exactly welcoming to the First Order either.” Hux pulled the chair beside your bed to himself and let himself sit on it. He looked like he hadn’t slept since the night in your home. 

“Sir, you can’t blame yourself, no one was seriously injured-” His eyes snapped up to yours and you stopped yourself. The heartbeat monitor behind you filled the ironic silence almost comically. “I was injured because of my own stupidity. Not because of a lack of security. The Resistance surprised us. It could have happened to anyone.” You finished, and Hux sighed again. _He sighs a lot when he tries to keep composure._ You thought to yourself as you watched him. 

“How do you do it?” He asked after a moment of silence. You tilted your head in confusion, and voiced as such. “How do you feel so deeply for others but feel nothing for the importance of yourself?” Hux asked, his head resting on his palm, blue/green eyes scanning you. 

You thought on your response before closing your eyes at a wave of anxiety that you didn’t quite understand. “I know what I am worth, General. But the value I hold myself at is different from the value I hold others. If the choice is between myself and three of my comrades. I will choose my comrades,” You turned to him to meet his eyes. “Every time.” Hux watched you for a moment longer before standing and striding to your side, capturing your head in his hands, his lips falling to yours. Your IV connected arm came up and hovered over his hand, still hesitant to connect with him. 

 

“It’s alright. You can touch me.” He spoke against your lips, you searched his eyes nervously. 

“What will people think? This... isn’t allowed.” You restated your fear from the greenhouse and Hux smiled, kissing you again. 

“We can keep it a secret. No one has to know but you and myself.” He pulled away to wait for your answer, and in reply you let your hand drift behind his head and pull his head down for another kiss. You knew that this was moving quickly. But you had been through hell with this man, and you couldn’t deny the feeling you got when his lips were against yours. You pulled away at the same time and Hux turned his attention to your arm, his finger traced along the scar and you attempted to pull away from him, suddenly self conscious. 

“Please don’t.” You whispered, your eyes pleading with him. He nodded, understanding your discomfort and dropped your arm. 

“I have some work to do, but I will return to check on you in the morning. Should you need anything through the night, feel free to contact me via Datapad.” He said, brushing away your hair from your cheek, you hadn’t even noticed it was down and flowing around your face. 

“Isn’t it the middle of the night?” You asked with a half smile. “Shouldn’t _you_ be sleeping?” You teased and Hux quirked a brow. 

“Are you attempting to give me an order, (L/n)?” Hux asked a joking warning tinting his voice. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” You shot back, which earned you a shake of his head and a small laugh. Hux then pressed his lips to your forehead before leaving you to the program on your datapad. You didn’t watch much more, instead you opted for getting some rest, your body still feeling weak from the medication.


	4. Chapter 4

You were discharged after two days of recovery, with strict orders to only move when required, and you were not to fly for at least another week. General Hux had come to visit you each night, as he promised, and he currently was standing beside you, intending to help you back to your quarters. You of course knew that he was a busy man, and that his assistance was not actually needed, which lead you to your current predicament. 

“I am not asking, Lieutenant.” Hux snapped, his hands clenching behind his back as he watched you wrap the bandage around your middle as the medical droid looked on to make sure that you were capable of changing your own bandages. The white cloth wrapped around you and basically covered your entire abdomen in a protective layer of minty smelling bacta-soaked linen. 

You allowed the droid to adjust it as you grabbed the next wrapping meant for your arm. “I understand that, General, but I am asking that you please let me do this on my own. I am more than capable of walking back to deck E4 on my own.” The droid moved away and you watched it leave the room before you began wrapping your arm. 

Hux’s jaw clenched and in a moment you felt him grab your good arm and pull it up and close to him, you stared in shock at the sudden movement, and stilled when you met his eyes. They were dark and angry, and you couldn’t help but feel very very small under him. “Just because I have expressed my affection for you, and that I have let you speak your mind due to your trauma, I will not allow you to disrespect me any longer. I am still your general, and you will treat me as such. Am I _clear_ Lieutenant (L/n)?” Hux hissed and you felt your breath stutter and your heart stop. 

You began nodding, but when his grip tightened and he pulled your arm closer, your body forced out the words. “Yes General Hux, Sir.” Your voice was higher pitched than you normally spoke, and you figured the tension was to blame. The General released your arm and stepped back and away from you. You dropped your gaze and busied yourself with finishing the wrapping on your arm. 

Hux handed you your undershirt, and you lifted your arms to pull it over your head, but had to stop when the pain in your side burned, taking you by surprise. Hux’s hands were on you, tutting as he lowered your arms and pulled the shirt off. Your face burned in shame as he rolled the shirt and placed your head through the neck, then pulled the shirt over your shoulders. You had to admit that this _was_ easier to maneuver, and your arms didn’t have to lift much higher than your collarbone to push through the sleeves, which in turn eased the pain in your side. 

The med-bay had supplied the under leggings for your uniform as sleepwear, so you only had to tuck in the undershirt and then pull up the trousers. You then pulled on the black button up, tucking that in the pants as well, before bluckeling the belt. Hux then handed you your uniform jacket and you pulled it from his hand with a quiet thank you. 

You moved to a mirror on the side of the room to put on the jacket, and when it was zippered, you tilted your head in confusion at the missing rank from the shoulder. Thinking that it had fallen, you looked down to the floor and around you. Hux was then behind you and you startled, not having heard him move. “Sir, I can’t find my rank.” You said quietly, hoping that his look was not because of your break in uniform regulations. 

“That would be because I removed them.” Hux stated easily, reaching into his pocket and producing a First Order insignia stamped box. You took it from him warily when he handed it to you and opened it to reveal a Major’s rank, along with a patch for your flight suit. You picked up the latter and turned it to reach the aurebesh on the side. “I’ve lost my Major, and both of my command shuttle pilots. You have shown loyalty beyond expectations when faced with combat, and proven that you will be one of my most trusted advisors. I am expecting great things from you Major. Don’t let me down.” Hux took the box from your hand and placed it on the bed, removing the rank and pinning it on your collar. 

You saluted the general numbly and he returned it, as was customary when a new rank is given. It was a strange turn around, only moments before the general had been ready to break your hand, and here he was promoting you not only once, but twice. You had skipped Captain and moved right to Major. Not only that but you were now the personal pilot for both the General and the commander. Hux handed you the box, the patch enclosed and you pocketed it, along with the box of medical supplies for yourself. 

“Of course, when you are cleared to return to duty, we will make your rank change known, and we will update your security clearances.” The General spoke as he began walking with you to deck E4. “You will also have to take part in extensive training for the command shuttle. I am hoping that a co-pilot will be found by the end of the week to begin training with you.” As people passed you in the hallway they dipped their head respectfully to the general, their eyes then sliding to you, and then to your rank. You shifted almost uncomfortably when a Captain you knew passed, his eyes nearly bulging at the change in rank. 

General Hux entered a lift and you followed behind him. “Sir, I don’t know what to say. This... this is more than I could have ever dreamed to have accomplished. This is so much more than I ever expected.” You breathed after letting a few moments of silence hang between you. The lights of the lift flickered as you passed each floor. 

“A very wise young woman once told me that hard work is usually signified by doing something more than what you are expected.” The General smiled gently down at you and you felt like a young schoolgirl being praised by the teacher. The lift opened on the Officer’s quarters, and the general allowed you to lead him out of the lift and to your dormitory. Some of the off duty officers were relaxing in the lounge, but when the general passed, the sound immediately died down to a dull whisper. 

Internally you were screaming at the awkwardness but outwardly you cleared your throat and stopped in front of your dorm, typing in your access code, the door sliding open with a release of air. The officer’s dorms were a suite like type of room shared by two officers of the same gender. There was a private refresher connected to each bedroom, and the bedrooms were connected by a living area. Your roommate was currently sitting on the couch, a holomovie playing on a datapad as she cleaned her blaster. Her eyes flicked up when she heard the door open, but she double taked when she saw you were not alone. 

Dannyella, your roommate jumped to her feet to greet the general. “At ease Lieutenant LaCroix, you are off duty.” Hux ordered, his hand flicking up to dismiss her. She sat back down uneasily and continued to work on her blaster. Despite her motions, you knew that she was hyper aware of every movement the pair of you made. You set the med-kit down on the kitchen counter, making your way to the sink to clean your hands of the Bacta. 

The general stood tall in your small quarters, his eyes taking in the room he was standing in with a critical eye. You saw him move past you to the port window, the large space-glass gave an amazing view of a passing nebula, and you remembered how during your first few nights on this ship you sat in that very window watching passing planets and Tie-Fighters until you could will yourself away to sleep. 

Hux turned to look at you, his mouth opening to say something before his eyes drifted from you and landed on Dannyella. She heeded the silent order and quickly stood, taking her blaster with her, retreating to her room. The lock engaged on the door, and suddenly you two were alone. You took the first step towards him, and he smiled, moving over slightly to allow you space beside him at the window. 

“When you have been returned to work, I want to meet with you to go over our plan of attack to retaliate against the Resistance.” Hux spoke, as he looked out the port window, his face reflecting in the shined surface. You furrowed your brow in confusion. 

“I will be a part of the plan, sir?” You asked, hand absently ghosting over the burns on your opposite arm. 

“Of course, because of their actions, your home was attacked, and you were injured. I was assuming you would want to see revenge for these actions. Was I wrong to assume this?” Hux asked, turning once again to face you. 

You shook your head. “I would like to sir, but I’m not a strategist, I’ll only slow you down.” Your eyes looked out the window as two Tie-Fighters practicing a flight drill flew past. You felt your fingers itching to fly in the face paced fighter. For a moment you considered disobeying the order for bedrest and taking out a ship for a quick run. Your attention was drawn back to Hux when his hand slammed onto the wall beside your head causing you to jump and press against the window to your left.  
“Ohh good, I have your attention.” He drawled angrily and you felt yourself shrinking under his gaze. His other hand came up to grip your chin keeping your eyes on him. “If you are going to continue to disrespect me, and question my decisions, I will have no choice but to discipline you.” His eyes burned into yours and you knew in that instant that he would deliver on that threat and it had your stomach clenching. “Now, I know you have been required two days of leave to recover from your injury, which I will allow. In three days time I expect you on my bridge at 0600, otherwise, there will be hell to pay, am I clear?” He ordered, even in a whisper his voice formidable. You pushed out a quiet response and he straightened, releasing your head as he did. He then turned on his heel and marched from your dorm, and out into the hall. 

Your breath left you all at once and you slid to the floor, resting your hands on your knees as you looked out the window again. You considered Hux and his seemingly strange actions. You didn’t understand how voicing your own inadequacies was somehow disrespectful to the General, but apparently to him it was. You brushed your hair out of your face and sighed, watching as the Tie-Fighters flew by again. 

Dannyella’s door opened and she crept out, when she deemed the room was empty aside from you, she walked over to you and sat on the opposite side of the window sill, her feet stretched out in front of her. “So, what the hell was that about?” She asked, and you closed your eyes leaning your head back against the wall. “I heard that you had been attacked when you went home but I didn’t think that you’d gotten hurt. Then on the day you come back you bring the Kriffing _General_ back with you? If you aren’t careful people are going to start to think that you two are getting some on the side.” She joked but you simply opened your eyes and looked at her. 

“No shit.” She said, a scoff leaving her. “My roommate is fucking the general.” She shook her head as she spoke and you kicked out a foot to your friend smiling as you did. 

“It’s not like that. Nothing... happened... not really anyway.” You said, fiddling with the wrapping on your arm. You looked up to her and when you saw her smirking you shook your head at her. “Danny, you can’t tell a soul. I shouldn’t even be telling you.” You pleaded. 

Danny just crossed her arms. “So is he any good or...?” Your eyes widened and your face turned red as you kicked at her again. “It’s an easy question to answer!” She laughed pushing your foot away from her. 

“We haven’t slept together!” You defended, eyes darting around like you were expecting Hux to appear. 

“Not _Yet_.” She corrected and you glared daggers at her. 

____

You took the rest of the night to rest, Danny and yourself putting on a holomovie to pass the time and catch up before you both retired to bed. For the next two nights, you found yourself waking up at horribly early hours, unable to fall back asleep. You would cat nap through the day but it wasn’t enough. You spoke to Danny about it and she suggested that you return to the med-bay and see if they had something for you to take. That maybe it was stress from the battle that had your mind running a mile a minute. You took her advice, but the medic team simply said that you needed to rest more, and sent you back to your dorm with a clean bill of health for the night. 

The next morning, you had decided that you were done resting, and that you needed to do something to clear your mind. Your nightmares made it so that you woke up tired, but that you couldn’t sleep once you woke up. It was frustrating. So, on the morning of your third day at 0330, you woke, rolling out of bed after a particularly harsh dream and rolled your shoulders to try to release some stress. You then dressed in light work out clothing. You didn’t use the full wrap on your side, not wanting to sweat through the cloth, instead you put on a light dressing, a flowing half crop top and black workout pants. Throwing your hair into a quick, loose bun, you grabbed a gym bag with an extra uniform and shower things, slipped on your sneakers and made your way to the Officers Gym on the Main Deck. 

Data pads were good for a variety of things, but workout music was not one of them. You pulled out the miniature Datapad and smiled sadly at it. Your father had designed it using a broken one from the market, and reprogramed the smaller screen to work in much the same ways. You had proposed it the the technical team leader on one of your first few weeks on the ship, but the sergeant had just dismissed it, calling it a worthless bit of junk. Whatever people thought, you loved your little machine. 

When the lift opened, you pushed the earbuds in and the metallic silence of the ship faded and was replaced instead by music from all over the galaxy. You rode the lift to the main deck, and then made the short walk to the gym. A few officers were around, many of them paying you no mind considering your lack of uniform, but those who knew you dipped their head in greeting. You returned it, starting to feel the exhaustion melt away. By the time you reached the gym you felt awake and ready to work. 

You weren’t dumb, you knew to take it easy and not strain yourself too much, but this was the first day you were allowed to actually feel like yourself again in what felt like a lifetime, but it was more like a week. Tossing your bag to the wall, you moved toward a punching bag, and used the wrap provided by a training droid to protect your hands. You began your workout, but soon you felt like you weren’t alone in the gym anymore. You continued to work, eyes scanning for a weapon as you attempted to not let whoever had entered the room know you had felt them. If this person was going to attack you, you weren’t going to go down without a fight. 

You had no sooner located a blaster, and made the notion to jump for it than it was pulled from your grasp by an unseen force. You yelped in surprise and spun around to defend yourself, but you dropped away from your fight stance when you spotted the Commander standing away from you, watching you curiously. Or, at least, you thought he was watching you, his visor was tilted in a strange way. You eyed each other for a moment, neither one of you moving. _Does he want me to leave?_ You thought to yourself. _There are thirteen Gyms open to Officers. Why the hell did he have to choose this one._ You nearly scoffed. 

_“So you are the little officer that has the General so enraptured.”_ You started when you realized that he had spoken, but you could still hear your music. You then realized that he spoke within your mind. You pulled out your earbuds and placed the mini datapad on your gym bag. The Commander was a dangerous man, that was something that even the young children at the academy knew, and here you were, alone with him. 

“Good Morning Commander, is there something I can help you with?” You hoped that you didn’t sound too sarcastic or rude, but you couldn’t help it. You were on edge. Kylo Ren’s visor stared back at you silently. You almost considered repeating your sentence before he moved. The Commander took a few steps and stopped right before you, again tilting his visor. His hand then shot out, seizing your injured one. It took everything in you not to strike out at him or otherwise attack. 

Ren tilted your arm to look at it, examining the now bandage free skin. You watched him warily, senses fine tuned to react should he move. Instead, he spoke, his voice different from when he spoke directly into your mind, this time it was garbled by the vocoder. “I can see why. You have much to offer.” He said, before turning away from you and then striding out the door. 

“What the hell does _that_ mean?!” You called out to the empty gym, but no answer unsurprisingly came. You growled, returning to your music and finishing your routine. You checked your watch and saw that it was 0500, that gave you an hour to shower, dress, and make it to the bridge to meet with the General. As you made your way out of the gym and down into the locker, you noticed some officers dressing for their workouts and you smiled to them before making your way to the showers. You chose one closest to the wall on the opposite side of the room to give yourself enough space to have at least a little privacy. You didn’t like showering at the gym, but on the off chance you did, you tried to give yourself as much distance as possible. 

You turned on the water, letting it run to warm up as you undressed, and took your uniform out to allow the steam to get rid of any wrinkles that may have formed. The major rank on your collar caught your eye, and you ran a finger along the outer rim of it, smiling to yourself. It was hard to think that only three, nearly four years ago, you were just earning the bar of a lieutenant. And two years before that you were being picked up by the transport and then carted off to the academy. As you step into the shower, you let your mind wander back to those days, as awful as they were, you realized that those days were some of the few you thanked for your current position.  
Basic training, is hell. You start your first day in utter terror. The first thing you see is an officer, no trace of kindness in their eyes at all, climb up onto the transport. “Eyes forward, mouths shut, you so much as scratch an inch and I will turn you inside out. If you think I am kidding, you have a long two years ahead of you.” Every eye in that transport locked on something in front of them, and didn’t move. You chose the sign above a young man’s head, reading it thousands and thousands of times. _Emergency Exit Only_. 

The officer screaming at you then stated the rules of the camp you were going to, when lights out was, when you were expected to show up in the morning, and what to do should you hear a certain Klaxon blare. It was so much information at once and you felt like your head was spinning. You remember feeling so tense, so scared to even breathe. 

The transport then landed and you were herded out of the ship and into a formation. All the while your eyes were meant to be forward, but stars help you if you weren’t exactly on the spot they wanted you. Following orders was something you were able to do without much complaint, and the physical labor that you were demanded to preform was hard, but you were so used to doing everything at home. It almost pissed you off how there were people who would try to defy the orders, or shirk the responsibility to someone else. 

You remembered one boy, around your age who came from an affluent family on some rich planet who was sent to basic in order to clean up his act. His father had been an Admiral in the Empire, as with his grandfather, and he thought that he was too good for the rest of you. “My father was an admiral, you can’t speak to me this way.” He snapped at the sergeant who just glared and pulled him by the collar. Turns out that sergeant’s father had served under the kid’s father, and it turned out the Admiral was just as horrible as his son. Poor bastard spent the rest of the night cleaning a refresher with a toothbrush. 

After your first year at the base, you were given a test to determine what areas you were best suited to perform in. You were given Technician and pilot. You were then carted off to a seperate camp and trained in the way you had been assigned. The last half flew by and before you knew it you were graduating and being introduced to the General.

You groaned and your head dropped to the wall. The general you were currently in a secret totally not authorized relationship with. You ran a hand through your wet hair, pulling apart the tangles as you began to massage soap into your scalp. You rinsed it, but froze as you heard someone speaking, but not just someone, a man. You moved out to the main hall of the showers and poked your head around the curtain. 

To your surprise, no one was around, there wasn’t even anyone in the main parts of the locker room, in fact, all the droids were disengaged and the lights had been turned off. “Hello?” You called, maybe thinking that someone was out of your line of sight. No one answered. 

A little unnerved, you returned to your shower, quickly finishing and turning it off to dry yourself. The voice returned a few moments after you began to wrap yourself, and it was louder, like the man was standing outside of your curtain. He said your first name, but it sounded like he was speaking through a vocoder, but the only person you knew that spoke through a vocoder was Kylo Ren, and this did not sound like him. 

You wrenched open the curtain, anger evident on your face as you darted into the hall. “You should _not_ be in here. This is the women’s locker-” You stopped, the empty room echoing your voice back at you as if taunting you. “Room” You finished your thought deciding that you needed to just get dressed and get out of there as soon as possible. 

You did, dressing in your uniform in a record amount of time before moving to the mirror to fix your hair. As you pulled your hair into place, you felt what seemed at first like you were rocking back and forth, but then the distinct feeling of someone’s hands on your shoulders. You looked in the mirror but saw nothing, and then you spun around trying to see if maybe your eyes were just deceiving you. Again, nothing. 

You didn’t have much time to think about it as the alarm on your watch went off indicating it was 0545. You sighed, spraying hair spray liberally, then throw your bag into a locker and lock it with your access code. It would take you only about eight minutes to reach the bridge, so you didn’t run, instead you took your time and managed to walk onto the bridge at 0555. A few eyes turned to you, but soon returned to their work when you were addressed by the General from his place at the centre of the room. “Ahh, Major (L/n). Glad to see that you have recovered.” He announced. At your rank, more eyes darted up to see you and some looked on in surprise. Those who knew you mostly glanced at each other in surprise. 

You returned the greeting, walking to stand before him. “I am also glad you heeded my warning, although I think it would have been quite interesting to see the looks on their faces when I bent you over my knee right here.” Hux said low enough so only you could hear, your heart stuttering at his words. He smirked but it quickly fell when he spotted the dark circles under your eyes, and the drooping lilt of your eyes. 

You spoke for him trying not to let your body betray you more than it already had with your exhaustion. “I’m okay sir, I just haven’t been sleeping.” He raised an eyebrow in a silent question and you shrugged gently as you spoke, shaking your head. “I’ve been having nightmares, I spoke to medbay but they just told me to sleep it off. There was nothing they could do.” Although seemingly disturbed, Hux nodded once in acceptance and motioned for you to follow him, two Colonels joined you as the two of you walked into the hall and to a meeting room. 

“Gentlemen, this is Major (L/n), she will be assisting us on this mission as the attack occurred on her home planet.” Hux introduced you as he pulled out a chair for you, almost absentmindedly before sitting himself in the one beside it. The two colonels greeted you warmly, then sat on the opposite side of the table, one of them placing a projecting unit on the table, a projection of your home planet lighting up the room. 

“The attack was more reactive than an aggressive action, therefore it was easy to understand their plan of attack. X-wings that are in use by The Resistance are capable of Lightspeed, as we know, but not for as long as a time period as a heavy transport. This indicates that the Resistance either have a base, or a transport within the allotted space.” The map then phases out to show a group of planets or empty space that could be housing the group. The colonel then implemented a set of commands and many of the planets became circled, a First Order insignia covering them. “These planets are currently occupied by First Order Troops.” The remaining 10 planets lined up on the screen, their information being displayed. Hux pulled out his datapad and the same display was brought up on his screen. He selected a few of the planets and pushed them up to be projected onto the hologram. 

“These planets, while inhabited, have one factor or another that would be detrimental to ships entering the atmosphere let alone being stored on its surface. The natives on the planets are primitive and have been since the days of the Empire.” The colonel’s though seemingly unconvinced removed those four planets, leaving six remaining. “These remaining planets should be scanned for ships leaving and entering, any lightspeed signatures. I want spy missions on each one of them, find that base and inform me when you do. Do not allow yourself to be discovered, we can’t risk letting them know we are onto them.” The Colonel’s stood, dismissing themselves from the General who nodded in acknowledgment. 

Awkwardly, you sat there looking at the projection as Hux continued to type on his datapad. Deciding that it was probably time to go, you stood, but Hux’s voice stopped you. “Are we going to discuss it, or were you simply going to leave me in the dark.” He said. You turned to look at him, but he continued to type on the screen. 

“Sir, I don’t know what you want me to say.” You said, hands moving out from you in exasperation. 

Hux finally turned to look at you, placing his datapad to the side and steepling his fingers. He motioned to the chair you had previously occupied and you obeyed, returning to your seat. “You can begin by telling me when these nightmares started.” 

You rubbed the back of your neck nervously and shrugged. “I’ve been having them for a few weeks, but they only started to really bother me in the last few nights.” You supplied, feeling all the more tired as you spoke, your lack of sleep starting to drain you as you realized just how long this had been going on. 

“And what happens in these dreams that causes you to wake?” Hux asks, leaning forward as your body began to sag. 

“It’s usually nothing, just this intense feeling of panic. It’s only in the last two nights that its started to take shape. I’m in my quarters, but it’s not here, it’s somewhere else. There is a Klaxon blaring, and emergency lighting is on. The entire dream shakes, like with explosions. I walk into the hall to see if there is anyone around, but I see nothing and no one. As I stand there, the ground cracks and breaks around me I start running but,” You trail off, hating how scared you sounded. “I always wake up before I can make it out, my entire body just screaming ‘Run’.” 

Hux was silent for a long moment before he leaned back in his chair. “You may return to your normal duties, but when your shift is over, return to the bridge.” You nodded, a yes sir, tiredly leaving you. You and the General both stood, and to your pleasant surprise, the general pulls you to him by your hip, his other gloved hand coming up to cup your face. “You had me worried you know, I thought I was going to lose you.” He ran his hand along your face and you let yourself relax into the touch, closing your eyes as your hands came up to grip the lapels of his greatcoat. 

You felt your heart clench and the need to cry was overwhelming, but you wouldn’t allow yourself that moment of weakness, not yet. Instead you leaned up, kissing the general gently. He returned it happily and you stood like that for a moment before you pulled away, and ran off into the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

That day was full of a series of small tasks that all seemed to have stemmed from the same problem. One breaker in some random, rarely checked supply room had blown, causing things all over the ship to malfunction. Nothing you couldn’t fix, but it was enough to make your mind numb with fatigue. By the time your shift was over, you were all but dragging yourself to the bridge. You even let your head lean against the wall in an empty lift at one point nearly falling asleep standing up. Despite your desperate need for a nap, you forced yourself to enter the bridge. Most of the workers in this area had gone home for the night cycle, only a few crucial stations still powered on and working. 

You looked around the baren room for the General, but frowned when you couldn’t spot his large body. You would almost think that he had forgotten his earlier command to meet him at the bridge, but you believed that the General wouldn’t forget anything, especially not an order, and especially not to you. Just as you were about to turn and make a B-line for your bed for your nightly 4 hours, Commander Ren entered the bridge and strode over to you. 

You greeted him but he didn’t reply, instead he motioned for you to follow him and then exited out the door he had just entered. Obeying, your legs had to work overtime to keep pace with the lumbering man. Your fast walk then quickly divulged into a run and by the time you reached your destination, you were panting. Commander Ren simply looked at you, before entering in a code and pushing through the sliding door, not letting it open all the way. You followed hesitantly, eyes glancing around the room you two had entered. On one long wall, a single plate of reinforced glass exposed a breathtaking view of the back of the ship. The exhaust from the engines creating a dim blue glow, and trails of water vapor instantly boiling and cooling looked like stars. 

Your legs brought you to the window, and Ren allowed you to indulge in the view while he puttered around behind you. When he called your name, you turned, his voice no longer scrambled by the Vocoder. “Sit.” He ordered, and you obeyed. It nearly made your heart stop when you realized he had removed his helmet. You tried not to stare, but curiosity was killing you and you attempted to get a good look at your mysterious commander. Unfortunately the dark atmosphere made that nearly impossible as you sat on the circular pillow he had sat on the floor for you. 

“General Hux has informed me that you seem to be struggling with Nightmares.” You blushed at how childish it seemed coming from the man before you. He couldn’t have been much older than yourself, maybe five or so years, but he still held this air of ancient responsibility. If anything he looked just as tired as you did. 

“He... He told you? I didn’t think something as trivial as my sleeping habits would... interest you.” You tried to expel some of the anxiety you felt at his intense gaze, but it didn’t work. You tacked on a hurried ‘Commander’ as an afterthought, and he simply almost imperceptibly shook his head and rolled his eyes. 

“No, the General and I are not one to exchange common conversation. He was simply thinking about it constantly and loud enough that I was seconds from strangling him if only to make him stop.” Again, you blushed, honoured that you would take up so much of the General’s headspace. “When I finally had had enough, I explained to him that I would fix this problem for you, so long as he shut up about it.” You nodded respectfully and he continued. “So, do not think of me doing this as a kind gesture to yourself or the General, this is simply to help myself.” He growled and again you nodded, this time a bit more aggressively as you could almost feel the frustration roll off of him. 

You watched him for a moment and he watched you, the silence stretching between you uncomfortably as he seemed to peer into your soul, which he was actually capable of doing if memory serves you right. You cleared your throat and his eyes darted to yours, you don’t know what he had been looking at, but it certainly wasn’t your eyes. 

“Close your eyes, focus on the dream.” Your eyes slid closed, and you shifted, trying to get comfortable enough to pull the dream to the forefront of your mind. You couldn’t hear the dream, not like when you were asleep but you supplied the sound. “Don’t.” Your eyes snapped open to see Kylo staring at you. “Don’t try to recreate the dream, you will think too hard and it will become distorted. Let yourself... float.” You tilted your head, face twisted in light confusion but closed your eyes to try it again. 

The dream came to mind again and you simply let the dream happen. Once again, confusion started to fill you at the scene before you, and you tried to compare the dream to what you knew. _Maybe it’s just my dorm, changed slightly._ Suddenly the dream looked like your own dormitory, and confusion started to leave you. At that moment you heard Ren move, and your eyes opened just in time to see his hand reach for you, thumb and little finger pressing into your temples. You heard him mutter something along the lines of ‘useless girl thinking too much’ before you felt your blood pressure drop, your ears began to ring, and your eyes tunneled before going black. 

Your eyes opened again, but this time you were thrust into the dream. The Klazon was blaring, but unlike the other times, your ears actually rang a bit with each blare of the alarm. You swung your bare feet out from the bed you were laid in, before making your way out the bedroom door and peering out into the living area. This was more vivid than the dreams, it felt like you were really here. 

“Because you are.” Kylo Ren’s voice made you jump when it sounded from your right. The large man was no longer in his cowl, but instead was in the under tunic and pants. He looked very much like a shadow, standing against the wall beside a window. You walked over to him, having never noticed the window in the dreams before, perhaps the blind panic making you just that, blind. Snow swirled outside of the window, and a forest of tall trees was in the distance. “ _Starkiller_ Base.” He said, and you narrowed your eyes, looking closer out the window. 

“I... I’ve never been to _Starkiller_ Base before... How could I dream about it?” You asked, your voice echoing much like Ren’s when he spoke in your mind. Commander Ren didn’t answer you, instead he moved away from the window and walked to the main door of the room. He pressed on the access panel, but it didn’t respond. You figured it was because this was _Your_ dream, therefore you had to move the two of you along. 

When you made it out into the hallway, the ground was shaking and cracking. Rising panic made your heart pound, and you felt the need to run. Before you could take off, however, Kylo’s hand was on your shoulder stopping you. “This isn’t real (L/n), we are not really here. Relax. You are in no danger.” He spoke easily and you felt yourself relax. Taking another breath to steady yourself, you nodded to him and he walked before you, turning to walk down the right of the hall. 

“This is far as I ever get.” You say as you reach a door, the mangled bit of metal hanging on the hinges. Despite this fear, you walked up to the door, and pulled it open. Snow drifted around your ankles, but you didn’t feel the cold like you had expected. Curiosity fuled you, and you made your way up, out of the alcove you were in up the two stairs, and the out onto the frozen plain of the Base. You scanned the base, unnerved by the sudden quiet of the whipping winds. “Something doesn’t feel right.” You say mostly to yourself, but Kylo heard you. 

“This is not my vision, I am unable to feel what you feel. Tell me, what do you feel?” He asked. You turned to look at him confused at his choice of words, but you ignored it, instead focusing on the feeling. 

“It... It feels like the planet is empty. Like there are only a few people left. Something has gone wrong.” You opened your eyes, not having realized that you had closed them. Something drew your eyes to the sky, gasping as you saw escape shuttles. “They are evacuating.” You said quietly. 

“That they are.” Kylo says curiously, his eyes following the shape as well. He then turned his attention to you. “I am going to put you into a sleep. You will wake up tomorrow morning, tomorrow night, return to this room, and I will teach you to control this.” His hand moved up to your face again, but you avoided it, pushing his hand out of the way. 

“Wait! What is this. What’s happening, I thought it was just a nightmare.” You pleaded, eyes wide with fright. Kylo didn’t answer, instead he set his mouth in a firm line, his hand jutting out again and this time catching you, _Starkiller_ Base faded from view and was instead replaced by blackness, and you were left with confusion. But the confusion soon faded to nothing as you were thrust into a -thankfully- dreamless sleep. 

___

 

Commander Ren was correct in that you would wake up the next morning. You woke up before your datapad chirped with your alarm. You laid in bed for the few minutes you had before starting your day, thinking back on the experience the night before. You had slept nearly 13 Hours, and you hadn’t eaten, that much was obvious by the painful growl your stomach gave. You let your body roll out of bed at the chirp, your datapad speaking to you as you stripped out of your sleepwear, fetching your uniform as you made your way to the refresher for your shower. “Good Morning, Major (L/n). It is 0445, Duoday. You have four, unread messages, three flagged important reports, and one Schedule Change, authorised by, General Hux.” As it spoke, you nearly mocked the way it paused to deviate from the prerecorded shpiel to input your information. You quirked a brow at the schedule change as you stepped into the shower, calling out to the datapad. 

“Clarification, Schedule change.” You commanded, beginning your cleaning routine. 

“Clarification, Schedule change. 1900 hours to 2100 hours, daily, meeting with Commander Ren, Meeting note, Classified.” Your datapad responded. You again furrowed your brow at the information, but allowed yourself to focus on the current task at hand. There were no ghostly voices or hands this time around, and you sighed as you dried off. As you worked on drying your hair and pulling it into the bun, your mind drifted once again to your meeting the night before. 

You had never been to _Starkiller_ Base before, you’d never even really seen pictures before. They had shown you blueprints, and projections, in fact you had been tested on some of the schematics for your technician's test, but nothing would have given you that clear of a picture. And if wasn’t like you had created an idea in your head that you went to in your dreams, Commander Ren seemed to think that it was accurate as well. You gave yourself the benefit of the doubt, that maybe you had heard someone talk about the base before, even just in passing. 

With your bun finally done, you moved on to brushing your teeth. As you brushed, your datapad blinked with a message. “Attention, Major (L/n), you have an urgent message from General Hux.” You blinked in surprise but you tapped the screen nonetheless and read the message. 

_**Good Morning Major,  
Ren has informed me of his intention to meet with you daily. I have approved this request, please see your Schedule for these changes. I also require your presence in my office, report to me before you shift. You will also find that there are a number of tickets requiring your attention on the bridge. Your supervisor has been informed that you will be working on the bridge for the day.   
V/R  
General A. Hux. **_

You typed out a quick reply, alerting him that you had received his message then hurried to finish getting ready. You left your quarters by 0515, making your way to the command deck, as you read through the reports on your datapad. The breaker that had been giving you so much trouble had been replaced, but there were still issues going on around the ship, mostly with nonessential things, like doors not opening fully or locks engaging without warning. You figured that that was probably what the issues on the bridge were, and so you were pulling up the electronic schematic to the doors as you arrived at the General’s office. You knocked, and the doors opened allowing you entry. 

The General was sitting at his desk, his nose into his own datapad, the site was almost laughable. He looked up when you entered and you saluted, he returned it and you sat in the chair before his desk. “You seem rested.” He spoke at last. He was right of course, you had basically been in a coma for the night. You felt rested, the bags under your eyes were considerably lighter, and you hadn’t felt the need to yawn. Which was a plus. 

“I am sir,Commander Ren was able to help me sleep.” You answered, smiling slightly. He raised his chin to look at you, his eyes narrowing in curiosity. You felt hot under his gaze, clearing your throat to busy yourself pulling at your uniform. The sentence did sound like it was a bit compromising, and you fiddled with anything you could get your hands on. 

Hux had mercy on you, breaking the silence. “Ren has requested to meet with you every day,I of course asked him why this was, but he had refused to tell me. Hopefully, you could shed light on your meetings.” You looked at him in surprise. _Was he jealous?_ You felt yourself wanting to smirk but you couldn’t let Hux see that you had seen into his feelings. 

“Sir, I wish I knew. Commander Ren said that he would help me control, whatever it is that’s causing these nightmares.” Hux leaned back in his chair, regarding you carefully. 

“Did he say what it could possibly be? A sickness?” He asked, concern lacing his tone. 

“No, not a sickness, but he did seem concerned.” You paused, pulling at your cuffs. 

“Something bothering you, (Y/n)?” Hux using your first name startled you and your eyes shoot up to his in confusion. He simply tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. You looked away from him again and sighed. 

 

“Permission to speak freely, General?” Hux sat up at your question, extending his hand out to motion you forward. “Sir, I’m scared. I don’t know what’s happening to me, and I have a feeling that there is something at work here that I am not informed of. Sir, if you know of anything, tell me.” You hadn’t noticed that your eyes had started to water, or that a tear had leaked from the corner of your eyes to trail down your face. Hux was out of his seat in a moment, coming around his desk to kneel in front of you. 

“(Y/n), I swear to you, if I knew something, I would let you know. But unfortunately I know nothing.” He wiped the tears away from your cheeks, cupping your face in his hands. Your watery eyes searched his and you found comfort in their depths.   
If someone were to ask who moved first, you wouldn’t be able to answer. Your lips met halfway between the two of you and then Hux’s hands were moving to the arms of your chair. You pressed your chest up to Hux’s and one of his hands moved down to your back, pulling you up to stand. He turned you, setting you back on his desk his hands roaming along your sides until they came to rest on your ass. 

Hux squeezed your ass and you yelped in surprise. Hux chuckled against your lips, kissing along the edge of your bottom lip. You chased him, and he ran a hand up your side to your neck, then gripped your chin. Your eyes, blown wide locked with the General’s your chest heaving while his was barely moving. “So desperate, so eager. Wasn’t it just a few days ago that you were almost pushing me away, so worried about regulations....” He leaned forward, silencing your desperate wimper. “And rules?” He finished. 

Your hands landed on his waist, before trailing up to land on his chest and grip the front of his uniform tightly in your fist. You tried to pull him forward but he barely budged. Hux’s grip on your chin tightened as his other hand landed on your knee, pushing it away from the other allowing him space to step between them. You moved your ass forward on the desk, allowing your core to brush against his pelvis. Your breath caught and Hux’s jaw clenched as he let out a tight breath. Heat rose in your cheeks and for the first time you understood when people said that they were driven by lust. 

Never in your life have you ever wanted someone to take you on a desk in the middle of the workday while your coworkers were down the hall, but in that moment you did. Hux seemed to read your mind as his hand slid up from your knee to trail along your inner thigh before brushing against your core through your pants. You jumped, a high whine tearing from your throat at the contact. “My, someone is sensitive.” Your eyes widened at his voice, the deep timbre something you had never heard from him before. 

“Do you want me to fuck you, (L/n)?” The question had heat running to your core, your grip on his shirt tightening. “That is not an answer, Major.” He growled, his thumb pressing down on you through your pants causing you to buck up into him and gasp out a reply. 

“Yes! Please General Hux, please fuck me.” You squeaked out, your chest and cheeks turning red in shame. The general chuckled, his thumb drawing circles over your core. 

“Right here? On my desk? You wouldn’t prefer a bed? You would rather I bend you over my desk, rip off your uniform, and take you like some common whore?” As he hissed the words into your ear, you felt your breath come in pants and the heat in your panties double. You dropped your head to his shoulder as he continued to stroke you, but Hux didn’t allow this for long. His hand left your chin, and wrapped around your neck to tangle in the hair under your bun. You had half a mind to tell him off for ruining the hard work you had put into your uniform, but you forgot all about it as he tugged on the hair, basically resetting your brain for a moment to return focus to him. 

“Am I going to have to train you to answer questions when I speak to you?” He taunted, his hand on your core unbuckling your belt and then pulling you off the desk before turning you around to face away from him. You pushed your ass back against him, grinding into the front of his pants. In retaliation, Hux forcefully pushed your face to his desk, his other hand coming to smack your ass once. You yelped, but it ended in a gentle moan. 

“You take what I give you, and no more. Am I clear?” He ordered, leaning over you, the hand that smacked you landing dangerously close to your face. You supposed that the shiver of delighted fear was the point of the action. 

“Yes, General.” You panted, squirming under the heat of his body against you. Hux smoothed his hand down your back, a trail of goosebumps in its wake. The heat of his hand landed on the hem of your pants and his fingers hooked around your panties as well before pulling them down to expose you to him. You mewled in need, wanting desperately to push back against him, but you held back, wanting to be good. You felt his hand leave you, and heard the sound of his hand fussing with his belt, but you felt your blood run cold when his communicator went off, a video meeting request. 

You moved to stand up, ready to move out of the way but Hux pushed you down again. Whispering in your ear as he did. “If you keep low enough, and quiet enough. Commander Ren won’t see you coming apart on my desk.” To your horror, he accepted the call, and then his hand returned to your ass, his fingers slipping down to brush against your naked sex. 

Above your head you could see the blue light of the video call, and the projection of the camera that was capturing his figure. The line was just inches above your head and you pressed closer to the desk to avoid the light. “Ren. To what do I owe the pleasure.” The general answered sarcastically, his fingers suddenly entering you at his last word. You bit your lip to fight the noise rising in your chest, but when that didn’t cut it, and a small whimper left you, you quickly bit down on your wrist. 

“What was that?” Ren spoke from above you, and you felt yourself clench around Hux’s fingers. Hux began to move, and you had to bite down harder to avoid making a noise. You were not normally so reactive, but for some reason, the risk of being discovered, and utter taboo of your relationship, and the fact that you hadn’t slept with anyone since the academy. 

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you are speaking about.” Hux deflected easily, his hand scraping against your inner walls. Ren seemed to accept this and continued with his conversation explaining the details of a mission to some outer rim planet that had something to do with something important, but Hux was pressing on a particularly sensitive spot that had you effectively drooling and your eyes rolling back. 

Before you knew it, the call was ending and Hux was pulling away all contact from you. You whined loudly at the loss of sensation and Hux just tutted. “Now, normally I would indulge in my desires, and take you here across my desk. But, since this would be our first time together, I would like it to be at least partly respectable.” He walked around you as he spoke, moving to stand in front of your face, his hand lifting your chin to look at him. “Clean yourself up, finish your shift, and tonight, I will send for you.” You stared at him in shock. _He’s just going to leave me like this? How will I be able to work this wound up?_ You opened your mouth to protest but he simply raised his eyebrows in challenge. 

“What did I say before?” He ran his thumb along your lower lip, slipping it into your mouth allowing you to suck on it as he spoke. He watched your lips wrap around his digit for a few moments before he continued. “You get what I give you, and no more.” You hummed around his thumb in reluctant acceptance. 

He then pulled away from you, and allowed you to dress and fix your hair. All the while he watched you with a predatory glint in his eyes. Just before you were about to leave the general called to you. “Remember, no more.” He warned. You blushed under his gaze, then upon his dismissal you made your way uncomfortably to the bridge, unsure of how well you would be able to focus on the tickets.


	6. Chapter 6

As you expected, your mind was not wholly focused on your task at hand. Each time you bent to activate a console’s access panel, you imagined the General bending you over it and taking you in full sight of the bridge. The thought had you shivering and grumbling to yourself for a majority of your time. At one point, there was a loud crash causing every eye to lock onto some poor officer being held at arm's length and a foot off the floor by Kylo Ren. The knight was saying something, but you couldn’t hear it from the distance you were at. You shook your head pressing back with your right leg to push your rolling plank further into the console. You placed your flashlight in your mouth, using it to light up the circuit you were working with enough to replace a wire and resoder it to the board. You used the inner switch to flick it on, but there was no reaction. 

Furrowing your brow, you slid back out to the bridge. The Console was important, so having it shut down to allow you to work on it was costly, and every second that it wasn’t functioning was one second you were without a- what was that console for again? Emergency Door Shutdown?- whatever this console was for was dangerous. You sighed, wiping at the sweat gathering on your brow, as your other hand pulled the flashlight out. Standing, you made your way to the controls of the console and flicked the reset switch a few times. When it still didn’t come to life, you swore under your breath and made your way back to the cart and sat down. 

“Having some trouble?” Commander Ren’s voice sounding above you had you swearing again. He tilted his visor at you in what you suspected was his form of a smirk. You nodded, grabbing your datapad to reexamine the schematic for the console as Ren watched. “What seems to be the problem?” He asked, squatting beside you. You looked at him strangely, no one besides technicians and the odd tinkerer really cared about your job. Despite that, you showed him the schematic, pointing to the problem area. 

“This fuse isn’t firing properly, which means that it is causing a delay in the signal. Since the signal isn’t being sent correctly, only a few of the emergency doors will shut. All but the main door. I thought that maybe it was the circuit connecting the fuse to the main control, but that didn’t change anything.” You glanced back into the depths of the hole you were working in, and a spark caught your eye. Laying back on the cart, you pushed yourself inside and pulled out your multitool. With one drop of metal, the sparking stopped and the console fired into life. You smiled in pride, but soon felt your heart beat too fast in your chest. 

The console around you suddenly felt much too small, and you felt like you were burning again. You shut your eyes tightly, trying desperately to get breath into your lungs but no matter how hard you tried you felt like you were suffocating. Kicking out your feet, you caught onto the side of the door and used it to pull you free of your makeshift prison and propel yourself out and into the bridge. Kylo had moved away from the door by that point and you shot up from your cart, the metal clattering on the floor and again causing everyone around you to stare at the second loud bang to resound around the bridge. 

Hux was at your side in a second, he didn’t touch you but you could tell that he was checking to make sure that you hadn’t reopened a wound or burned yourself again. Breath began to fill your lungs, and your heart slowed down enough that your eyes stopped tunneling. You felt yourself being lead by Ren out of the room, the General’s booming voice ordering the rest of the room to stop their staring and return to work, before he too followed you out to an officers lounge. 

One look from Ren had the entire room empty in seconds, and after Hux entered, the door was locked behind you. Kylo left your side to walk to the refrigerator to retrieve a water after sitting you down on a couch. Hux sat beside you, turning his body to face yours as he grabbed your shaking hands in his own. He didn’t press you to talk, instead he just rubbed soothing circles along the back of your hands as you steadied your breathing. Kylo returned to you, handing you the water which you gladly accepted and took a large drink of. 

After a moment, Hux squeezed your hand gently and you glanced up to him, your (e/c) eyes meeting his, all shame melting away at the concern he displayed. “How are you feeling?” He asked quietly. You smiled weakly, taking another drink from your water. 

“A bit ridiculous, sir. I don’t know why I reacted like that. It’s really unbecoming.” You answered, bile rising in your throat as you thought back to the way people looked at you on the bridge. Hux tutted and shook his head. 

“It is not unbecoming, (L/n), you had a PTSD episode. It is not uncommon.” Hux scoffed and you stared at him with wide eyes. 

“A PTSD episode? No, I couldn’t have had one of those!” You replied incredulously, shaking your head dismissively. 

“Why not, you experienced a traumatic injury.” Kylo spoke this time and you turned your attention to him, shaking your head again as you stood, removing your hands from Hux’s as you paced away to the other side of the room. 

“So many people have been through worse situations than I have and they never experience something like that.” You turned to face the men, you didn’t know who you were angry with, but you allowed it to be directed at them. “I am _fine_ , I was burned, that’s it. General, you were there with me and you don’t have episodes like this!” You blurted, hands flying out in frustration. Hux’s face fixed itself in a hard line and Kylo, as if being ordered to, turned on his heel and left the room, locking the door behind him again as he left. 

You watched him leave, anger deflating and turning into uneasiness as the General stood and walked over to you. “You are wrong.” He said when he stopped before you. You looked to him in confusion, but he simply took your hand and lead you back to the couch, allowing himself to sit after you. With Ren no longer in the room, he sat closer to you, his hand holding yours and resting in your lap. The sudden intimacy after your panic was a welcome comfort, and you loved how he absently was fiddling with your hands as he began to speak. 

“Every night after I would visit you in the medbay, I would return to my quarters to work. I couldn’t help but think of when you fell at my feet in the cockpit. How your eyes rolled back into your head. I thought I lost you.” He gripped your hands tightly, and you tried not to wince. You squeezed back and he silently thanked you for the comfort. “When I tried to sleep, I would wake up to nightmares of hearing that you had succumbed to your injuries in the night. Or that the Resistance had come back to finish the job. I am sure that your doctor had had enough of my calls by the third night that she began ignoring me.” You felt your heart clench at how much he seemed to care. It surprised you, the hard exterior of the general hid a soft romantic. 

You lifted one of your hands to cup his face, your fingers brushing along his hairline to touch his gel slicked hair. He leaned into your touch as if he was starving for the contact, and you realised that he probably was. “You haven’t lost me, yet.” You joked in a quiet whisper and the general chuckled softly, his hand coming to cover yours. He pulled it from his face and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand. Butterflies erupted in your chest at the motion, and then they burst into heat when he pulled you in for a kiss. 

When Hux pulled away, your eyes fluttered back open slowly to see his face was softened from it’s normally hard facade, his eyes then darted to the clock on the wall. “It seems that I have made you late.” He said with a self satisfied smirk. You glanced at your watch and swore. You were late for your meeting with Commander Ren. Hux moved to pull you onto his lap for another kiss but you giggled as you pushed him away from you and opened the door. You shot a bright smile over your shoulder at him, all memory of your episode forgotten and you raced down the halls to the meditation room. 

Ren was not pleased that you had kept him waiting. That much was evident by him plunking you down on your pillow with the force and not with a simple command. You tried to defend yourself but he held up a hand to silence you. You obeyed, getting comfortable on your spot as he spoke. “I am going to help you control, and even understand your visions.”

“Visions?” you asked raising an eyebrow at his words. 

“Yes, visions. I have spoken with the Supreme Leader, and he has informed me of a special circumstance with you.” Your blood ran cold. The Supreme Leader now knew who you were. By name. “It seems the Midi-chlorian count in your bloodstream is that less than a force user, such as myself, but more than that of a non user, like Hux.” 

“I’m a... a _Force user_?” You gasped mind moving at a thousand miles an hour. Kylo rolled his eyes. 

“No, at least, not exactly. You have the ability to see and hear the Force, hence your visions. But you are unable to wield it, to use it as a weapon. I sensed that there was something strange about your force signature, it was unusually loud for someone who was not a force user. And after you returned from your mission, it was even louder.” You stared at your hands as if you could see the tiny creatures swimming in your bloodstream. Of course you couldn’t, but it still didn’t make you any less amazed by your own skin. 

“What changed?” You asked, returning your attention back to the Commander. The young man shifted in his seat almost uncomfortably. 

“The Supreme Leader seems to think that it was when you were electrocuted. The shock must have stopped your heart, and interrupted the signals in your brain enough to ‘reset’ you. The Midi-chlorians were in your blood all along, as they are in most all creatures, but the shock may have activated them, and they doubled as self defense.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. It was so incredibly outrageous that you stood and took a step back walking as if walking away was enough to stop the truth. 

“This... this can’t be happening. I can’t be a... whatever it is I am. I’m just me! I... I don’t...” You began pacing around the room and Kylo’s eyes watched you as your world fell apart. 

“Despite what you may _want_ major, This is what is happening. Since I am the only Sith within the First Order, I have been tasked with helping you understand the visions and feelings you are getting. Now, _Sit. Down._ ” He growled, and you felt yourself lift into the air and slam into the pillow again. You coughed to regain the breath in your lungs and glared as you sat back up. You wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. You never signed up for this. You wanted to be normal. 

Kylo stared back at you, daring you to say something, his dark eyes staring deep into yours. When he was satisfied that you wouldn’t defy him again, he sat up straighter, squaring his shoulders and ordering you to do the same. 

 

For the next three hours, Ren helped you hear his thoughts, block someone from reading yours, and aided you in lessening your force signature so that others who may be sensitive would not be able to pick you out as being able to feel the force. As you meditated, he explained how the force works, and how he used it. You would never be able to use the force as he had, there simply wasn’t enough of the creatures living within your body to connect you to to force in that way. You had made a joke about just shocking yourself again, but Kylo didn’t find it nearly as funny as you did. 

By the time 2100 rolled around, you were mentally exhausted. Ren dismissed you and you thanked him for his help. He remained in the room to mediate a while longer, and you left quietly. As you left the room, your datapad pinged with a message from Hux. You knew what it meant, and it had your legs crossing to ease the pressure that suddenly roared back to life. The message was innocent enough, if anyone were to read it they would simply think that the general was asking you to meet with him privately after hours in the office in his quarters. You made your way to the command deck and then to the door specified in the message. Hux greeted you at the door and welcomed you in and through his office to another door that lead to his living area. 

Your heart again melted at the romantic scene before you, and you felt a girlish giggle rise in your throat. Hux had dimmed the lights in the living area to 50%, the electric fireplace lit and casting inviting shadows over the room. On the table between the couch and the fireplace was a plate of snacks and two wine glasses. Next to the table was a bucket with ice and two bottles, one of wine, and one of champagne. Light music was playing from a sound system in the corner letting the room fill with a lovely warm feeling. 

“Sir, this.. This is beautiful.” You breathed out slowly, eyes taking in the room before you. Hux smiled, taking your hand and leading you to the couch to sit. He offered you the wine and you gladly accepted it. He handed you the glass before filling his own and relaxing into the couch on the other side of you. 

“I wanted to make you feel comfortable, as I feel that you still do have some apprehension about our...” He hesitated as if he didn’t want to say ‘relationship’ just yet. You nodded, letting him know that you understood what he was trying to say. He smiled a silent thanks. “I wanted you to feel more comfortable around me in a non-professional situation.” You smirked at how, despite his words, he sounded very professional. 

“I appreciate that, sir. I’ve never... no one has ever done this for me before.” You said after a moment and he looked at you in confusion. If you didn’t know any better, he almost looked like he was offended on your behalf. 

“You’ve never had someone spend an evening with you?” You shook your head shyly and he scoffed. “Well then obviously there is something wrong with the current generation of men is blind to not have taken the first chance they could to ask you on a date.” He spoke, almost wrathfully as he took a drink of his wine. Your heart bloomed with heat at his words and you took a drink to keep the burning heat from your eyes. 

You and Hux spoke about nothing and everything for a long time, when you finished your first glass of wine, Hux poured you another without a second thought, and you drank that one as well. Now, your glass sat empty on the table, and your now bootless feet were propped up on Hux’s lap, his large warm hand resting on your shins, his right arm on the back of the couch supporting his head as he looked at you. 

The two of you had removed your coats sometime between the first and second glasses of wine, so now you sat with your black undershirt, and he with his white one. Without his general rank so prominently on display, you felt yourself relaxing more into him just being a man. You had also removed your bun at some point, letting your scalp have a break from the tight regulation hairstyle. 

Any outsider would have looked at you and simply saw two lovers spending time with each other after a long day. You debated telling Hux about what Kylo had said, but the choice was made for you when the conversation died down, and Hux looked at you with a hunger in his eyes. He moved over you, pressing you back against the raised arm of the chair, and fitting himself between your legs. 

Hux’s arms held him above you, and the knee closest to the edge of the couch moved, his foot planting him on the ground. The position had your core pressed up against him, his warm body providing the pressure you wanted so desperately through your day. Your eyes locked, the two of you just taking the time to look at each other, now that you weren’t in any rush. Hux’s head dipped low, kissing you gently, almost hesitantly as if he was unsure, but when you returned it, chasing his lips as he began to pull away, he pressed more fiercely to you, your mouths moving over one another clumsily. 

Hux’s hips bucked against yours and you let out a quiet moan of appreciation. Hux smirked and did it again, your hands drifting up to his shirt and began pulling it up out of his pants to allow you access to the buttons. You began undoing them, as Hux dragged his hips against yours, causing your hands to stutter as you felt the wave of pleasure run through you. As you worked on getting his shirt off of him, he worked on pulling off your pants. 

As he slid them down, you lifted your hips to help him get the pants over the curve of your ass, but the motion pressed you up into his hips where a bulge was forming. He groaned softly at the contact, his hands gripping your ass in his hands tightly, keeping you against him for a moment longer. Your hands slid up his body to push his shirt from his shoulders, which he then allowed to fall onto the couch behind him, along with your pants. 

The removal of a layer between you made the friction of his hips connecting with yours that much more enjoyable. One rut of his hips hit a wonderful spot and you moaned out loudly, arching up to press your body against his, your hands dragging on his upper arms. Hux’s hands moved quicker against your body at that, his fingers easily opening your shirt with a single tug, some of the buttons flying off as he did. You pulled away, voicing your -albeit half hearted- frustration at his actions but he silenced you by cupping your breasts through your undershirt and bra. 

You hissed at the contact, arching into his touch eagerly. Hux pulled away at that moment, lifting his own undershirt from his body, then he bent back down and looped his hands under you, lifting your body up as if you weighed nothing. Contrary to popular belief, the general had a strength about him that was hidden by his uniform. It wasn’t obvious as he seemed like he was scrawny, but he surprised you with his lean strength. His muscles were not defined as they would be on someone who purposefully worked on making themselves bigger, but they were defined as if the muscles were used regularly. 

You wrapped your legs around him when he lifted you, supporting yourself despite his strong hold. Hux stood, you still in his arms and walked you to his bedroom, the door opening as you walked close to it. He then dropped you onto his bed and you giggled excitedly. Hux crawled over you on the black and grey sheets, silencing your laughter with a kiss as he resituated himself between your legs. When he pulled away, you stared up at him in awe, the dim light from the bedside light lit up the left of his face, the shadows cast from his sharp features looked like they could cut you. 

 

He seemed to be watching you just the same. His strong arms held him above you, your hair splayed out on the bed curled around his fingers softly. Hux looked at you reverently, and you shifted under his gaze, suddenly his attention made you self conscious. Your legs clenched around his hips, anxiously and he glanced down at them, his face returning to yours. Seeing your discomfort, Hux sat up, his hands resting on your knees to push them apart releasing some of the pressure on his poor hips. 

You dropped your knees, your feet resting on the bed again. “What’s wrong?” He asked, and you didn’t feel like he was angry with you, he was really trying to make you comfortable. He hummed again when you didn’t answer, his hands smoothing down your thighs comfortingly. 

You clenched the sheets under you nervously, worrying your lip between your teeth. “Just... the way you look at me.” He shook his head, not understanding what you were saying. “You look at me like I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.” He took a breath, now getting what you meant, his eyes slipping closed. Hux’s hands drifted from your legs back down to the bed, then slid to your hands entwining your fingers, then sliding up again and pressing them into the sheets by your head. 

“Why is that so hard to believe?” He asked, the pressure on your hands a comforting and grounding feeling. You shifted again, as he stared down at you. He took a moment, dipping his head to kiss along your neck, returning to the spot he had found in the greenhouse. Your eyes slid to your arm, eyes tracing along the burns there. The cream they had given you had dampened the look of the scars, but they were still light white lines tracing through your skin. It wasn’t the worst of it, but you supposed Hux got the point. 

Lovely, warm, and gentle Hux was gone and soon you were being pulled up off the bed as he pulled off your undershirt and tossing it to the side. Hux then pushed you back onto the bed, a hand tangling in your hair. You hissed in pain at the sharp tug he gave, your legs clamping around his hips again. He again pulled them off of him, and instead straddled your hips, his feet holding your legs to the bed. “Do you believe yourself ugly for these scars?” He snapped, you didn’t want to answer him, but you remembered his warning from his office and squeaked out a weak ‘Yes General’. 

Hux’s free hand moved to the clasp in your bandages, and your hands shot up, gripping his wrist tightly as you quietly pleaded with him to leave them be. His hand left your hair and pulled your hands off of his arm, giving you a look that had your hands returning to fist in the sheets below you. He pulled of the first clasp, but when he realized the amount of layers that was before him, he reached into his bedside table, pressing on what must have been a secret lever, because a knife popped out.

You stiffened when the knife was brought to your lower belly. He pressed the knife flat between your skin and the bandage, then turned it, the sharp edge of the knife meeting the linen and splitting it easily. The knife was incredibly sharp, and it cut through the many layers easily. The smell of Bacta hit your nose as Hux pulled on one edge of the bandage and slipped it out from under you. Hux’s hand then returned to your side and you had to fight moving away as his fingers traced along the burns that crossed your abdomen, meeting along the edge of your body before exploding into the burn site. 

You turned your head away, shameful tears building in your eyes. Hux allowed this, his hands skimming along your body until they came to rest on your rib cage, just below your breasts. You turned to look at him, but instead of the disgust you were expecting, you found that he was looking at you the way he had before, only this time he looked at you with hunger in his eyes. “You, earned these scars. This was not some work accident in the boiler room of a ship. This,” he leaned down and kissed your scar, his lips hovering there for a moment.

He remembered himself, sitting up to finish what he was saying. “This, was _Earned_ , during a battle, where you saved not only the lives of your fellow officers, but the lives of those living in the village that could have been killed by the reckless actions of the Resistance, you also saved the life of your General.” He kissed your lips this time, one hand leaving your rib to cup your face. “You do know that, do you not? You saved my life as well (Y/n).” He breathed when he pulled away. 

Without warning, a sob bubbled up from your chest and your arms shot up to pull him to you. He pressed down against you, his weight pressing another shaking breath from your lungs. He held you for a long moment, letting the emotions run through you. You hadn’t realized that you had been carrying so much guilt on your shoulders. But his words seemed to let you release some of it long enough to breathe again. 

You pulled away first, and Hux pushed himself up onto his elbows, still having as much contact between your half naked bodies. You could feel Hux’s breath on your stomach, and it was like the air he was breathing was giving you life just as much as it was giving him. “General Hux, sir. Can...” You took a breath stealing your nerves. “I don’t want you to fuck me.” You said finally. He looked at you curiously. Here you were half naked under him, and the two of you had spent nearly half an hour dry humping on his couch. He pushed up onto his hands, moving to get off of you, but you giggled and gripped his belt, keeping you above him.   
“I don’t want to fuck. I want... I want this to be... something else.” You didn’t quite know what exactly you were getting at, but you knew that it was conveyed to Hux because he nodded, kissing you sweetly. You used your grip on his belt to open it, sliding it through the loops as he continued to kiss you, your hands then cupped along his lower back and slid your hands down over the globe of his ass, pushing his pants down. He sat up, sliding them the rest of the way off. You, meanwhile reached behind you to unclipped your bra and tossed it to the side. Hux’s eyes never left yours until you freed your breasts. He didn’t let his eyes remain for an obscene amount of time, but when he knelt above you with just his boxers on him, you did stare. 

You let your hands trail along the curves of his muscles, your eyes following them as the traced along the V of his hips and along his waistband. His skin twitched under your fingers and your eyes trailed lower to see the outline of his cock in his underwear. You felt your core clench and let out a needy whimper at the sight. Hux smirked, his hands trailing down your sides to your panties as well. Both of you pulled away and slid off your last layer of covering. 

Hux then reached under you and slipped the sheets out from under you. He crawled over you and then flipped the sheets to cover the both of you. You hadn’t noticed that you had started to shiver from the cold air of the star destroyer, but Hux had. You smiled up at him, kissing him softly in thanks which he returned. “I want this to be slow. I want to enjoy it.” You whispered quietly and Hux dipped his head down and kissed your neck adjusting his position so that he was again between your legs. 

You felt your legs drop open to allow him entry and his hands returned to your body. His left hand dragged down your stomach, the light scratch of his nails had you moaning in delight and arching into his chest. It then moved between you to run along the folds of your core. You bit your lip at the feeling and Hux let out a low hum in approval. He dipped his finger into your entrance and you bucked up into his hand. “P-Please, No more teasing.” You begged, the pressure and want building in you driving you crazy with need. Hux chuckled and pressed his lips to your as he replaced his fingers with his member. 

You held your breath in anticipation as Hux used his hand to guide him into your entrance. He slowly thrust in, letting out his own breath as his head dropped to your shoulder. He braced his elbows on the bed, and you gripped his hands to steady yourself. 

When he was fully set into you, he paused, the both of you panting out, the tension that had been building for the last week finally being sated. Hux didn’t move for a few seconds, but it was too long for you. You bucked your hips tightening your grip on his hands. He groaned, his own hands squeezing yours as he lifted his head from your shoulder to look at you again. “Stars you’re gorgeous.” He panted, his lips latching onto your neck again. He trailed to the spot on your neck that made you gasp, and as he did, he pulled out and thrust back into you. The double movement had your breath catching in your throat, then pressing out in a stuttering moan. 

You felt him smirk against your skin and you pushed out a bitter laugh. “That was a cheap move.” You chided between pants and Hux simply thrust into you again in response. You began to meet his thrusts, and soon the two of you were panting and letting out gentle moans every now and then. Above you, Hux’s eyes locked onto yours as his ragged breaths warmed your ear. You had never heard a more wonderful sound than when he moaned loudly, forehead pressed to your chest at a particularly deep thrust. 

You felt the pressure building in your core too soon and you released one of his hands to drag your nails down his back. He groaned again, nipping your breast in retaliation. You bucked against him and moaned, taking a breath you turned your lips to his ear, not trusting your voice to speak loud enough to hear over the sounds in the room. “I... I’m... I’m gonna.” He moaned out again, letting his hand drift between the two of you to rub his thumb over your clit in time with his thrusts. You moaned lowly once, but then as he continued to thrust into you, the moan gained pitch until you were scraping along his back again and you were clenching around him tightly. He echoed your moan, and you forced your eyes to open to watch his face as he came undone. You were not disappointed, his eyes closed, then tightened as his face screwed up. As you felt his warmth within you, he bared his teeth and thrust once more before his eyes opened. 

The both of you sat panting for a moment until the both of you wrapped your arms around each other to pull in for a heated kiss. You stayed like that for a moment and Hux began to soften in you. He pulled out and you felt heat rise to your cheeks at the mix of your juices leaking onto the sheets. Hux got up, then and moved to the refresher in his chambers and returned with a warm cloth. He cleaned you, and then himself. He then crawled back into bed and pulled you to his chest. You looked at the clock on his table and saw that it was past midnight. You gasped, and moved to get up but Hux’s arms tightened around you. 

“Stay.” He said quietly. You stared at him in shock. You knew this wasn’t a one time thing between the two of you, but you were still amazed that he wanted you to stay the night with him. You both had to report at the same time, but if anyone saw you leave his quarters the next morning. You shook your head in reply. 

“I... I can’t. What will people think.” You asked, trying to free yourself from his grip. He simply rolled over you, pinning you under him. 

“That wasn’t a request.” He said with a small smirk and you sighed, rolling your eyes for added effect. 

“Yes sir.” You said sarcastically as he rolled off of you and onto his back, pulling you half over his chest. A sudden smack filled the room as his hand collided with your ass and you squeaked in surprise, glaring up at him. He chuckled, smoothing his hand over where he had smacked. You rolled your eyes and then rested your head on his chest. Hux’s hand began absently stroking along your arm, and soon the gentle touch had you fading into sleep. You may have dreamed it, but you could have sworn you felt him kiss your head.


	7. Chapter 7

You woke up to a loud purring and a pressure on your chest. Slowly opening your eyes you were met with the yellow ones of a large, fluffy tabby cat. You stared in confusion at each other and the cat let out a loud meow and you jumped. The cat leapt off you and pattered to the refresher door, pawing at it. You sat up in bed, pulling the covers up to your chest to hide your naked body as the door opened, and Hux walked out now in his uniform. With his rank back on display, you felt self-conscious again, and you pulled the blankets tighter against you. 

Hux watched you as he adjusted his cufflinks, the cat swirling around his ankles and purring. He glanced down at the creature then back at your face. “I see you’ve met Millicent.” He said with a small laugh, as he bent to pet the cat’s head as it climbed up his leg slightly. Once satisfied, the cat sauntered away back into the main living area. 

The rumours were true. The hardened general of the First Order, had a kriffing cat. You nodded, watching the animal leave before Hux walked over to you and sat next to you on the bed. He smiled at you, and you returned it, his hand coming to cup your face. He kissed you gently and you returned it happily, letting the covers fall from your hands in exchange for gripping his uniform top as the kiss deepened. Hux pushed you onto your back but pulled away a few moments later, your chest red and heaving under him. “As much as I would love to take you again, we have a meeting to make.” He sat back up and you smirked at the obvious bulge in his pants. He didn’t see your face, so he continued his statement. 

“The sweep of the planets has come up with something, and Colonel Vargus has come up with a plan of attack.” He turned to you and shook his head, his equivalent of rolling eyes. “Or so he says.” It was common knowledge that Colonel Vargus was one of the few men in the intelligence team that wouldn’t know a working end of a blaster if it came down to it, but he was also one of the few men who knew how to use the old Empire scanners. 

You swung your legs out from under the covers as he turned his back and smiled when you saw your uniform had been cleaned and steamed by a service droid in the night, and was sitting on the end of the bed. Hux worked on his hair in the mirror hanging within his wardrobe as you began dressing. You first put on your underwear, your eyes taking in the scars on your body. You didn’t need to cover them any longer, in fact, you really didn’t have to keep covering it after the first day back home, but after last night you realised that it wasn’t necessary like you felt it was, instead the bandages were a way for you to cover them out of shame. You picked up the bandages as you thought, then put them down. 

You slid your undershirt over your head and turned, eyes locking with Hux’s in the mirror. He had a soft smile on his face, and when he saw you looking at him he nodded in approval before shutting the cabinet, and making his way into the living area. His hand ghosted over your hip as he passed you and you felt goosebumps on your back as he did. He left you to finish getting dressed on your own and when you finished you followed him. 

When you entered the living room, Hux was pouring two cups of caff, and there were two sets of trays for food. He was picking at one of them, his face already stuck into a Datapad. You shook your head and laughed, sliding into a seat by the island, pulling one of the trays towards you to tuck into it. Hux looked up and the corner of his mouth quirked and you-mouth full of eggs- quirked an eyebrow at him. He put his mug down and walked around to stand behind you. You followed him, but his hand landed on the top of your head and turned it around forward. You sat still as he pulled out the bun you had made and let your hair flow over your shoulders again. 

“You would think, that,” He paused, running his hands through your hair, his nails scraping over your scalp. It took everything you could not to drop your head back into his chest and moan in happiness. “A major of my army. Would know,” He pulled the hair from the base of your neck and on the sides into a tight ponytail, and you hissed when he purposefully pulled a little too hard. You could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he finished. “How to properly place a bun on their head.” The bun he created sat more to the middle of your head, and he hadn’t used a single bobby pin to hold in the fly aways. You grumbled out a quick thanks and he raised an eyebrow, pinching your side. 

You corrected yourself, thanking him properly and he kissed the side of your cheek before returning to his work. The two of you sat for a moment, enjoying the silence, but a report popped up on your screen from the console you had worked on the day before. It was worked, which was great, but there was a problem further down the line. You swore under your breath, causing Hux to look up in question. The schematics of the entire ship flew up on your screen, and you stared at it, trying to find the problem, but it was not forthcoming. Hux’s datapad pinged and he pressed the power button on yours to gain your attention. 

You glared at him but he simply picked up his datapad and tucked it away in his coat, turning over his shoulder to look back at you. You sighed, taking your own datapad in your hands and following him out. As soon as you left the safety of his Quarters, The General returned. Your uneasiness returned with him, and you gave a bit more space between the two of you as you struggled to keep pace with his long strides. 

Hux lead you to the same meeting room from before, and the two colonels from before were already in the room. They snapped to attention and Hux waved them off, taking his seat, and you yours. Colonel Vargus stood at that point, moving to the front of the room as the Other Colonel, Colonel Blackcreek set up the projection. One planet popped into view and then a red dot with a Resistance symbol tag blinked on the far side of it. “This is the Resistance outpost that the fighters that attacked you came from. It is a small outpost, most likely used for these small, short range pointed attacks. A reconnaissance mission to the site came back with the reports that it is not a permanent base, and it seems to only have a small squadron of ten fighters.” 

The projection zoomed in on the base, a Recon-Tie video showed the small outpost in action, You sat forward when you saw the Fighters from the attack, blood already boiling. Hux sensed this and placed his hand on your knee imperceptibly under the table. “So, you say you have a plan of attack.” He said, eyes focusing on the colonel, who shifted uncomfortably. You had been on the other side of that look, the expectant and also challenging look of the General when he was not fully trusting of your capabilities. Colonel Blackcreek stood at this point and changed places with Vargus. The older man sat gratefully, while his younger counterpart changed the slide. 

“Actually General, that is where I come in. Since the outpost is so small, it would only be a waste of resources to strike. Instead, I believe that this could actually be an invaluable chance to send in a spy, as a mole. The Resistance is willing to accept anyone who supports the cause so long as they have something to offer. If we send someone in, have them pose as a mole, we could find their General Organa, and we could strike their main base.” The Colonel became more excited as he spoke, explaining his plan and the statistics of who they could send within the intelligence sector. Hux listened intently, but all you could do was stare at the base now on screen. 

“Send me.” You spoke before you could stop yourself, and every eye in the room turned to you, Hux’s eyes were furious but you sat up to explain your side. “I understand that it could be dangerous, but these people attacked my _home_ , they attacked my _people_ , if I could take these people down, from the inside.” You allowed the silence to finish your thought for you, but Hux shook his head angrily.

“Not a chance, Major. You are too close to this, and you have no idea how to conduct a mission of this caliber, I won't accept it.” You turned to look at the colonels, hoping they will understand your point of view. They looked away from you to busy themselves with work. 

“Sir, you want to keep this mission as small as possible, its one of the only ways that we can do that, while also making sure that the mission is done correctly. I’m a low enough rank that I won’t ring any alarm bells, and I’m not a spy, so I won’t act like one.” You explained again, trying to will the colonels to agree with you with your mind. Of course, they didn’t obey your commands, you could have smacked them. Hux stood at that point, standing over you as he spoke, trying to gain the high ground over you. 

“I will not repeat myself. We are going to send in a trained spy, and that is final.” You stood up to stare him down, an action which did cause the colonels to look up. The tension was heavy in the room as you glared the general down. 

“Sir, all due respect, but I believe she may have a point.” Blackcreek spoke, breaking the silence. Hux slowly turned to glare at him, but the young colonel didn’t back down. “It would take too long to get the candidates up to speed on the mission, evidence already suggests that the base is preparing to dismantle. This may be our only chance to catch them off guard. If we are going to move, we need to move now.” Blackcreek stared back at the General whose hands were shaking with barely contained rage.   
Finally he relented, taking a breath and letting it out slowly. He nodded once, and the colonels stood to begin preparing. You felt your heart beating wildly in your chest, your excitement causing a smile to break out onto your face, but it quickly fell when Hux turned back to you. When the last colonel left, Hux’s arm swung out and his hand caught on your chest, pushing you back against the wall. All air left your lungs and you coughed to regain it, his hand sliding up to cup your neck, the slight pressure warning that he could cut off that air supply at any second. 

“I don’t think I need to tell you I am furious with you right now.” He growled and you swallowed thickly at how his voice sounded like a monster, and his eyes burned with rage. You stayed silent, not trusting your words to not put you in a worse position. “I am confident that you can complete this mission, and make it back alive.” The words surprised you, and you almost voiced how you were confused of his anger, but the look in his eyes changed, and you realized that it wasn’t rage in his eyes, but fear. You lifted a hand from where they had clamped around his wrist subconsciously, and rested it on the side of his face. He blinked in surprise at you, and you smiled, letting the nerves you felt show him that he was not alone in the fear. 

“I know you can make it back alive.” He said again and you took a breath to speak. 

“But?” You said quietly, and he almost looked startled by your question, like he wasn’t expecting you to see through him. 

“But I do not trust those animals not to kill you if you make even the smallest mistake.” He said quietly. You brushed a hair out of his face, accepting his worry. His hand dropped from your neck and instead pulled you close to him. You wrapped your arms around him and let him hold you tightly. 

You now understood his anger. He had only just got you, and now he was risking losing you. It was nice to have someone as powerful as the general let his emotions get in the way. But it was frustrating. You knew that you were the best choice, the colonels did as well. As far as you knew, the only ones who knew about the attack were those who were there, and the small group of intelligence officers tasked with finding the base, but even then, it was very possible that they didn’t know why they were looking at scrap heaps of planets. 

Involving more people meant that more people had to know about the situation, and that meant more risk of a mole hearing about the plan. You were the best choice, you knew the situation inside and out, and with your new training from Commander Ren, you had abilities that the general didn’t know about. You pulled away from Hux, and he let you go reluctantly. 

“I’ll kill them before they even get the chance.” You said honestly, and Hux’s eyes bore into yours before he slammed his lips against yours and gripped at your body tightly. You let out a muffled protest of pain but he ignored it pushing you against the wall like it was the last time he would kiss you. _It very well might be._ You thought, but you quickly pushed that out of your mind and kissed him back. A beep on your communicators had him pulling away. It was colonel Vargus calling to inform you that the mission was a go and that you were leaving within the hour. The cover story you needed to remember was also being sent to your datapad. The screen lit up with that very information, and you moved away from between Hux and the wall to read it. Hux came behind you, pressing your back to his front as he read over your shoulder. You allowed him the desperate grasp for contact as you opened the file. 

The plan was to have you claim to have defected from the Order. You were carrying classified information that you were planning on giving to the Resistance, but it was to go to directly to General Organa or no one. You were to have a bounty, but you were to be brought in alive. The rest of the Order, and the galaxy would think you a traitor, only a few would know the truth. It would be crucial that the Resistance see you defect, to show you weren’t just a spy, so yourself, Commander Ren, and the General would be landing on the planet separately. First step would be staging you stealing a Tie-Fighter and escaping to the planet. You would (crash) land first, followed closely by commander Ren in his Tie-slicer , and in the main city, you would cause a scene. “Cause a Scene?” Hux said with a scoff. “Obviously this very detailed plan is courtesy of Colonel Vargus.” You giggled at his disdain and turned in his arms to look up at him. He was still scanning the datapad, but soon turned his attention to you when your lips met his neck. 

Hux rested his hands on your hips, and tilted his head - much to your surprise- to allow you more room. Biting your lip, you guided him back into a chair and followed him onto it, straddling his waist as you continued to nip and kiss his neck. He kept his grip on your hips, using his thumb to dig into the flesh there and rub circles. Under you, you felt his cock twitch in his lap, starting to fill with blood as you unbuttoned his jacket and slid the zipper down his front. With the coat open, you could reach more of his neck, and you did, sliding down until you felt his breath hitch and his grip tighten. Then you latched onto that spot, dragging your teeth over it and nipping it. Your hips also began to gently rock against his of their own volition. Hux groaned, and you swore you had never heard a better sound. You let your hands trail down his chest, and unbuckled his belt. 

The hands on your hips slid down to cup your ass, keeping your rhythm as you undid his fly and pulled his cock up through the gap between you. His breath stuttered as you began to stroke him slowly, lips kissing up his neck to his face. His eyes opened at that point and your own breath caught at the black covering his whole iris. His lips met yours violently and you whimpered at the pain of his teeth clashing with yours, but you pressed against him all the same. 

Hux’s hands then left your ass and met the waistband of your trousers, pulling them down and pulling everything under them with it. The raw possessive strength he was showing had a flood of slick rush out of you and a moan escaping into his mouth. With your pants far enough down that he had the room to stick his hand between your legs, he did, one of his fingers entering you. You clenched around it, and his hips as you instinctively tried to close your legs at the intrusion. He simply began to pump his gloved hand slowly, the seams of the leather scraping deliciously inside your walls and along your clit. He added a second finger, and you thanked him by stroking him a bit faster. 

You both pulled away for air, but you rested your forehead on Hux’s and stared into each others eyes as you rode his hand. The tightness in your core began to come loose and Hux felt the beginning fluttering of your walls and inserted another finger, curling them forward and pressing against the rough patch on your front wall. You cried out, eyes slipping closed as you came over his hand. He growled out a low ‘good girl’, before moving you forward and lowering you onto his hard member. You felt your walls spasm on his cock and whimpered as the aftershocks of your orgasm now had something more substantial to clench around. 

He seated himself within you and spared no time before thrusting up into you. You recovered for a few more thrusts before you began to help him, lifting yourself and then slamming back down onto him. “Fuck! Hux.” You whined loudly and his hand came to clamp over your mouth. His eyes slid to the door, and the sudden darkness in the room and then the light informing you that someone had just passed. 

“Careful, (L/n). Wouldn’t want someone to walk in here and see you fucking the general now would you?” He whispered into your ear, releasing your mouth to thumb a circle around your clit. You groaned, throwing your head back to pant into the air, before connecting your eyes with his and smirking. He returned it, suddenly lifting you off of him and turning you to press against the table his hand reaching to pin your hands behind your back with one large palm. He re-entered you, the new position allowing the head of his cock to brush against that bundle of nerves, the friction from his pants on your ass making your moan in response. “Oh you would, would you? I bet you want me to fuck you out on the bridge too don’t you? Want all of those officers to watch as make you mine.” You moaned again, your breath causing a little cloud to appear on the durasteel table top. 

“Yes, General.” You panted out, eyes fluttering closed at a particularly deep thrust. 

The laugh that left Hux’s chest had you clenching around him tightly. “I’ll make you a deal, my little exibitionist. You bring me the Resistance, and I’ll fuck you in front of the entire First Order. Right up on that stage.” You let out a low moan at his words, knowing that they were not just dirty words, they were a promise. “Will you do that for me?” He asked again, and you felt yourself nearing the edge. You nodded quickly, but he didn’t accept that, instead he stopped thrusting all together and pulled out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear that.” He taunted and you nearly wanted to cry. 

“Fuck! Yes! Yes, General Hux.” You wanted to scream at him, but the very real fear of being discovered had you lowering the volume slightly. Only slightly. He pushed back into you and you clenched tightly, the motion bringing you to peak. He soon followed after you, his hand on your arms dropping to catch him over you. 

He pulled out, and you heard him tut. “My my my, look at the mess you made.” He said, his voice low. You turned to look at him weakly and he pointed to the ground in front of him. “Clean it up.” He ordered easily, and you turned pink at the implications. You obeyed, dropping to your knees at his feet and taking his cock into your mouth. 

Your nose scrunched at the taste of your mixed release, but the smell of him invading your senses made you groan. You cleaned him off, his cock slowly starting to soften in your mouth, but every so often he would groan and it would twitch in lazy gratification. When you were done, you stood and pressed your lips to his. His tongue invaded your mouth as he tasted himself on your lips. When he pulled away, the both of you quickly redressed, fixing your uniforms as if nothing had happened. 

“Promise me you will come back to me.” Hux said as he grabbed you and pulled you against him. 

You adjusted the rank on his sleeve, kissing the First Order insignia as you did. “As long as I have you to watch over me, there is no one that can hurt me.” You said and his jaw clenched. 

With that hanging between you, you left the room and made your way to the hangar where a shuttle was waiting. The command shuttle was not only down two pilots, but it was also damaged due to the rewiring you had to do, and the fact that you had been one hell of an insulator in the engine. The computer had basically died, and it was taking a hell of a lot of man hours to fix it. You watched as Commander Ren was already boarding his ship under the guise of a mission from the Supreme Leader. You would fly a wrecked Tie to the planet, and “crash” outside the main city, hopefully drawing attention from the Resistance

Said wrecked Tie was waiting for you by the hangar door, this is where the charade began. You glanced to Hux and he nodded, pulling his blaster from it’s position on his side, and pulling off his glove for the finger scanner to work. He set it to stun, and you took off. People stared as you ran past, and then all Hell broke loose. The first shot barely missed you, heat radiating from the burn as it skimmed your shoulder. 

You knew Hux would never hit you, but to hell if you were terrified as your legs picked up speed. “I order you to stop!” Hux roared, all heads turning to him, and then you. You were almost to the Tie-Fighter when blaster bolts landed dangerously close to your heels. “I want her _Alive!_ ” Hux yelled and suddenly the Red bolts changed to blue. It didn’t matter at that point because you climbed quickly into the ship and to your surprise it was already started. Instinct had you looking out the port holes and connecting with the mask of Commander Ren from the top of his ship. He must have started it with the force. 

Troopers were starting to get too close, so you quickly took off. The Fighter was definitely wrecked, but flyable. Speeding away from the ship, you turned on the scanners and behind you the Slicer was gaining on you. _I am going to fire, it is going to hit you. It will disable you, but you will be able to make it to the planet surface. Eject when I tell you._ Ren’s voice filled your head and you felt fear tighten in your chest. Like Hux, you trusted Ren not to kill you, but it was still terrifying when the blast hit the side of your ship and rocked it. You let yourself scream but calmed your breathing enough to guide the destroyed ship to the surface. The population scanner on your dashboard blinked, alerting you that you were headed straight for the main city as you broke atmosphere. Fire engulfed the front of your ship as it began to shake with entry. 

Your arms cramped as you struggled to hold it steady. Ren’s voice filled your head again, giving the order to eject, and you did, gasping as you were launched from the ship and into the air. You began breathing heavily, desperately trying not to pass out when your parachute deployed and you instinctively gripped the ropes. Before you knew it, you were on the ground, and then you were running. 

The people stared in confusion as you ran, but then began screaming and running as the Tie-Slicer flew over you, sending a few blasts your way as it passed. You ducked as if it would do any good and then ran into an alleyway. The Slicer screamed overhead again, and you looked around the corner as it landed directly in the middle of the town. Those who knew ran away from the ship, and those who didn’t did when they saw it’s pilot. _Well, they wanted a scene._ You thought to yourself as you pretended to hide in your place. 

Ren exited the ship and stalked up to the poor soul who had been unlucky enough to be in his line of sight. The man obviously didn’t reply to Kylo’s question fast enough because his saber was ignited and held to the man’s throat. The man pointed in a random direction, and Kylo dropped him. It was at this point that the Radio signals in all of the shops around you played the First Order Anthem, signalling a major transmission. “Attention citizens of the Galactic Empire,” Your breath caught as you heard Hux’s voice. You had been away from him for only seconds, but you missed him already. “This transmission is to inform you of a disgraced officer of the First Order. Major (Y/n) (L/n), has defected her duties as an officer and therefore is an enemy of the state. Reward for her, alive is 1 million credits. There is no reward for her return if she is dead. Your cooperation is appreciated, long live the Supreme Leader.” The Anthem played again and suddenly the silence of the city was deafening, and then it was broken as people flooded the streets to search for you.

A hand landed on you and you jumped, ready to strike out at whoever had grabbed you, but you were met with a Resistance fighter. You glared at him, but remembered your mission and you stared at him wide eyed. “You might want to come with me.” He flashed a bright smile and his tanned skin lit up with it. You grabbed his outstretched hand and ran with him through the buildings away from the square. You felt the fingers of Kylo’s force signature prod at your mind and you allowed him in. _We will be waiting your transmission._ He spoke and you turned your head back to look at the scrambling crowd. You couldn’t see him, but your eyes locked on the shape of the Tie-slicer returning to the _Finalizer_ , the looming shape of which hanging just outside of the atmosphere. You stared in awe at the ship you called home, the sight of it from a planet struck fear in your heart, even if you were on it’s side. 

Just as your lungs began to burn with effort, the base came into view and you watched as a transport was being loaded, and people were running around scrambling to get off planet. “You got your choice sweetheart, stay here and risk being discovered, or come with us, and we can get you somewhere the First Order won’t find you.” You were almost dumbfounded at how smoothly this was going. Did they really trust this easily? You found yourself nodding, hoping your face was looking more like someone in shock and not like someone who was lying straight to their face. The man smiled that smile again and stuck out a hand. “Name’s Poe, Poe Dameron.” As he spoke, Tie-Fighters screamed overhead and you both stared as they passed. “Introductions are going to have to wait. Get on the transport!” He called as he began to run toward an X-wing. Your blood began to boil at the sight of the ship, your memory recalling it as the lead fighter that attacked you. 

The fighters made another pass, and began firing, so you ran to the transport, the door closing after you, and then the ship took off. The other men in the transport stared at you, eyes wide. All at once they drew their weapons and you raised your hands. One fired a stun shot, and then your mind was blank. 

Before your eyes, a scene began to play, Kylo was interrogating the man named Poe. You couldn’t hear anything, but you could feel the force being used. Then all at once it stopped and you saw Hux again. Your heart reached for him, but a jostling woke you,and your eyes opened the the ship landing. You tried to stretch, but your wrists and ankles were tied together. You began to panic at your unknown surroundings, but when you saw Poe, you calmed, remembering where you were. 

Sitting up, you glared at him as he boarded the ship, hands up in a defensive shrug of his shoulders. “Sorry, I guess I forgot to give the guys the memo.” He said sheepishly, his hand coming to rub the back of his neck. You glared at him, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Well, uhh, General wants to see you.” He said, as if that was something, which of course it was, but you wanted to play up the act. 

“After I talk to her, will you let me go?” You asked, pulling at your restraints. Poe looked at you confused. 

“You aren’t a prisoner here.” He said easily, you gave him a ‘really?’ look, as you lifted your bound legs and arms into view. “Oh, sorry.” He moved forward, cutting through the ropes and pulling them off of you, then offered you his hand. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” You hadn’t noticed your stomach growl, but he had. You didn’t know how long it had been since breakfast that morning with your general, but it felt like ages. 

On unsteady legs, you followed after him, squinting at the harsh light of the planet you were on. Around you, mountains climbed high into the mist covered sky. You stared in awe, most of the planets you visited were dry and arid, but this wonderfully humid planet had you sighing in relief. Not only was the air clean and non-filtered, like the stale air on the star destroyers, but it was real, and you could almost feel the honest to all, oxygen. Eyes were on you as you walked through the compound, your black singed first order uniform probably an eye sore. Some of them even stepped away in fear. If you weren’t living a lie you would have revelled in it. As you walked, a feeling grew in your chest. Kylo had taught you to recognize a force user’s signature, and you felt one that was similar to his, your eyes scanned the sky and the surrounding faces for his, but when you didn’t find him your face folded in confusion. 

The large metal doors opened for Poe, but when you stepped in, blasters were drawn and you shot your hands into the air, dropping to your knees as someone pressed the barrel of the weapon into your back. Poe spun on his heel calling for them to stop, but you were already being searched. Luckily, the only things you had on you was your blaster and your datapad, but when they placed it on the ground, you saw that the Datapad was disabled, General Hux’s access code flashing on the screen. You smiled to yourself but shouted in pain as someone “accidentally” kicked you too hard when kicking your legs apart. 

They ordered your hands to your head, and you complied, letting them search you without complaint. They took your blaster from you immediately and then flipped you onto your back to search you. When they deemed you safe, you were allowed to stand, and your blaster was handed to Poe, who then handed it back to you. You blinked in surprise and he shrugged. “If you were gonna shoot me, you would have done it already.” He said as if it was obvious. You nodded, and jumped out of the way as something beeped and rolled into you. 

Poe greeted the doid happily, and then motioned you along as he walked deeper into the compound. Unsurprisingly, people looked at you with distrust, and you returned it, your senses on high alert. You thought back to Commander Ren’s training, and steadied your mind, reaching out to try to find that signature that you had felt before. It was suddenly right in front of you and you stared in shock as the woman stood at the projection table turned to face you. Poe stood off to to the side, his droid next to him. “General Organa, this is.... I... I’m sorry, I didn’t... get your name.” He said sheepishly.

“Major (Y/n) (L/n), Ma’am.” You added the last bit as an afterthought, even though it burned in your mouth. She watched you, her eyes ancient and knowing as she took you in. _Can she feel my force signature? Does she know? Can she read my thoughts?_ Just in case, you threw up a protective wall, like Ren had taught you, and when you did, she smirked. General Organa extended a hand to you, and after a moment, you took it warily. 

“Call me Leia, none of that General Shit. I’m sure you’ve had enough of that where you come from.” You felt heat rise in your chest, and a bad taste coated your tongue, she motioned you over to a table and sat in a seat. You took the one opposite her and shifted uncomfortably as she watched you. “So, seems like you made quite a mess of yourself. 1 million credits? What have you got on them that has them so wrapped up in themselves.” You assumed she was talking about the Order. You had been briefed on some fake information to give them, but you decided that it was better to stick with something that was more believable, and true

You dipped your head, trying to look nervous and glancing around the room. Her brow furrowed and she leant forward. “I... I can...I can use the Force.” You said quietly, hoping your actual feelings about this came through enough for her to believe it. She stared at you for a moment. 

“The force, eh? I thought I felt that on you.” She tilted her head as she sat back in her seat. “So you ran away before they found out?” She supplied and you shook your head. 

“Commander Ren knows.” You said, glancing up to her as you spoke. To your surprise, he face twisted in an unknown pain. She then looked back at you sadly. 

“He does, does he. Well, I suppose you are safest here with us. If he’s looking for you. He’ll find you.” She stood after she spoke, walking away from you and down a hall. You turned to watch her in confusion and she-without looking back at you- motioned you to follow. You quickly obeyed, running to catch up with the older woman. 

Leia walked into a room, the small cramped area had a cot and a trunk, and not much else. You briefly feared that you were about to be locked in the room, but Leia simply bent and opened the trunk, and produced a tunic, pair of pants and a coat for you. She handed it to you and walked out of the room. “Come back to the control room when you’re done. We have a lot to talk about.” she called over her shoulder. You changed, but hid your datapad in between the trunk and the wall, and strapped your blaster to your leg. Your uniform was folded and placed under your bed, minus the boots, which you kept on. 

As you made your way back to the control room, you felt the tendrils of a force hand pulling at your mind. You stopped walking, and let down the walls to allow Kylo in. _Have you found it?_ He asked, his voice echoing as it always did, but it was much quieter, the distance making it hard to connect. You assumed the only way he was able to keep track of you was your unique signature and his sheer power. 

_Yes, Commander Ren, but I was knocked out, I don’t know where I am._ You responded, thinking the words instead of speaking them. 

Ren Hummed in your mind and you almost felt the vibration. _You are far, very far. Outer Rim if I had to guess._ You glanced around as he spoke, wondering if anyone else was able to hear him. 

_Can General Organa hear us?_ You voiced your nerves aloud, and you felt a wave of anger off of him at her name. 

_No, I do not sense her listening. You’ve done well, your walls were strong, almost strong enough to keep me out if I weren’t trying._ You swelled slightly at his praise, but deflated as he spoke again. _Hux has become quite irritable since you left._ You wanted to reach out to him, but you didn’t know his signature, or if he even had one, and you also didn’t know how to reach out to him at all. _I will let him know you are fine, but I will not be able to reach out to you often, this distance makes it so that connecting with you is difficult without help. And you are not strong enough to bolster the connection. Remember your mission, use the beacon on your datapad when the time is right._ And with that, his presence was gone. You felt drained from the encounter, but you had a job to do. 

You walked into the control room and smiled when you saw Poe dip his head at you. Leia looked up and extended the same courtesy. “Welcome, Major.” Leia said, and you felt yourself flush with insecurity. “We’ve just got a message from your friends.” She said with a smirk and you again felt uncomfortable. The projection began to play and you stared at a picture of yourself along with the reward listed under your name. It then listed your capabilities. Poe stepped closer and read your classifications and then looked to you in surprise. 

“You’re a pilot?” He asked, his eyes raise wide with shock. You furrowed your brow and nodded. “From the way you crashed that Tie, you wouldn’t be able to tell.” You realized he was teasing you and you scoffed, shoving his shoulder slightly. He laughed and you felt yourself relax. It was strange, these people were supposed to be enemies, yet they were treating you like a friend. You looked at Poe, who was staring at you with a bit of pride and you shifted away from him, staring at your hands to hide your anger. This man tried to kill you a week ago.

General Organa must have noticed your discomfort because she called your name, turning off the projection. “Where you from kid?” she asked, you answered her and she tilted her head. “Isn’t it close to a holiday for you folks?” You nodded but sighed. 

“I was celebrating, or I was going to, but things changed.” You heard Poe shift uncomfortably, and you figured he must have put two and two together. Leia questioned you, and you shook your head, willing tears to your eyes. “They... they made me.” You turned away, the false pain suddenly turning very real as you remembered the moments at your home. You were still so angry. “I killed family.” You whispered, “I lost them all.” You took a breath, and collected yourself, standing tall again and returning your face to a stoic block, just as the Order had taught you. Those who saw the exchange stared in uncomfortable silence, but Leia just nodded. 

“Poe, why don’t you take her up in an X-wing. Show her the ropes. If she’s gonna be with us, she’s gonna pull her weight.” Poe nodded and smiled down to you. 

“Might not be as fast as an X-wing. But you think you can fly it?” He taunted. You didn’t really feel like learning to fly the thing that nearly killed you, but you nodded anyway, letting your confidence shove down the anger. 

“I can fly anything.” You responded, earning a beaming smile from the pilot before you.


	8. Chapter 8

Poe spent the remainder of the daylight hours teaching you the basics of the X-wing, at the end of the night, you were flying on your own, and Poe flew beside you. You smiled widely, this being the first time you had actually flown in over a week. Poe flew next to you and waved, then he took off in another direction, you turned and followed him your smile grew wide as you watched his ship in front of you dip and swerve. You found your smile fading as you watched it, your mind taking you back to the day you were attacked, your burn began to sting and your thumb drifted over the controls to the firing mechanism as you watched his ship level off, but you stopped yourself. 

Something within you made you stop. It wasn’t just that you would compromise the mission, and possibly be killed, it was something deep within you. It was _Wrong_. Poe wasn’t attacking you, you weren’t on orders. But more than that, it felt like you would never forgive yourself. You had known the man for less than a day, but you still felt like you couldn’t just... kill him. Even if he was responsible for so much death on your planet. 

Your thumb moved away from the trigger and you sighed, dropping your head to the back of the seat as Poe’s voice crackled through your headset. _Alright hot shot, land on that plateau._ You glanced up and saw him pointing to a high mountain, he then took off and set his X-wing down, and you followed, landing beside him. 

The two of you hopped up out of the cockpits of your respective X-wings, and slid to the ground. Poe, who was more used to the action, was down in a few seconds, but you took slightly longer after getting caught on your way down. He jumped forward, gripping your sides to lift you enough for you to unhook your belt from the metal it was caught on. 

When Poe put you down however, he hovered just a bit too close for a bit too long. You cleared your throat and he took a step back, giving you back your space. He turned and looked out over the valley that the mountain overlooked, and you copied his movement, leaning against the leg of your ship. 

“So, First Order.” He said, and you scoffed quietly at the awkwardness of his tone. 

“So, Resistance.” You replied, using the same tone. He laughed, shaking his head. 

“Yea, Resistance.” He turned to look at you curiously. “Why would you come with me, aren’t you guys like, trained from birth to hate us?” He asked, honestly confused as to why you switched. 

You shook your head. “That’s stormtroopers. Officers, or at least most of them, choose to join. I joined about six years ago. I needed to get out of my house, away from my planet.” You pulled your coat around you tighter, the cold wind drawing the heat from your bones. 

“So why leave? Why would you defect?” You felt your defenses raise, but calmed them as you looked back to him. 

“Things were getting intense. I was injured, things started to happen, and I was getting a lot of attention from certain high ranking individuals that just...” You trailed off but Poe picked up the slack. 

“Like Kylo Ren.” He said quietly and you nodded. “Leia told me that I was to keep an eye on you, make sure that no one here gets antsy and tries to hurt you.” Your heart dropped at the implications that maybe the general didn’t trust you, but Poe seemed to think that everything was fine. 

“I don’t want to be a burden. Leia said that I needed to pull my weight, I want to do that. You are all risking your lives to protect me, when you don’t even know me.” You said, trying to change the conversation. 

Poe shrugged nodding his head toward the X-wing behind you. “You fly like that and you can be my wingman. I’m sure Leia would love to actually have someone fly with me. Most people are too scared to.” Your jaw dropped at the compliment. You had seen Poe fly, not only today but also during the attack. He was one hell of a pilot. 

“I... I’d be honoured.” You were, honestly, but the chance to also possibly lead the First Order to the lead pilot in the Resistance, it was something you couldn’t afford to risk. “Really, thank you Poe.” You said, letting your mouth break into a wide smile. He nodded, and turned his attention to the setting sun. “This is beautiful.” You said after a moment and he hummed in agreement. 

“One thing I always miss about D’Qar is it’s sunsets.” Poe speaks, but you feel your heart stutter. D’Qar? You were far from the _Finalizer_ alright. Your planet was on the other side of the galaxy pretty much from this place. You suddenly felt very alone, and your eyes scanned the sky almost hoping you would see the flagship of the First Order pop into view. It wasn’t forthcoming, and it was a dampening on your heart. 

As the last rays of light dropped over the horizon, Poe’s communicator in his X-wing went off. He climbed up easily into the ship, playing the message. _“Commander Dameron, return to base, the General has a mission for you.”_ A woman’s voice buzzed through the speakers and taking the cue you climbed into your ship as well. It was easier to get up than it was to get down, and in no time you were firing up the ship and following Poe back to base. 

When you landed, General Organa was waiting for you both. “Don’t bother getting comfortable Poe.” She called, her eyes sliding to you. You both climbed out of your ships and dropped to the ground, the older woman meeting you halfway. You moved around he to walk into the compound, but Poe’s hand caught your shoulder. 

“Where do you think you’re going, shouldn’t my wingman know what the mission we are flying is about to be?” Both you and General Organa whipped your eyes to stare at the tan man and he just smiled. 

“Wingman?” You both said at the same time. He did offer the position to you, but you didn’t think it would be effective immediately. 

“I thought I would die before I saw you choose a wingman, Poe Dameron.” General Organa said as she turned and motioned you both to follow her. Poe smirked and began following her, turning to grin at you before catching up with her. 

“Always trying to keep you on your toes General.” Poe joked, and she just scoffed, saying something along the lines of him causing her more gray hairs. You smiled at the relationship between the two, a bittersweet pang hitting your heart at how you missed your brother, and your family. Shaking your head to rid yourself of the feeling, you jogged to catch up with them, others moving in to check the ships and fuel them for what was looking like your immediate departure. 

You caught up with the pair as they stood around a holotable. “He says that he can give it to you, but that you have to be careful, there was already some disturbance he was feeling, and it was likely that the First Order already knows where he is.” The room went quiet as you walked in, all eyes turning to you. The irony of the previous conversation was not lost on you, but you ignored the tension and took your place beside Poe. 

“Do you know anything about a man named Lor San Tekka?” General Organa said, turning to you. You tilted your head, the name ringing a bell, but mostly from your time at home, and nothing during your time in the Order. 

“Childhood stories, but nothing from the Order. Or at least, Hux didn’t say anything.” You glanced around the room, connecting your eyes with people around the table to gauge reactions. 

“Do you know the General personally?” One of the men across the table from you asked innocently. You blushed and looked away, the few that caught the movement shifted uncomfortably, and thankfully Leia interjected. 

“It doesn’t matter. If we can get to Jakku before they can, we have the advantage.” She turned to you and Poe. “You two get some rest. You are airborne before sunrise.” You both nodded and walked down to the living quarters. 

Since your room was before Poe’s, he stopped and leaned against your doorway. You turned back to him and just watched him. If you weren’t with General Hux, you would have thought him attractive. He was suave and confident, and that smile was... You blinked in surprise when he stepped into the room and let the door close. You didn’t move when he stepped closer to you, and put his hands on your hips like he had before. 

When his lips connected with yours it was that same feeling you felt when you wanted to blast him out of the sky. This is wrong. You let him kiss you for a few moments, but then you pushed him away, and out into the hallway, slamming the door behind him. The lock slid closed and you let out a breath of relief. You heard Poe drop his forehead to the door and sigh. 

“(Y/n), I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You didn’t answer him, instead you held your breath, waiting for him to leave. He got the message and you heard him sulk away. This was yet another secret you couldn’t tell Hux. 

After you were sure he was gone, you moved away from the door and instead retrieved your datapad. The lock was still on, but you used a master key code and the datapad opened. You typed in a quick message to Hux, alerting him that you were headed to Jakku in the morning. You didn’t have to wait long for his response. 

_**See you soon. Don’t think I won’t make good on my promise.**_

You smiled, then closed the datapad and stowed it away, before climbing into the bed provided to get a few hours sleep. 

 

Your eyes opened to the same dream like feeling from before. Only this time, you weren’t in your dorms, but instead, you were out in a forest. Snow was falling all around you, and the ground was shaking much like it was before. There was no light, but something was telling you that it was the middle of the day. You didn’t feel fear because you knew it wasn’t real. You moved through it, like Ren had taught you and drifted between the trees. The sound of clashing sabers drew you to a clearing, and you stood in shock watching Ren fight.

The girl he was fighting was strong, and you could feel the power radiating off of her. It was a more concentrated version of that pull you felt that kept you from firing on Poe. You realized then that it was the Light. 

Your eyes slid back to Ren, and his signature was comforting, but there was an underlying sense of danger from his presence. The fight was violent, and even though you knew you weren’t there, the fear was real and you took a step back as he lashed out. The girl countered it, and suddenly Kylo was screaming in pain, and he was on the ground. She stood over him, and you feared she would drive the weapon through his chest, but the ground before her broke apart and pushed her away, separating the two of them. You turned away at that point, the sound of the command explosions and Tie-fighters screaming away had your eyes turning to the sky. Even through the pitch black, you could see the ships as they left the planet, and you were suddenly thrown back to your previous dream. 

It was easy to see now. _Starkiller_ was going to fail. And it was going to be because of the Resistance.

 

You woke the next morning to banging on your door. The sun had just barely started to rise, despite your exhaustion, you stood and made your way out into the main area, and then out to the landing strip. Poe was already waiting in his X-wing, General Organa was beside him, speaking in hushed tones. When she saw you, she moved away, and nodded as she passed. 

“You ready for this Hot Shot?” Poe joked, his smile gleaming. You didn’t return it, still conflicted over the events of the night before. He seemed to understand because he busied himself with getting ready to take off. 

You did the same, and soon enough, you were taking off and jumping to lightspeed. The planet you were headed to, Jakku was just close enough that if you used all of your fuel during lightspeed you could make it to the planet, then get refueled when you landed. Poe’s droid BB-8, or BB, was beeping away in the back of his ship, and you smiled when you caught a part of the conversation. Apparently the little droid was voicing it’s concern for the trip, to which Poe was brushing it off. The communicator that was bringing you the conversation crackled again with a communication from base. 

_“Remember you two, First Order will be crawling this space, keep your eyes open.”_ You felt the slightest bit guilty, knowing that the First Order was probably waiting on the other side of the system for you to send them another signal that you had landed on the planet, but you replied affirmative to the warning, just as the two of you dropped out of Lightspeed. 

The red planet filled your vision and you gasped at the beauty of it. The area you were about to land in was just minutes from darkness, and you quickly made your way to the surface, your fuel running dangerously low. When the two of you landed outside of the village, BB started beeping about sand in it’s circuits and you just shook your head. “You know I’ve never heard a droid complain so much.” You teased, and the little droid beeped back at you with the most indignant response. Poe laughed and tutted. 

“Watch the language BB, we are trying to give a good impression.” Poe responded, taking off his helmet and throwing it into the cockpit of his ship. The two of you made your way to the village centre, and you decided to stay outside of the small house he was visiting and “keep watch”. Poe agreed and sent BB on a perimeter sweep. 

When both of them were gone, you pulled out the tracker that had been lodged in your belt and pressed the button, activating it. With the deed done, you pulled out your blaster, and began walking back and forth, waiting for the telltale sight of the approaching ships. 

BB-8 saw them first, the searchlights of the Trooper ships had your heart beating fast. The little droid sped past you, but you ran in the opposite direction, hiding behind a building and getting out of sight as the first bolts began firing. You didn’t want to risk getting shot by either side, so you ducked into your space and waited. 

At the sound of the Command Shuttle, you peaked your head up over the side of your cover and watched as the massive ship landed just meters from you. The sound of shots began to quiet, and those lucky enough to be alive were rounded up and surrounded by troopers. The man that Poe was meeting, Lor San Tekka, was being pulled from his home and lead to the crowd as Commander Ren exited the shuttle. 

Beside you, you saw Poe grabbing a blaster and moving into position. You waved, trying to gain his attention, but he wasn’t listening. You called his name quietly, but if he heard you, he ignored you. The sound of a lightsaber igniting had our eyes snapping back to the crowd as Kylo Ren cut down Tekka. You felt yourself gasping, the brutality of the death something you were not really prepared to see up close. 

What happened next had you standing and running, as Poe fired at Ren. You skidded to a halt as the bolt was stopped mid-air, and Poe was frozen in place. You ducked to hide as the troopers broke away to grab Poe. There was silence, then you felt the tendrils of the Force pulling at your mind. 

“Major, you can stop your hiding.” Ren called and you froze, readying yourself for whatever was waiting for you. When you came around your cover, Poe was staring in fear and shock at you as you put your hands behind your head and walked over to the cowled man. Two troopers came up behind you, pulling your hands from your head and cuffing them. Ren nodded to you as you passed, but you just stared at the ground as you were lead back onto the ship. You passed Captain Phasma as you did, your eyes meeting with her visor before she addressed Commander Ren. 

You blocked out the sound of the blaster bolts and the screams of the villagers. 

The ride back to the flagship had you shifting in nervous anticipation. Ren was standing behind you, and Poe was next to you. You had glanced at him once or twice, but he was staring at the floor. You wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that it was going to be okay, but you don’t know that. At least, for him. 

The shuttle jutted uneasily with the reentry, and you realized that with you gone, they probably had to choose some random pilot to fly this mission. The landing was just as uneasy, and when the ramp dropped you breathed in the air of the ship and sighed internally. The fresh feeling from D’Qar was gone, and in its place was the rancid and tainted recycled air of the ship. You figured that it was probably only as bad as it was because of sheer purity of the planet. Your planet was industrial and the air was heavy most days. This was such a shock that it almost had you coughing. “Bring him to the interrogation bay. The General will want to see her.” Ren said before walking away, leaving you to be jostled and pulled around by the Troopers that held you. 

The walk through the ship was long and agonizing. You had only been gone for two days, but it was enough time for each eye to turn to you in hatred. To your surprise, they lead you to the bridge, and you felt your heart flutter at the sight of Hux standing at the front of the bridge, looking out the front port. He turned when he heard the door open his face set in a deep scowl. 

The troopers dropped you to your knees in front of him, and he stared down at you. You figured that he would pull you up and reveal the truth of the mission to all who were watching, but instead, his hand pulled back and smacked you. You turned with the strike, crying out in pain as you looked up to him with utter confusion. He simply turned back to the front window and the troopers pulled you up. 

“Hux! General Hux, Please!” You were begging him to tell them the truth, but you couldn’t understand why he was acting the way he was. If he was just pretending, he wouldn’t have hit you as hard as he had. You let the Troopers lead you to an interrogation room, and strap you into the chair without complaint. Your mind was too busy trying to understand what was was happening to think about fighting them. In the next room, you heard blows landing, and Poe crying out in pain. 

It hurt you to hear him being assaulted, but you knew that it was part of the way things worked. He was the enemy, and you had to keep reminding yourself of that each time he yelled in pain. You had to admire him though, he wasn’t breaking. Suddenly, Kylo Ren walked into the room and you jumped as the door behind him slid closed. 

“You’ve done well. The Supreme Leader is impressed with your work.” Kylo said, his voice still through the vocoder. 

“Why is Hux angry with me.” You stated more than asked and Kylo was silent, watching you. 

“He had a meeting with the Supreme leader. Something must have disturbed him.” You shook your head, your face still stinging.

“What could he have heard that made him act the way he did.” Your voice was breaking and you hated yourself for it. 

“Have you done anything that could make him angry?” Kylo spoke as if he already knew. You dropped your head in shame. “I know that it was not intentional, but the Supreme Leader is manipulative. He senses that you are making the General weak, making him soft. He would do anything to turn the general against you.” Ren moved back toward the door. “Things are about to change, (Y/n). I suggest that you regain the trust of the General.” And with that, he left and entered the room that housed Poe. The door slid closed and the lights went off as a sweet smelling gas filled the room. You were asleep within seconds.


	9. Chapter 9

You woke to a Klaxon blaring loudly in the hallway. You shot up, but you winced when you realized you were still restrained in your chair. A pair of stormtroopers ran past you in the hall and you called out to them, but they ignored you. An officer passed and you called out to them, but this time, they stopped, turning and staring at you. 

“Let me out.” You say breathlessly when they stopped, another officer joining them. They looked at you, and then each other, before walking into the cell and closing the door behind them. The sudden feeling of danger radiated off of them through the force and you set your eyes on them, narrowing them dangerously. 

“Let you out? So you can betray the order again?” One of them said, and your blood froze as they pulled out their blaster. The other grabbed their wrist and shook her head. 

“We kill her, and the General doesn’t get his information.” She said and you nearly sighed in relief. At least one of them had common sense. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t start the interrogation.” She finished, pulling the electrode prod from the table in the wall. You pulled at your restraints and shook your head. 

“No! Don’t! You have it all wrong!” You replied frantically but she put the tool to your side, in the same place you had been burned before. You screamed in fear and she laughed. 

“Really? Because you seem like a coward to me.” She hissed and her partner crossed their arms and laughed. “Heard that you ran off after the attack on that shit heap of a planet of yours.” You narrowed your eyes at that, you may hate your planet, but no one shit talked it in front of you. 

“One of the officers on that mission said that you cried the entire ride back to the ship. Pathetic, standards for the academy are dropping if they let weaklings through. If I was your trainer I would have suffocated you in your sleep.” They growled, taking the probe from the other’s hand and shoving it into your side. 

Pain erupted and you screamed. You felt the electricity flow through your scars like water through a pipe. You arched up off of the chair in agony. When they pulled it away, you slumped down, still twitching. They both stared at the tool in their hands, amazed by the pain they could inflict with such a small instrument. They smirked, then did it again, and you felt your side burn worse than it had before. 

Your screams sounded muffled and your head was light as you focused on the feeling against your own wishes. Then suddenly it stopped and you opened your eyes. The two of them had been thrown across the room and had been knocked out cold by the blow. You looked to your arms and saw the scars had grown to cover more of your arms. And your restraints had been blown off of you. 

With your new freedom you lifted your tunic to see the scars had reached all the way around your body like the cracks in the glass previously formed were pushed out farther. You winced as you stared at it, and jumped when the door opened. Kylo was in the door, his helmet gone as he stared at you. 

His eyes then darted to the people on the floor and the electro probe on the floor. His jaw was set tightly as he rushed to you and undid the restraints on your feet. Kylo caught you as you stumbled out of the chair and chen checked you over. “You need to get out of here.” He said finally. 

“What?” You asked tiredly, your entire body aching as the muscles relaxed. 

“You’ve grown stronger, which means that the Supreme Leader will feel it. If he hadn’t before he does now.” You narrowed your eyes at the panic in his voice. 

 

“What... what are you talking about?” You panted as he lead you out into the hall.

“The call to the light. I felt it before, but it was quiet, but now it’s just as strong, if not stronger than your call to the dark.” Kylo turned down the hall, checking for anyone watching before he rushed you into the escape pod terminal for this deck. 

He leaned you against a wall and then moved to the console to open one of the pods. You turned to watch him in awe as he opened an escape pod and prepped it to depart. “You feel it too.” You croaked out and he froze, turning to look at you over his shoulder nodding once before he continued with his task. “What will you do?” You knew that you were asking for the both of you, but it didn’t matter. Kylo lifted you up setting you into the seat of the pod and strapping you in. You grabbed him as he started to leave, still not answering your question. 

When you grabbed him, you froze as a vision crossed your eyes. Kylo was going to kill the Supreme leader. You didn’t know when, but it was soon. He was tired of the abuse, he needed an out. _I will do what I need to._ He finally answered your question before breaking from your grasp and leaving the pod. 

You stared at each other for a long moment. “This will take you to Leia. I have disabled the tracking, when you land. Do not leave the pod until I call to you.” You nodded. “You are stronger than you think (Y/n), trust your instincts.” With that wisdom, he closed the door and launched the pod. 

As you were launched out the door, you kept your eyes on Kylo. He turned before you were fully gone and then you were alone. Sparks flying from the ship had you unclipping your restraints to press your face to the port hole. Many of the cannons had been blown off and the Ventral were letting off exhaust from recent use. You realized that that must have been the Klaxon you heard. 

With a beeping warning, the pod jumped to Lightspeed and threw you back against the door. You pulled yourself up and back into the seat as the small ship rocked. They weren’t meant for long distance Lightspeed, but they were designed to get you as far from the ship, and to your destination as soon as possible, comfort be damned. 

The pod was big enough for four people, but only just. With just yourself in it, it was roomy and you stretched your legs. You reflected on what Kylo said, both when he first came to see you, and when he helped you escape. It was all so confusing. First he says that you need to regain the trust of the General, and then he is helping you escape. If Hux wasn’t pissed at you before, he was going to skin you alive now. Thats what was so confusing. What was Kylo up to that it was safer for you to be with the enemy than it was to be with him?

If he killed the Supreme Leader, what would become of you? Would you be called to the darkside? What even _was_ The darkside? What was the light? How were they different. It felt like both of these sides were warring within you, but how could you know which one was right. Kylo killed people without thinking, but so did the Resistance, all because of the uniform they wore. 

You shook your head, the thoughts making it hurt. At that moment, the ship dropped from lightspeed and you saw a planet come into view. The escape pod entered the atmosphere and you grit your teeth as it shook violently before deploying the parachute. You crashed through the canopy of trees and the pod rolled three times before it stopped. When you unbuckled yourself, you pitched forward. Remembering Kylo’s words, you opened the door to allow oxygen in and used the door as a canopy. 

Survival was your main goal you probably wouldn’t be here long, but the sun on this planet was setting, and you didn’t want to be caught in unfamiliar terrain with your pants down. Fire was your main goal, although you worried about the smoke. A cold gust of wind made the decision for you and you scoured the area around the pod for sticks and rocks. 

Using the side of your foot, you dug a trench in front of your pod and lined the dirt you dug out around the outer rim to form a wall. You then used the flat rocks you found to line that wall. The rocks would reflect both your heat and the heat from the fire. And the long fire would minimize smoke while also forming a shield to protect you from wildlife. You waited to light the fire until you were ready to pack in to limit how much you crossed over an open flame. 

The seats of the Pod detached and you placed them on the ground to sleep on. They were about as comfortable to lay on as they were to sit on, but they would do for a night or two. The pod also had a survival pack in the back of the ship, and you pulled it down, and pulled out the ration bars and instant water purifying drops. Under that is what you were looking for, the aluminum foil blanket. You tacked the blanket to the door/roof and then used a stick to tack it to the ground. This formed a wall that would help with reflecting the heat from the fire and also keep off the rain water. Just as you finished setting it up, clouds began to move in. 

There was an empty canteen in the survival pack and you grabbed it, waiting to feel the rain to test for its acidity. The first few drops fell and it felt mostly normal, but you dropped a few purifying tablets in the canteen for safety, and then cupped part of the roof to guide the water into the mouth of the canteen. You then retreated into the shelter to escape the rain as it became heavier. 

You lit the fire you had prepared, and then curled up on your bed, tucking your legs to your chest and listened to the rain hit the roof and slide off to the ground. Soon the crackling of the fire and the patter of the rain lulled you to sleep. 

Dreams plagued you all night, but it was the dreams you were used to. It wasn’t until the dreams changed to what you didn’t that you paid attention. You were seeing things through Kylo’s eyes, and he was chasing after a girl. You recognized her as the one who would strike him down and your eyes shot open as you called his name, suddenly awake. The sun was up, and the rain had stopped. You fire had died long ago, but you still felt the heat, thanks to your shelter. Something within you told you to leave your pod and scan the area. 

A pair of Quadnocks and a compass was clipped to the side of the survival pack, and you grabbed them before exiting your shelter. Your pod had landed on the far side of a clearing that was just meters from a riverbank. Looking around you quickly sprinted across the open space and only stopped when you reached the riverbank, which turned out, was a lake shore. You climbed as high as you dared before using the quadnocks to scan the area. They zoomed in on destruction across the lake from you. _How could I have not heard that?_ You thought to yourself, the image of Tie-Fighters diving around the structure catching your eyes. A rumbling to your right had you training your eyes to the approaching mist. 

The ‘nocks zeroed in on a black X-wing and you felt your face breaking into a wide smile. “Poe!” You called out happily, as if he could hear you. He must have escaped. You smiled wider and laughed as you realized the destruction you saw on the _Finalizer_ must have been caused when he escaped.You heart stopped at that and you realized angrily that he had escaped, and you hadn’t. He had run off without you and left you to whatever fate you would succumb to. The warring of the two sides of the force burned in your chest, and you suddenly understood the power of the darkside. You wanted to kill him.

But before you could get more angry you felt a sudden shift in the force, something you were certainly not ready for, or used to, that nearly had you falling from the tree you perched yourself in. 

Quickly climbing down, you hurried back to your shelter and began cleaning up what you could, stamping out whatever small smoldering was left in the fire and packing the ration bars, sticking one in your mouth as you waited. 

It wasn’t long before you felt the tendrils of Kylo reaching out to you. _Hurry to them, your wound will start to fester._ You heard him say, and you touched your side, feeling suddenly woozy as you pulled away to see blood. You hadn’t felt the pain before, but now you did. It would take you some time to get to them, the lake was probably a few Kilometers around. You took a step, but felt weak as your side spasmed. 

You reached out with the force, feeling for someone to hear you. Leia’s signature responded to your touch and you cried out to her. You felt her force drift over you, and stop on your side. It pulled away suddenly, and the feeling had you standing and pushing onward. 

Each step felt like weights were dragging behind you, but you pushed forward, grabbing trees and using them to launch you forward. You made it a majority of the way around the lake before the resistance fighters found you, the two men slipped one of your arms over their shoulders and lifted you into their arms to carry you the last few meters back to the structure. 

Leia finished her conversation with a man you didn’t know to rush over to you. The resistance fighters that were carrying you, put you down on your feet as she made her way over, her hand coming to cup your clammy face, smiling gently. 

“So happy you made it back to us. Poe was going out of his mind with worry.” You felt the anger warring in your die, and it was replaced with guilt at your earlier thoughts. She must have noticed this because she smiled sadly. She probably felt the war within you, she probably could tell that you didn’t know which side you wanted to win. 

Her eyes dropped to your side and she frowned. “Get her to a medic, that burn will only get worse if it isn’t treated, and soon.” With that she turned and made her way back to the men from before. There was another man beside her, his skin was dark, but he was wearing the black under uniform of a stormtrooper. You both locked eyes and his narrowed as he saw you, obviously recognizing you. You stared back at him. You didn’t know who he was, but he knew you, or who you used to be. You didn’t know which was more dangerous. 

The men carrying you lifted you onto a ship, and a medic rushed over, hurrying to lift your bloodied tunic and to bandage your burn. She swore when she saw the damage but you just winced. “It’s an old injury, it’s not as bad as it looks.” You grit out, squeezing your eyes shut as Leia boarded the ship and the door closed. 

As the ship took off, the general came to sit next to you. She reached out with her force and held your hand tightly. You smiled over at her in thanks but she just looked forward. You let the medic work, thankful that you had eaten the ration bar when she stuck a needle in your arm and pumped in an antiseptic and anesthetic.  
_____

The ship landed on D’Qar some time later, you were escorted to a medbay on Leia’s orders where you were checked over for what felt like the thousandth time before being cleared. You were given a new Tunic, but there was no coat for you to cover your arms from the cold wind, so you went back to your tiny room and grabbed the First Order jacket you had stored there days before. Guilt rose back in your throat as you looked at the uniform, knowing that any losses the resistance suffered was your fault. You shocked yourself at the thought, shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You were with the enemy, you were still undercover. Or were you? 

You shrugged on the jacket, the Black a nice contrast to the grey tunic and khaki pants they had given you. Your First Order belt set around your hips and the boots made it look like you had looted some poor officer. It was a good look, you decided, and you threw your hair into a messy bun, just to add to the effect before you made your way back to the command room. The Ex-Stormtrooper looked up when you entered and narrowed his eyes. 

He pulled out a blaster, aiming it at you and you unholstered yours as the room collectively gasped and yelled in protest. The two of you stared each other down and Poe grabbed the trooper’s arm and Leia yours. “Easy, Finn! She’s with us!” Poe exclaimed, his eyes lighting up when he saw you, ducking his head in a greeting. You didn’t return it just yet, you were too busy glaring at the man before you. 

“She’s a First Order Officer!” The man ‘Finn’, growled out, pure hatred burning in his eyes. You returned it, a defected stormtrooper was scum. You blinked in surprise at your own thoughts before dropping your blaster and holstering it. He watched you in surprise, as he lowered his. Leia pat your shoulder, before addressing Finn. 

“And you were a stormtrooper. Both of you are _here_ now. You are both on the same side.” Leia spoke calmly, but Finn glared at you. 

“Yea, but I wasn’t sleeping with the General.” He growled out and you felt your heart drop and your stomach rise into your throat. All eyes were on you and you paled. You don’t know what was worse, Leia’s hand jumping from your shoulder, or the disgust on Poe’s face. You didn’t stay to find out. Instead you ran out of the room and then the compound. You didn’t stop running until your lungs burned and your legs gave out.

You fell to your knees, letting out a scream of anger as you pounded the ground, dirt flew up around you, and to your satisfaction, you scared a small creature, it jumped up and scurried away. You tried to calm your breathing but it still came out in angry gasps. You didn’t know who you were angry at more, Finn for exposing you to everyone, or yourself for not being more careful. How did he know? Who told them? Your minded drifted back to the night at your home. Had one of the officers misinterpreted the kiss? _They didn’t misinterpret it, if they were right._ You reminded yourself but you pounded the ground again, hissing as you felt something in your hand crack. Nothing was broken, just disjointed. You swore, cupping your hand painfully. 

You were suddenly thrown into another vision, this time you were on a planet. You recognized the feeling of the base and realized that this was _Starkiller_ You also realized that this was now, not the future. Hux was standing looking out a port a large sun staring back at him.   
“Begin charging the weapon.” He ordered, and you felt your heart stutter. You hurried to the console, reading the coordinates of the next shot and you nearly hurled. He was aiming here. 

You pulled out of the vision. All anger gone, replaced by survival instinct you sprinted back towards the base. Halfway there you were intercepted by an officer. You quickly asked him where the General was and he told you, you ran into the room just as it was starting to empty. Leia stopped you, putting a hand on your shoulder. 

“I know, they just told us. We have a plan.” You nodded, still out of breath. You opened your mouth to speak but she cut you off. “I want you with Han, they could use all the help they could get.” You, again nodded and she pushed you off in the direction of an old freighter. 

You approached an old man, his Wookie companion stared at you and barked a greeting, you nodded to him, and he shook his head, returning to his task. The old man looked up to you, and leaned on the console he was currently working on. “So, you’re the ex-Officer Leia told me about.” You hated how he spat out officer, but you nodded nonetheless. 

“Yes, Sir.” You responded and he flapped a hand at you dismissively. 

“Don’t call me Sir, never been a sir before and don’t plan on starting now.” He looked you over for a moment and sniffed. “Leia sending you with me? You must be useful.” He continued working on his ship as he spoke. You nodded, but realizing he couldn’t see you cleared your throat to speak. 

“Yes, Si-” He glanced up at you and you corrected yourself. “Yes, I was a technician, I can get you in where ever you need.” He nodded at that and then inclined his head to a series of boxes. 

“Start loading those.” You nodded to him, but he called out to you again. “Name is Han, Han Solo.” You crinkle your face in confused recognition of the name but smiled anyway. 

“(Y/n) (L/n). Nice to meet you Han.” He sniffed again and you made your way into the ship. Moments later, you were followed in by the Ex-stormtrooper. As soon as you placed your box down, you were up against a wall, his forearm pressed into your neck, you sputtered in surprise, then glared at him and grit your teeth. He returned your glare and you stared at each other. 

“I don’t know what you are planning, but I’m warning you now. You do anything, _anything_ to compromise this mission, and I will kill you myself.” He snarled and you simply smirked, as he touched you, you felt his future. 

“I wouldn’t be so quick to judge my ulterior methods FN-2187, do they know what you plan on doing? Do they know that you have no idea how to shut down the shields?” He stared at you in shock. 

“How do you know about that.” He demanded, pressing his arm into your neck harder. You grinned at him and he simply repeated the question. 

“I’ll make you a deal, I won’t tell them what you plan to do, and when I break away to do what I need to do, you let me go.” His lip curled in anger but he nodded, pushing away from you just as Han and the Wookie enter the ship. Han looked at you both curiously, but ignored it, passing by you and making his way to the cockpit. 

“Buckle Up buttercups, this is going to be one hell of a ride.” You glared at Finn, and he moved away from you, deciding instead to ride with them instead of riding with you in the back. You didn’t mind, you didn’t want to look at him anyway. 

Less than an hour later, you heard Han yell to hold on and you braced yourself on the table in front of you. The ship rumbled as it dropped out of lightspeed, then you could feel it crash through something. You swore loudly, as your head was thrown back and you saw stars. Then all of a sudden there was nothing again. Seconds later you were thrown from your seat despite your restraints, the ancient freighter giving way under you. You landed on the floor and groaned as you pushed yourself up. 

You limped to the cockpit, glaring at the men (and Wookie) sitting there. “Kriff, Solo, where did you learn to fly?” You growled, rubbing your head. You stared in awe out of the front screen at the fact that you were- in fact- on a planet. “Did you landed at kriffing _Lightspeed_?” You yelled. The old man simply waved you off, and groaned as he stood. Finn stood as well, glaring at you until you moved aside and let him pass. You debated sticking your foot out to trip him but you figured that would be a bit childish. Even for you. 

As you moved to follow them out into the cold. You stopped, the tendrils of the force user you had come to know so well slithered around you. Kylo was here. And so was the girl. 

And so was Hux. Han was right, this was going to be one hell of a ride.


	10. Chapter 10

Han called your name over the howling wind and you hurried out, your breath being taken out of your lungs by the cold. You suddenly wished you were trudging through the snow back on your planet, it was much nicer than this, and you realized now why that particular officer was so chipper. This was Hell. Frozen Hell. 

The four of you pressed on, the Wookie next to you and pulling you forward each time you fell. He chirped down to you and you rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you, I understand that I am slow but you are well over seven feet and I am just barely (Y/h) on a good day.” You retorted and he chirped again. “I’d love to see you on Hoth too, I’m sure it would be wonderful.” You snapped. He let out what sounded like a laugh Finn in front of you turned and scowled. 

“You can understand him? Didn’t know they taught Wookie at the academy.” He snapped and you shot daggers at him. 

“No, they don’t. But the Force is one hell of a translator.” You scoffed, and the entire group stopped and stared at you. You realized what you said a second too late and cleared your throat. Pushing your chin out indignantly you pressed on towards the building looming in the distance. 

“Wait. You’re a _Force User_?” Finn called and you ignored him. “Major! Wait.” At the use of your title, you stopped and spun around to glare at him in full force. You didn’t know if he was using it to mock you, but from the look on his face, you realized that he probably didn’t know your name, and since your rank was on display, it was probably easier to call you that. He ran up to you and reached to put his hands on your shoulders, but one look from you had him dropping his hands. “You’re a force user.” He said quietly. 

“Not exactly.” You corrected. “More like a Force _Observer_. Although I’m not so sure about that anymore.” You said as a side fact. Finn smiled turning to Han and the Wookie -Chewie- you supplied, reaching through Han’s mind. He narrowed his eyes at you as he felt it, but you didn’t let it both you. 

“That’s great! Then you can feel where Rey is.” He smiled widely but the gathered company looked to him curiously. So that was the girl’s name... Rey. 

“Look, I’m not some sort of sniffer dog. I have a job to do here, just as much as you do.” You turned on your heel to a ventilation shaft. The Basic on the side read that this was something venting a computer room. You had never been to the base, but you figured you could follow the signature of Hux until you found him. You felt the irony of doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do for Finn, but this was a part of the deal. “When you drop the shields, let me know.” You held up your communicator, and then pulled the hatch off of the shaft and slipped inside. You heard Han exclaim indignantly, but you were already sliding down to the elbow of this vent. 

_(Y/n) I feel you moving away from the group, what are- Are you in a ventilation shaft?_ Kylo’s voice filled your mind and you sighed. 

_No?_ You replied, but you could almost feel him raise his eyebrow in question. _Okay, fine, yes I am in a ventilation shaft. I’m trying to make my way to the command room. I need to delay the weapon long enough for everyone to get off of D’Qar._ You replied as you began crawling through the vents. The sound of Kylo sighing had you stilling. 

_You have answered the call to the light._ He replied almost sadly. 

_No. I haven’t. And I haven’t answered the call to the Light either. I’m currently operating in a morally grey area._ You continued to move, pressing your weight to the corners of the vent to keep from making too much noise. 

_There is no morally grey area with the force (Y/n)._ Kylo sighed and you smirked. _And yet you have managed to find it._ There was a silence for a moment, but he hadn’t left your mind. _It seems your dream is going to come true._ He said quietly and you once again stopped, heart hammering in your chest. 

_How long do we have?_ You asked frantically. 

_There seems to be some time before the weapon is charged. But even less time before the Resistance arrives. Forget Hux, get to the hangar, get into the command shuttle and prepare to take off._ You felt your heart clench at the order but swallowed thickly. _He will make it to you. Have faith in the force._ He said quietly. You wanted to ask how he knew, but the connection was gone and you didn’t know how to reconnect.

You pushed on until you found an air vent that opened beneath you. You pulled it open quietly, and pushed it into the vent in front of you. Poking your head down, you glanced around the room you had found. It was a file room, empty of human occupants. A service droid was cleaning the room, but you knew this kind of droid, it did nothing but clean. It was no concern for you. 

Dropping your legs into the room, you gripped the sides of the vent to lower yourself down. The injury in your hand reared its ugly head and you let go too soon and fell to the ground hard. Covering your mouth to keep from screaming you laid on the floor to catch your breath. The droid turned to look at you, and it’s singular eye focused on you and like a camera lense moved back and forth. You stood, wincing as you did and stood straight at attention. 

“My Uniform has been damaged. I require a new one.” You spoke clearly and the droid tilted it’s head at you, it’s eyes scanning over your uniform which was a modge podge of Resistance and First Order. You thought quickly and produced the identification card from your pocket. “A flight suit. Command Shuttle authorization.” The droid took the card in it’s appendage and scanned the card, before beeping an affirmative reply and leaving the room to complete the order. 

It seemed that someone had kept your authorization active, which meant that you were still able to gain access, but that also meant that now you would be setting off alarm bells in the main bridge. It would take a full six minutes for the system to realize that you had activated it. Which meant you had that long to get to the hangar. Which of course, you had no idea where it was. 

Clearing your mind you sat on the floor, pressing your hands to the floor and reaching out. There was so much going on at once. You felt everything, and then nothing. Suddenly it all came into focus and you felt the signature of Han, and Finn even, and Chewie, they were in a room with someone else... 

Focusing hard you felt Phasma. Pulling you away was another strong presence nearby to the others. The girl, Rey. Then there was Kylo, ever pressing on your mind. You desperately reached out for Hux, thinking about him determinedly, you found him. He was nervous. Excited. Scared. Sad.

You let out a breath. He missed you. He wished you were here with him. _I’m here._ you called out quietly. He stuttered in his step, looking around. You realized that you had projected into his mind, and that he had heard you. _Shit_ You sighed, eyes opening as the droid entered the room, and simultaneously, your communicator went off, Han giving you the signal that the shields had been taken down. It was only a matter of time before the attack began. You had to move. 

You quickly changed into the padded flight suit, the covering easy to slip into. You put on the helmet to cover your face before running into the hallway and down toward where you felt Hux’s signature. The command shuttle would be close to the main command post for easy access. Or at least, that’s what you were telling yourself in order to justify your choice in direction. 

With the helmet on, you could hear the chatter from the other pilots and officers as they spoke. The first Resistance fighters had been spotted. You began to run faster. 

“Attention, Attention. The base is under attack. All units to your positions, all Units. This is not a drill.” The alarm went off in the hall, and you were suddenly given more cover as the halls filled with people running. Ahead of you, you spotted more pilots, and thinking they knew where they were going, you followed close behind them. 

They ended up leading you right to the hangar and you couldn’t believe your luck. Towards the back of the cavern, was the command shuttle. A large circular blast door was positioned above it, and you figured that that was were you were to fly out of. Steering yourself toward it, you were relieved to find that it was empty. Climbing up the side of the ship, you felt the first few explosions rock the planet. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” You chanted as you fumbled with the locking cylinder in your hands that would open the hatch. The droid had done its job,it had gotten you the keys for the damn ship as well as the uniform. Thank the stars for the innocent ignorance of droids. 

You finally managed to get it open, and you slid into the cockpit, your eyes locking with the place you had fallen before. You shook the image out of your mind, but you could still feel the energy of the moment in the air and it made your side hurt. You began firing up the shuttle, and you felt your heart pang. Both sides were sustaining heavy losses. This was madness. You clutched your head and willed the force to stop making you feel this, but it was just as ruthless and if anything, it made the pain worse. You grit your teeth and ignored it, running through the checks long enough for muscle memory to kick in from your Tie-fighter, and believe it or not, the X-wing. 

A sudden wave of pain had you zeroing in on Kylo, your mind sending you to him. You found yourself in the Oscillator, watching as Han Solo and Kylo Ren stared each other down. 

“The face of my son.” Han said and you gasped. Kylo twitched, like he heard you, but you didn’t care. Han Solo, was Kylo’s father? So... that meant... Leia.... Your eyes went wide and you forced yourself out of the moment, not wanting to waste energy on keeping the connection when there was so much going on already. 

You finished powering up the ship, but stopped, screaming as you felt the most intense pain you had ever felt radiate through your stomach. Much like the burn on your side, but this was within you. You felt simultaneous pain through many people, but none worse than the one from Kylo. 

_Han Solo. Is Dead._ He cracked out within your mind, and you sat in the seat you had claimed, hand over your chest and mouth, eyes flooding with tears. You didn’t know Han, but you knew that pain. You saw it in your father’s eyes when you left. And you felt it from Kylo. He had just made a mistake, something he could never fix. 

_Kylo, what have you done._ You cried, and he simply shut you out. You cried into your gloved hands as you felt grief flood you. This was the beginning of something so much more than what you were comfortable with. A sudden explosion had you snapping out of your pain, despite the constant feeling of death around you. You scrambled for the ship’s communicator, frantically punching in Hux’s communicator number. 

“Who is this.” He demanded, and he sounded like he was running. Fear gripped you and you didn’t care how weak you sounded. You cried in to the receiver, a ragged breath escaping you.

“Hux!” You cried, terror running through you as you knew exactly what was happening around you. If he didn’t hurry, you were going to die. “I’m so scared.” You choked out. 

Hux almost sounded relieved when he heard your voice, his own cracking. “I’m coming darling. Stay in the ship. I’m coming.” He trailed off and the communicator went dead. Above you, you looked through the viewport to see that the door was still closed. You began pressing buttons, any of them to get the door to open, finally your fist connected with something that caused the doors to slowly open. You cried out in relief, and then did so again when you saw the form of Hux running into the now abandoned hangar. As he ran, he dodged falling bits of rock and debris. You dropped the ramp door, and he ran in, his chest heaving with strain. You stared at each other for a long moment, but the shaking of the ship had you both sitting in the seats of the cockpit, you now in the pilot seat, and Hux sliding into the co-pilot seat. 

“We need to find Ren.” You both said at once. A glance at each other had Hux pressing buttons on the display before him and a small red dot forming on the screen. 

“Is that him?” You asked, already starting to lift the ship out of the hangar as the floor gave way beneath you. You maneuvered through the hole, turning the ship in the direction of the dot. You knew what had happened already, you had seen it. Hux replied in the affirmative and you nodded, driving the ship forward as if you had learned how to fly it overnight. You figured it was your instincts, or more likely, the force guiding you. At this point, dark and light was melding so easily that you didn’t know which side was guiding you. All you knew was that you need to find him, and you needed to get away from this planet. You had only minutes before it was about to implode. 

You landed on the shape that was Kylo Ren, and frantically, you and Hux ran out onto the shaking ground and pulled him into the ramp, shutting it as quickly as possible and then taking off. Only when you were airborne did Hux lift him onto a cot and secure him so he wouldn’t fall off. You pushed the shuttle forward, emergency protocol kicking in as you headed for the _Supremacy_. You sighed as the ship was pushed to lightspeed and you leaned back in your chair to breathe. You wiped at your tear stained eyes but it was no use, there was too much. So many lives lost. You didn’t know which side suffered the worst, but what you did know is that it didn’t matter. You had friends on both sides. 

Hux’s hand gripped your shoulder and pulled you out of the chair, and slammed you on the wall behind it, a knife flicking out of his sleeve to be pressed against your throat. You raised your hands slowly, knowing that this was most likely going to happen once the immediate threat of death subsided. “Give me one good reason not to kill you right here.” He snarled. 

“Hux, I don’t know what you have heard, but the Supreme Leader lied to you.” He scoffed, the knife moving dangerously close to your jugular. 

“Being an Imperial Whore wasn’t good enough for you? You had to be a Rebel Whore as well?” The words stung, they cut deep and you could tell he was just doing it to hurt you, but hell if it wasn’t working. You would have spat something nasty back at him, but the knife currently pressed close to your skin was as good a deterrent as any. 

“Hux, please, listen to me. I never did anything. We never did, anything. I would never do that to you.” You pressed your hands to his chest and you could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. 

“He showed me. Showed me you, _Fucking_ that... creature. That _pilot_.” He spat out the words and you felt your heart break. Hux had been lied to, and now he was questioning everything. 

“Snoke lied.” You said determined, your hands cupping his. You swallowed thickly, the action making the knife cut into your skin. “Hey, Hux, look at me.” His eyes snapped to yours, and you wanted to kill Snoke in that moment. Hux’s eyes were tired, more than they usually were, and he had bags that hung low under his eyes. “I am loyal to you. And _only_ you.” You affirmed, gripping his face tightly. 

A new light lit in his eyes, and the knife was removed from your neck, and was replaced by his lips, sucking on the spot and the blood that had formed there. You keened, knees buckling under you at the sensation. Those words had done something to Hux, and whatever it was, you needed it. 

You lifted your legs, and when Hux supported your weight, you wrapped them around his hips. He pressed your back against the wall and you whined as he pulled away from your neck to look up at you. 

The two of you simply stayed like that, staring at each other. It had only been a few days since you had last been in each other’s arms, but it felt like a lifetime. You leaned down and kissed Hux deeply. He returned it, but you pulled away and instead wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Tears began to flow and he held you tightly. 

He may not know what your tears were for, but he accepted your pain. You hadn’t let him see the pain before, but now, you gripped the back of his coat and the hair at the nape of his neck tightly, and sobbed into his shoulder. He was all you had left that made sense, and he kept the warring force away for the time being. 

You decided then that you wouldn’t tell him about it. The less you could think about it while around him, the better. Hux was the only person in your life that didn’t know about your power, and he was the only person not using it against you, and for that you were thankful. Light or Dark, it didn’t matter because Hux couldn’t feel the conflict raging within you. 

A groaning had you lifting your head to see Ren was waking up. Hux let you down and the two of you dropped down into the secondary sitting area. You made it to his side first, your hand making contact with his chest as he tried to sit up. His hand shot out and he gripped your throat tightly. You coughed, smacking his arm. He realized it was you and he instantly dropped you. He then pulled you into his arms and held you tightly. You returned it, knowing exactly what he was feeling. He was just as torn about Han as you were. Hux looked on awkwardly from the side as you pulled away and turned his head to check his wound. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. 

“You’re lucky it didn’t catch your eyes.” You scolded and he stared at you through the gore on his face. You swung around to Hux whose eyes snapped to yours. “Get the med-kit.” He narrowed his eyes, but did as you ordered. He obviously didn’t enjoy being told what to do, but he obeyed, pulling the kit from the cabinet by the ramp. 

Pulling a canteen from the survival kit placed under the cot, you poured some water over Kylo’s face. He grit his teeth and growled out in pain, his force tendrils wrapping around and tightening on your wrist. You glared at him. “Let. Go.” You ordered, causing the general to stare at you, noting the obvious lack of restraint on you, and also how you seemed to be ordering the Sith Knight around. 

The tendrils released and you finished pouring the water over his face enough to clean the worst of it away from his face. You then took gauze from the pack and pressed it onto the burn, to dab it dry and clean it. Ren hissed again but didn’t try to stop you. You dabbed until the bleeding stopped, or at least slowed enough that you knew it would scab and then you injected a vial of painkiller into his arm, watching as his eyes closed and he fell asleep. 

You knew that he would probably want the pain, but you weren’t going to let him suffer. A blaster burn on his side caught your attention, but it had been padded by a few layers, so you left it for now. 

When you turned around, Hux was watching you. You looked at him tiredly, wanting nothing more than to curl into a ball and sleep. It was probably a good 20-24 hours since you slept last. And you could feel it. Hux noticed your exhaustion, and he pulled down another cot and layed in it, moving back to allow you room to curl into his chest. 

He held you then, and kissed the top of your head gently. “Something has changed in you.” He said quietly, and you tensed. He eased a hand down your side, and you winced, pulling away from him. You didn’t want to look at him, but his hand gave you no other choice, tipping you up to meet his eyes. “That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” He eased, kissing your nose. The gentle action had you warming and relaxing in his embrace. 

He trusted you again, which was surprising to say the least. But you figured that his distrust in Snoke outweighed his distrust in you, and when you told him nothing happened, he had no other choice but to believe you. The General could count on one hand the people he trusted, and most of those people were in this room. Ren he trusted, but just as far as he could throw him. Which wasn’t very far. 

“What happens now?” You asked nervously, your hand playing with a button on his coat like a child. He sighed, pulling you closer to him and tucking your head under his chin. You knew what was going to happen _eventually_ , but what was going to happen as soon as you dropped out of lightspeed? What happened when he was eventually called to the Supreme leader? What was going to become of the First Order?

“If I knew, I would tell you.” He said quietly, running a hand through your hair, working the knots out slowly. The soothing motion of his hands moving through your hair had you relaxing into his arms even more, and the steady sound of his breathing had your eyes dropping closed


	11. Chapter 11

Sleeping seemed like it was the only thing, you seemed to be doing, and the only thing you could never find enough time for. But waking up in Hux’s arms in his quarters while he worked on a datapad was something you could always enjoy. You looked up at him, smiling softly as you watched him. 

Hux had wrapped you in a blanket, your flight suit open to your waist and tied out of the way so it was mostly just pants. It was more comfortable to sleep in by far, and you appreciated the attention he paid you. Hux glanced down at you, as if to check on you, but he returned your smile tiredly when he saw you were awake. 

“You look tired.” You said quietly, your hand moving to run a thumb under his eye and around the bags. He nodded, his hand coming to cup yours. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” He replied, matching your tone. You could feel the waves of worry rolling off of Hux, but it didn’t show on his face. It was surprising just how much control he had over his features. You thought back to all the times you saw him act so cool under pressure, what was he really feeling? Did he go back to his office and break down like you? He said that he had flashbacks to you getting hurt, but... 

You let the thoughts hang in your mind as he put the Datapad down and pulled you into his arms. 

“Where are we?” You asked, looking around the quarters around you. 

“The _Finalizer_. In lightspeed” He responded, and you nodded. He must have carried you in, not wanting to disturb you. 

“Is Ren alright?” You sat up in his arms and he let you. The blanket came up around your shoulders, and you pulled it closer, using it as a sort of cloak as you pushed yourself off of the couch and walked to his window. Streaks of light flew past you as you stared out the window. 

You heard Hux stand, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders as he hummed in the affirmative. You nodded, letting him know you heard him as you lost yourself in the streaking light. You knew what it meant. You were headed back to D’Qar to destroy the resistance base. 

“What is more important to me, is are _you_ alright.” He said from behind you and you shrugged, your hand absently ghosting over your side, the injury still burning every now and again. You had accepted that you would probably always feel it. You opened your mouth to respond but he cut you off. “And don’t tell me you are fine because I know you are not.” 

He turned you in his arms and stared down at you pointedly. He looked just as much your general as he always did. But this was not his usually cold and calculating questioning, this was concern. This was, dare you even think it, love. 

Burning in your eyes had you shaking your head, and had his nostrils flaring as he saw the pain in your eyes. You wanted to tell him everything. You wanted to scream and pound your hands against the walls until your hands bled, or broke. The thought had your injured hand sting in an absent pain. Hux looked at you, so willing to help you heal, and all you could do was shake your head. 

It wasn’t hard to understand what Hux thought of the force. Ren was a tool, and he allowed it to be used. The Supreme Leader was a necessary evil to Hux, but you didn’t want to think about what you were. If he found out, would you be another tool? Or would you be simply a body that he could no longer want. Would he push you out an airlock? Or would he send you into battle with nothing to fight with. You had seen it before. It was a cruel way to die. 

You of course trust Hux, he was one of the only people you had left. You daren’t think that Poe trusted you anymore. Han was dead, and you had no idea if Chewie or Finn, or the girl ‘Rey’ made it off of Starkiller. You believed they did, you hadn’t really had the time to feel if they had perished, there was so much death at once that the force had overloaded you. 

You wanted Kylo to teach you to block it out. Or to make it stop. All of these feelings were warring around in your head, and you could tell that he was no better. Something told you that Kylo was facing demons even now. Hux still held you as your mind wandered, and you realized that he was waiting for an answer. He had asked you something. 

“Darling, tell me. Can I fix it?” He pleaded, obviously feeling just as out of depth as you did, he just didn’t show it. 

How could he possibly fix anything. You didn’t know where you stood with anyone but him, right at this moment. “You can’t fix me.” You broke, your voice cracking. If you had never seen Hux look like he had been rendered helpless, you had in that moment. “But you can promise me one thing.” You pushed out. Hux dropped to his knees before you, holding tightly to your wrists as he stared up at you like a man begging his god to save him. 

“Anything, anything you ask of me.” It was a heavy thing to say, the both of you knew it. Hux didn’t care, he knew in his heart, wherever that might be, that he meant them. 

“Promise me that when the time comes, you will not lose faith in me.” You said, the words stemming from some place within you that you didn’t want to see. This conflict, this fight within you was going to end someday. If Kylo was right, then that meant you would one day choose either the dark or the light. And someday Hux would find out about your power. If he truly meant what he said, then this was the one way you could protect both him, and yourself. In the end, it didn’t matter what side you chose, you would always choose him. 

Hux looked startled by your words, but he nodded. He stood, pulling you into his arms and kissing you. You briefly wondered if Hux was able to feel it too, the impending change, but that quickly vanished as you felt him push the blanket off of your shoulders and let it fall to the ground at your feet. 

The sudden rush of cold had goosebumps raising on your arms, but they were smoothed down as Hux’s hands ran down your arms and wrapped around your side. You pulled away from him, and when your eyes met you saw in his eyes the same fire from the ship. It had your knees shaking as he backed you up to sit on the long dinner table by the window. 

For some strange reason, you felt nervous again. That same feeling from the first time he had made advances to you in the greenhouse, you felt once again like there was enough power radiating off of him to command not just an army, but the galaxy. 

The feeling was intoxicating and you wanted to play into it, to bring out that feeling that had your heart beating wildly. “You said something has changed in me.” You breathed, surprised by the breathy quality of your own voice. You pushed on as he nodded, his hands working the knot of your sleeves around your waist to begin pulling off the flight suit. “But something has changed in you, too.” He paused at that moment, his hand slipping from your body and to the table under you, his chest was pressed against yours, as he leaned against you, a feral grin spreading over his face. 

You didn’t have to use the force to see the power hungry lust in his eyes, but it let you see into his mind anyway. You saw Hux, on the a throne. _The_ throne. Hux wasn’t satisfied with just being the Supreme Leader’s bulldog. He wanted his power, and he wanted the galaxy. You bit your lip at the sight of Hux on the towering chair, laurels wrapped around his head, burnt gold and lined with black and precious stones stood out against his fire red hair. 

“What has changed in me, pray tell?” He asked, his voice dangerous. You suddenly knew that should his vision come to light, there is no soul in the galaxy that wouldn’t kneel to this man. And if there was, they wouldn’t live long enough to refuse twice. 

“You want redemption. You want power.” Hux pressed forward at that point, urging you on as his hands pulled at you. His hands pulled your knees apart and he stepped between them, he then fisted his hand into your hair and pulled your head to the side to attack your neck. You stuttered out a breath, hands fisting into his shirt. 

“You want to destroy the Resistance, kill Leia.” The words left a bitter taste in your mouth, but at the same time it was thrilling. This man capable of so much power and destruction was between _your_ legs, his hand was fisted in _your_ hair. As much power as he had, you had just as much. Hux hips bucked into yours once at the sentence, confirming your thoughts. “You want to kill Snoke.” You spat out the name, and Hux growled at the feeling of you tightening your grip. You didn’t have to be force sensitive to tell that you hated Snoke with as much passion as Hux. He had lied to Hux, and he used Kylo. Your own hands began pulling at his uniform, pulling the buttons from their holes almost violently. He helped you, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the side. He pulled your undershirt off and let it fall to the floor on top of his. Hux pulled you off the table, pushing your suit off your hips to let you step out of them. He then put you back on the table, and pulled your panties off as he knelt before you. You stared in shock at him, the image in your head of the galaxy kneeling at his feet played in your mind as he knelt at yours. 

He simply used his hand to push you back onto the table, your own hands reaching above you to steady yourself on the other side of the table. He growled out a ‘keep talking’ as he kissed your inner thigh, trailing his mouth to your overheated core. You took a breath, enjoying the feeling, but it was cut short when he nipped your thigh in warning. 

You yelped, bucking up into his face causing him to throw an arm over your hips as he continued to tease your sensitive skin. “Y-You want to have Kylo Ren under your control. With him-you have the galaxy.” Hux rewarded you with the words by licking a flat stripe between your legs. You bucked up against his arm, and groaned as he didn’t let you move. He continued the motion and your hands fell from above you to grip his head tightly. 

Hux pulled your hand from his hair and trapped your other arm under it as he gave them both to the one holding you to the table. Your head fell back, your chest lifting as you arched and hissed at the sensation of his free hand replaced his mouth, his pointer finger tracing the soft skin of your core, before circling once or twice around your clit, then continuing on. You could feel the pressure building in your core and Hux dipped his fingers into your entrance, first one, then two. His thumb pressed against your clit tightly and you keened again, legs kicking out. 

Hux continued to pump in and out of you, each time he pulled out dragging against the front wall of your entrance almost cruelly. He stood then, leaning over you to speak into your ear. Your eyes were shut tightly, but you opened them when he barked out the order to do so. You stared at him, eyes wide with lust and lungs struggling to press out enough air. 

“If I rule this galaxy.” He stopped, the feral grin returning to his lips. “ _When_ I rule this galaxy, where will you be?” He asked and you felt heat rush to your cheeks, and where his hand was currently pulsing into you. 

“I...I don’t know.” You replied honestly, your chest heaving with the strain of speaking. He tilted his head in question, an eyebrow raising in surprise. 

“You don’t?” You shook your head, wanting desperately to close your eyes, the eye contact almost too much to take. “Think harder.” He pressed, the speed of his hand increasing, making it nearly impossible to do just that. 

You stared into his eyes, and sucked in a breath. If he was implying what you thought he was, then you were going to come undone under him in that moment. You had never been thirsty for power, never craved it before, but now you wanted it just as much as you wanted him. You retried your answer, voice climbing in pitch as you felt the spring winding tightly within you. “Beside you.” You choked and he smirked. 

“That’s right. You will be beside me as we take down the Resistance. You will be beside me as we watch Snoke die. And you will be beside me as I take the throne. You will be my Empress.” He began to almost growl at the end he let go of your wrists, his now free hand instead latching onto your neck, just below your jaw. “And I will be your Emperor.” As he spoke those final words, you felt the spring snap in your stomach and your eyes went white as the feeling flooded through you like the star that took _Starkiller_.

As you lay shaking on the table, you heard Hux unclipping his belt and pulling his zipper down. “Come, kneel before your Emperor.” He commanded and you felt yourself suck breath desperately into your lungs. The things he was saying, and what you had said, were treasonous, if the Supreme Leader heard any of it, you would both be killed. 

You supposed that that was why you moved so fast to obey him. Fuck Snoke and all he stood for. 

You slid to your knees before Hux and looked up at him through your lashes as he had himself in his hand and was stroking gently up and down his shaft. Subconsciously you licked your lips and Hux smirked. “Do you want to serve me, (Y/n)?” You lifted yourself up on your knees, hands resting on his hips, his uniform pants rough under your hands. 

“Yes...”You trailed off, connecting your gaze with his. “Yes, your majesty.” Hux closed his eyes at the title, and you leaned forward, ghosting your lips over the ‘V’ of his hips, stopping when you reached the beltline of his pants. You moved over his stomach and continued up the other side of the ‘V’ to kiss his right hip.

The muscles of his abdomen twitched under your mouth and you sucked some flesh into your teeth and pulled it gently. Hux grunted in the pain but didn’t pull you away. You latched your mouth onto the spot, sucking a dark mark into the skin. Pulling away, you admired your work the bruise starting to darken satisfyingly into the shape of your mouth. You looked up at him innocently and he chuckled darkly, the hand closest to your head entwining in the top of your head and pulling your head back and away from him. “You will pay for that.” He said, his voice dark and playfully venomous. 

You grinned up at him, lips swollen and glistening with spit. “Promise?” You teased and Hux smirked. Using his hand on your head, he guided you down to his member, pressing the tip to your lips. 

Something in you wanted to test him, to refuse to take him and see his reaction. As if he heard your inner debate, he pulled on your hair, the action forcing your mouth to drop open. He tilted his head in warning and you dipped your head forward, chastly kissing the tip of his shaft. He growled your name and you decided you had seen enough of his dangerous side for one night, and allowed him to push pash your lips and into your mouth. 

Hux sat there for a moment, and the both of you savoured the feeling. You again scrunch your nose at the taste of him, but it wasn’t as bad as the last time, and instead you decided that it was just like his smell, this was clearly what he tasted like, and you loved it. 

 

When he began to move, you hollowed out your cheeks, then sucked them back in as he began to pull out. He groaned, the words unintelligible, but certainly dirty. You hummed in response and he swore, his free hand dropping to the table behind you to steady himself. You gripped his thighs tightly, your thumbs digging into the flesh of his inner thigh. 

He continued to rock into you for the next few minutes, but then his hips stuttered and you swallowed him into your throat as he spilled his seed. He pulled back and you panted for breath as he recovered. 

You stood then and he wrapped his arms around you as he kissed you deeply. His hands wrapped around you and uncliped your bra before tossing it to the side with the rest of your abandoned clothes. Once again you were up on the table, and Hux was between your legs. 

The cool metal of the Durasteel table heated along with your skin as he leaned you down on its surface. Hux leaned over you, his hand running along your side, stopping when he saw the marks had grown. His face set in an angry line as he looked back at you. “What happened?” He demanded, his eyes filled with a dangerous lust for the blood of whoever did this. You shook your head. 

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You said quietly, his jaw clenched angrily, you reached a hand up to his chin and smoothed along the muscles there. “Two officers thought they would start my interrogation early.” You said finally, not wanting him to question you later. 

You dodged his hand as it came and slammed down on the table beside you. You curled away from him slightly as he breathed heavily. You supposed he was hoping that it was someone in the Resistance. That would be easier for him to deal with. When he saw you staring at him in fear, he sighed and leaned down to kiss you. He apologized quietly, and you pulled his face to yours and kissed him sweetly. 

“It’s fine, I took care of it.” You said cryptically and he furrowed his brow in confusion, then understanding. He must have gotten the report of the injured officers and your escape simultaneously. He grinned. 

“So you are the one who gave them concussions. They were saying something about you throwing them off of you without even touching them.” You tensed under him yet again and he smiled, shaking his head. “We told them they were hallucinating.” You laughed with him awkwardly. 

He leaned down and kissed you again, his tongue sneaking out and pressing against your lips. You allowed him access, and he pressed forward. The soft feeling of his tongue moving against yours had you relaxing again and letting out quiet whimpers as you felt the buzzing of need return to your core. You squirmed under Hux, and you felt his member starting to harden again against your leg. 

You bucked against him again and he pulled away from you to help guide him into your entrance. You whined loudly,pressing your bare chest against his. Hux let out a breath of air at the feeling of finally being inside of you again and he began to rock slowly against you. Each push of his hips had your sensitive clit rubbing against the front of his pants, the rough texture driving you insane. He continued his slow assault and you felt like you wanted to scream, but you wouldn’t tell him to move any faster, the torture was the best part. 

“They know.” You blurted out, Finn’s words suddenly pressing to the forefront of your mind. Hux looked down at you, not faltering in his movement as he did. 

“Who knows what?” He demanded. You instantly regretted speaking, but you had already dug this hole, may as well get it out in the open. 

“FN-2187, he said.. He know. About us.” You stuttered, the slow pace driving you up a wall. You now understood that savouring the moment, instead of chasing release was infinitely better. 

Hux bared his teeth at the name of the rogue stormtrooper, his eyes narrowing at some unseen memory. “And so what if he does?” Hux asked, a sharp thrust of his hips pushing you up the table with a cry. 

“Wh-what will the others think...” You trailed off into a moan, eyes slipping closed. 

“I told you I would take you in front of the entire galaxy, and I plan on making good on that promise. The fact that they know now has no bearing on anything.” He decided, finally picking up the pace as he began to chase his end. The quiet building of tightness suddenly was the only thing on your mind and you were chanting Hux’s name as you too chased your edge. 

Just as you felt Hux twitch within you, he pressed his lips to yours and panted against your lips. “I love you.” You choked out, just as you hit your peak. Hux came loudly after you, the feeling of his warmth spreading within you. Hux pulled you into a sitting position, and kissed you to a point that you knew you would bruise. 

“I love you too, my Empress.” He panted, just as the ship rattled as it came out of lightspeed and his communicator beeped, calling him to the bridge.   
This was the last stand of the Resistance.


	12. Chapter 12

You had followed Hux to the bridge, per his request and after getting your old uniform on, it felt slightly wrong. You found yourself missing the flowing tunic and pants from the Resistance, the restrictive clothing of your First Order uniform making you anxious. Your sudden claustrophobia was unnoticed by Hux, but your presence was not by the rest of those in the bridge. They looked between you two curiously, some even whispering to each other as you stood by the door. Hux moved to the front of the room, and you stayed behind. Kylo moved from his place at the front of the room after a brief conversation with the general that had Hux looking at you, and then nodding. 

You followed without being told to as Kylo moved down the halls toward the hangar, taking three quick steps for every one of his long strides. He suddenly pulled off, heading toward an empty conference room. Kylo ushered you into the room, and to your surprise didn’t remove his mask. You didn’t question it as he began to speak. “I fear we are both about to be tested.” He spoke, his modulated voice so strange to your ears. 

“So it’s going to happen today.” You supplied to which he didn’t respond, the silence expanse of his mask the only thing you had to go on. You then understood why he kept the mask on. The war must be tearing him apart. 

“Have you told him?” He asked, changing the subject. You furrowed a brow in confusion. “Have you told Hux, that you are force sensitive?” He corrected, and you shook your head violently. 

“I don’t want to, I have no idea how he would react.” You replied, sitting on the conference room table. 

“That is why he is confused then.” Kylo responded, looking to the side. You jumped up from the table, staring angrily into the visor that stood in place of his eyes. 

“What did you tell him.” You ground out, fists clenching at your sides. The chair next to you pushed away from you slightly and both of your eyes were drawn to it. 

“You need more training. You have outgrown what I have taught you.” He said tiredly. “I suppose that is why the Supreme Leader wishes to meet with you, personally.” He spoke quietly, answering both your previous question and the new ones sprouting in your mind. 

“Kylo, I can’t meet with him.” You said nervously, to which Kylo tilted his head. “What if he reads my mind, he will see...” You trailed off, not really wanting to talk about your sex life with the Sith. 

“You will fear that the Supreme Leader will see you and Hux...committing treason.” He phrased carefully, and you flushed scarlet. 

“I can’t even keep _you_ from my mind, how will I ever keep the Supreme Leader out!” You groaned exasperatedly. You couldn’t see his eyes, but you knew he was looking at you almost hurt. You didn’t know which of the two men was more powerful, but one was the Supreme Leader, and one was Kylo Ren. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t get that from you.” You blushed again and looked up at him with doe eyes. “I fear for any other force user that passes Hux, he has basically been projecting it since he walked onto the bridge.” You blushed but grinned, hiding your face as you let yourself laugh at both the discomfort being shown by Ren and the juvenile way that Hux was thinking of you. “I wouldn’t worry much about him finding out. The Supreme Leader will most likely not be interested in your intimate life with the general. He may be a powerful man, but he is not exactly the most observant.” Kylo mused, as if lost in space. 

The sudden shaking of the ship had you both of you snapping out of your trances, and then looking at each other. “It’s Poe.” You spoke as you felt the signature fly by you. Kylo nodded, corroborating your feelings and then he moved to the door. 

He turned when he reached it, speaking over his shoulder as his hand hovered over the access panel. “I suggest you wait here until the Supreme Leader calls for you.” He said, and you could almost feel the small smirk in his words. “I don’t believe the general would be very happy to see you rooting for the enemy.” He said, walking from the room. You started, touching your hand to your face and frowning when you felt the wide smile on your lips. 

A sudden flood of warring emotions flooded you, half of them fear, the other half excitement, but both of them laced with an underlying feeling of Awe.A Dreadnought. You rushed to the window, slamming your hand on the button to open the shields and allow you a view out the glass. Those same feelings rushed through you as you saw the enormous ship loom into view. 

Dreadnoughts were not something you would really expect to see, but this behemoth of a ship was something that was not to be taken lightly. You watched in amazement as the ship began to power on, and then you pressed your face to the glass as a small fighter began to flit around it like a fly on a bantha. It was almost comical, watching the ship take out the cannons like it was a daily bombing run. It stopped being funny when you saw the telltale black shape that was Poe Dameron’s X-wing. 

“POE! What the Kriff are you _doing_?!” You shouted to no one. In horror you watched the tiny ship dodge the massive blasts from the warship, each near-miss bringing bile into your throat. You found yourself reaching out with the force unintentionally, trying to make sure you kept track of the tiny fighter. 

From the front of the ship, you watched in pride as a fleet of bombers and fighters moved in, their target obvious as they headed for the weak spot of the ship. It was incredible to watch, but your heart dropped as you watched fighters deploy. One by one, you stared in horror as fighters and bombers alike exploded and carrened back into the gravitational pull of the planet below them. You kept an eye out for Poe, but you your attention was drawn back to the front of the fleet as a lone bomber was left, and it inched forward. 

Inwardly you were thanking Kylo for suggesting you stay where you were due to the way you were biting your lip and silently chanting the little ship on. The cockpit of the bomber was hit and you felt yourself tense, a quiet ‘no’ slipping from your lips. Seconds ticked by but they felt like hours as you watched the bomber reach its attack point without dropping it’s load on the warship which had already shot off a few rounds to the planet surface and looked to be charging for another one. You could already tell what they were aiming for, the small transport catching your attention as the escape craft for the resistance. 

The bombs then fell from the ship as it was engulfed in flames and you jumped in the air, pumping your fist as you cheered, the payload dropping on the main body of the ship. Dread filled you as you watched the bomber fall into the flames of the downed ship, while simultaneously your heart ached at the losses on the Dreadnought. 

This morally grey area was going to drive you insane. You pulled away from the window, watching the giant ship fall toward the planet, breaking up as it did. You then ran to the door of the room you were in, making it into the hallway Just as Hux was leaving the bridge, his hand over his mouth. He stopped when he saw you, wiping his hand over his mouth and then wiping it on his jacket. 

You stared at the blood on his chin and then looked up at him as he passed you, grabbing your arm as he did. “The Supreme Leader wishes to meet with us.” He said in answer to your questioning stare. 

“You’re bleeding.” You said in response to which he grunted, wiping at the offending red on his otherwise pale face. Hux didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so you reached into his mind trying to see what had happened. He stopped mid-stride, head spinning around as he looked down the hall. You questioned his sudden movement and he glared, eyes narrowing as he searched the empty corridor. 

“Ren is nearby, I can feel him shifting through my mind. He’s normally more subtle.” He grumbled and you paled. You didn’t realize that he could feel you, though you should have guessed he could. It wasn’t exactly a nice feeling. As if on cue, Ren came around the corner, meeting the two of you as you made your way to the shuttle that would take you up to the _Supremacy_. 

“You have lost your subtlety, Ren. I could feel you rooting through my mind as you did when you first joined my army.” Hux stressed the ‘My’ of his sentence with a pointed look at the younger man. Kylo glanced at you and you looked away from him, staring at the floor. Luckily, he didn’t expose you, instead taking the fall himself. 

“My apologies general, perhaps I thought your mind was still as weak as it was when I was first learning. I forget that you too have learned the same of the force as a typical three year old.” Kylo shot back, using your blunder as a way to aggravate the general. 

Hux stopped in his movement, spinning to face Kylo head on. The cowled man beside you simply smirked beneath his mask as Hux attempted to scold him. You on the other hand, froze for an entirely different reason. You felt the strongest wave of fear and power yet. Snoke was here. 

The oppressive feeling of Snoke was like that of when you found yourself tangled in your bedsheets after a nightmare. Nothing in you had the freedom to move, yet you felt like should you not escape your current prison, you would die of suffocation and heat. It also felt like when you first walked out onto the snow covered expanse of _Starkiller_. All air was sucked from your lungs and your skin burned with ice. 

Kyo felt your struggle through the force, and pushed past Hux to rest a hand on your shoulder. _Breathe. You need to breathe. Push him out. That is the only way you will survive._ He spoke into your mind and you gasped, not realizing you were holding your breath. Hux called your name from behind Kylo, moving into your line of vision, you stared back at him, the sight of Hux allowing you to focus on something other than Snoke long enough to push him from your senses. 

“I’m okay.” You coughed out, as Kylo moved away, heading down the hall.

_You will have to tell him eventually._ Was Kylo’s parting response as the black figure moved down and out of sight. 

“I have something I need to tell you.” You said, gripping Hux’s arm tightly. He furrowed his brow, looking down at you with concern. 

“Can this wait until after our meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke?” He replied anxiously, the Supreme Leader the only person in the Galaxy that Hux took orders from. 

“No! It’s the whole reason he’s called me.” You replied angrily and Hux almost flinched at your tone. You took a calming breath before speaking again. “Please Hux, I... I can’t keep this a secret any longer.” Hux debated this for a moment but shook his head. 

“We don’t have the time! I’m sorry.” He said apologetically before entering the shuttle room with Ren. You followed behind him, the red uniforms of the Royal Guards making the three of you anxious. You felt Hux reach to you, his fingers brushing against yours. You threw caution out the window and gripped him tightly. His eyes slide to yours and you pleaded with him silently not to let go. He nodded once, and turned his attention back to the door before you. You felt Kylo reach out to you through the force, his ghostly hand resting on your shoulder. You let yourself breathe. Squeezing Hux’s hand as the shuttle stuttered to a stop, he returned it, then dropped your fingers. 

The Guards moved out and into the hall, ushering the small group in black to a large blast door. “General Hux, you have been called first.” One of the red figures said, but you couldn’t tell which one. It was eerie. These beings -because they did not feel like men- struck more fear into your heart than when you first saw Ren. 

Hux nodded, stiffening his posture as the doors opened and he strode inside. The Red Guards followed behind him, and suddenly you and Kylo were left in the hallway alone. When the doors fully closed you let yourself collapse against the wall, your head in your hands. “Hux failed.” Kylo said after a moment, and you glanced up at him. 

“What do you mean he failed?” You asked angrily. He stared down at you, his hands behind his back as he stood straight. It was different, watching Ren act this way. Normally he would slouch and lean against any wall he found, but here it was like he was scared to touch anything. You realized that just like Snoke was the only man Hux took orders from, Snoke was the only man that controlled Kylo Ren. 

“First the weapon, then he lost the Dreadnought. Snoke is not happy with him. So much so that he insulted Hux by humiliating him in front of his crew.” When you furrowed your brow in confusion, Kylo continued. “He threw Hux around on the bridge. From across the system.” The terrified awe with which Kylo spoke was enough to raise your defenses against the man in the next room. 

Kylo was about to speak, but his head snapped up and the doors opened before him. He nodded once down to you and entered the room. You stood then, watching as Hux crossed the threshold. He had a self satisfied smile on his face and you pressed against the wall to get out of his way.

Hux turned to you, taking your hand in his gently. He brought it to his lips and kissed them gently. When his lips connected with your hand you saw through his mind. He was afraid that Snoke was going to kill him. 

You deflated, pulling him close to you and dropping your head onto his chest. How could you tell him that that is exactly what you feared for your visit as well? “What is it, my love? What has you so suddenly unnerved?” Hux asked quietly, his hand tilting your head up to him to meet his eyes. He tilted his head, smiling kindly at you. You stared at his face, memorizing how it looked in that moment of intimacy. 

“Hux... I have a secret... It’s... not easy to tell you.” A yell and a crash from the room behind you had you flinching, pushing against Hux for protection. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly. Your heart began to pound in your chest and Hux smoothed a hand down your back in comfort. Pulling away you looked up at him, taking a risk, you cupped both sides of his face and kissed him. 

He returned it, albeit in confusion. You could tell he wanted to hear what your secret was, but also, your heart warmed when he repeated your words from before. _“Promise me that when the time comes, you will not lose faith in me.”_ You pulled away when he did, speaking your name against your lips. Shaking your head you stepped back from him, the sudden fear enveloping you. He trusted you, you didn’t want to think about what would happen the second the words left your mouth. Would he pull his blaster from his side and strike you down then? Or would he wait, make an example of you? It was too much to take, so you just stepped away from him, the door opening to Snoke’s chamber behind you.

Kylo stormed out and past you, is mask off and clenched tightly in his hand. Hux called after him, following him to the lift that would take them to the main part of the ship. Your eyes connected with his and he stopped, but your name being called from the chamber had you both paling. You stood straighter, nodded to Hux then performed an about-face and marched into the chamber. 

Snoke’s chamber was like the mouth of a great beast. Red curtains covered the walls, a perfectly still river of blood red fabric. His Guards melded into the curtains, much like Kylo did in the shadows. You tried not to stare at anything for very long, but when your eyes landed on the man in front of you, your eyes grew wide with fear. 

The deformed man was waiting for you, draped over his throne golden robe shimmering around him. You then understood the visions in Hux’s head. If his power wasn’t evident by the feeling of the room around him, then the look of golden silk like stars shimmering around his ankles made it painfully obvious. This was the leader of the First Order. 

You came to a stop at the end of the bridge, dropping to a knee and your head bowed. You had no idea what the protocol was, but this was as good a bet as any. The sound of silk moving had your eyes snapping up to the throne as Snoke sat up straighter, his dead eyes looking down at you curiously. 

“So, you are the one causing so much trouble.” He said, his voice every bit as horrific as you imagined. You tensed at his words, eyes shutting tightly as he stood and began walking towards you. “Go on, stand up. Let me have a look at you.” He said easily, almost friendly, but the thinly veiled threat of danger always loomed over him.

Obeying his order you stood straight, falling into parade rest, your eyes caged forward. He walked around you, and you could feel the fingers of his force signature trailing around your feet and legs like snakes. “My apprentice has told me a great many things about you. He says your power is untapped, and uncontrolled. For someone your age, this can be a... deadly combination.” You didn’t respond, keeping your eyes forward and mind blank. 

“Does she speak?” He joked to the empty room and you coughed in discomfort before answering a ‘Yes Supreme Leader’. “Ahh! She does. I was beginning to think that you were mute.” The insult had you gritting your teeth, but you calmed yourself, not wanting to risk opening yourself to attack. 

“Supreme Leader, may I ask a question.” You spoke quickly, the military responses easier to trust than your own voice. Snoke scoffed a laugh but motioned you forward. 

“Ask your question.” He responded, stopping his stalking around you to stop in front of you. You looked through him, not wanting to stare at him for too long. 

“Supreme Leader, why have you called me here?” You asked, the burning question finally out in the open. 

“You know why, don’t act stupid.” You clenched your teeth as he turned away from you and made his way back to his seat.

“I’m sorry to be rude Supreme Leader, but that isn’t good enough for me.” You snapped and he stopped, turning to look at you, a surprised but pleased smile on his lips. 

“Oh really?” His hand snapped out and you found yourself lifted in the air and being pulled toward him. The air was slowly leaving your lungs and you cried out in fear thinking he would kill you right then and there. You pulled at your neck with your hands, but when that didn’t work you reached out with the force and tried to pull it off that way. He smirked when he felt this and let you fall to the ground at his feet. 

You pushed yourself up off the floor into a half sitting, half kneeling position on the floor. He glared down at you, sitting back in his seat. You shrunk under his gaze and returned your eyes to the floor as you recovered your breath. “I...I apologize, Supreme Leader.” You gasped out, eyes watering with fear and the need for air. He grunted, returning to lounge like he had before. 

The sound of the doors opening behind you had you stiffening, but then relaxing when you felt that it was Hux who entered the room. A sudden flood of anger and fear ran through him as his eyes landed on you at the foot of the throne, but he schooled it as he spoke. “You called for me, Supreme Leader?” 

Snoke looked up lazily and nodded. “Take your officer from me. I will call for her again soon. She will need training, and I am afraid my apprentice will not be strong enough to calm the battle that rages within her, and within himself.” Snoke waited a moment, but there was no sound in the room, Hux hadn’t moved.

“Training Supreme Leader? What training?” Your blood went cold, and you wanted the floor to swallow you whole. That or you wished that Snoke _had_ killed you. Then you wouldn’t feel this room fill with the flood of emotions that Hux went through. 

“Oh, has she not told you? I assumed that she would have.” At the silence, Snoke dug the knife in deeper. “You share a bed, but she will not share something so crucial to her life? Pity.” Snoke waved his hand at you and the Red knights dropped into attack stances, causing Hux to move and scoop you into his arms. You felt so weak at that moment, all energy being drained from you as you left the chamber, Snoke’s laugh filling the cave like room with a horrible sound. Like gravel on glass. 

__

Hux didn’t speak for quite some time, instead the silence between you stretched on for what felt like hours, but was only really a few minutes as you made your way down to the main levels of the ship and into a set of chambers that were obviously where the General stayed during his time on the _Supremacy_. 

The doors closed behind you, and Hux set you down on your own two feet, then moved to one side of the couch, pointing to the other with a sharp “sit.” You obeyed, guilt and dread rising in your throat. “I am needed on the bridge. You will _sit here_ until I return. And then we will speak about this.” He ordered, his voice quiet but filling the room in the strange way that he had the ability to do. You nodded, but he tilted his head in warning. 

“Yes General Hux, sir.” You responded. This was not the man you were sleeping with, or the one who held you so kindly and kissed you so sweetly. This was the General of the First Order. And you were one of his officers. 

He turned and left at that, the doors sliding closed behind him. The ship rumbled as it shot into Lightspeed and you sighed. This was the biggest room you had ever been in on a ship, and this was the largest ship in the First Order Armada, but you had never felt so claustrophobic.

You curled in on yourself and pulled your knees to your chest on the couch, your head dropping to the tops of your knees as you thought on how you would explain this to Hux. He felt guilty about the attack on your home planet, that much was evident from how he referenced it before, so how was he going to feel when he found out that because of that mission, you were suddenly a force user. 

He hated Snoke, and he tolerated Ren. Rey had given him enough trouble, and so had Leia. It also occured to you that there was a mission going on to locate the Jedi Luke Skywalker. It was like Hux was out to kill every force user there was in the Galaxy. You wondered that if you looked into his mind, if you would still be in his future. 

Reaching out you were startled to find that Hux let you in, and in fact was glaring at himself in a mirror, you assumed this was for you to see and you felt a fresh wave of fear flow through you. “Get out of my head (L/n), do not make this worse for yourself.” He ordered and you backed out of his mind slowly. Returning to yourself, you curled in tighter, pushing yourself farther into the cushions. 

You reached out for Kylo instead, but he pushed you out, ignoring your plea for company without a second thought. Snoke must have gotten to him too. Sighing in defeat, you leaned your head on the back of the couch and caught up on the sleep you had been missing. You jumped at every noise, and even more so when you dropped out of lightspeed, and you heard the Ventral cannons fire.


	13. Chapter 13

The sound of the cannons continued to fire until Hux returned a few hours later, the click of his boots echoing down the hall. You sat up, hands on your knees in trepidation. The doors opened with a hiss and you jumped despite expecting it. Hux entered the quarters, hands clasped behind his back, and instead of walking to you like you expected, he walked past you and to his desk. 

Your mouth dropped in shock at his dismissal of you, and you stood, turning to face him. He ignored you yet again so you moved around the couch and over to his desk. He glanced up at you then, a deep frown setting on his face. “I believe I gave you an order to remain in the spot I left you, Major.” He said, his eyebrow raising daring you to respond. Which of course, you did.

“Oh cut the bullshit Hux. You wanted to talk about this so let’s talk.” You demanded, sudden confidence flooding you at your anger. 

He placed the datapad in his hand down on his desk and stood up straighter, mouth setting in a deep line, the muscles in his jaw clenching tightly. He took a breath and stalked around the desk to walk in front of you, but you held your ground, fists clenched tightly at your side. 

“Now listen here-” He started but you cut him off. 

“No, _you_ listen. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my ability to use the force. I didn’t know until Kylo told me. I had no idea that the Supreme Leader was going to train me.” You interrupted, closing your eyes as angry tears began to bubble up. Being left on your own after being mentally attacked by a force user was one hell of a way to make you pissed to all hell with someone. 

“I assume that this is the secret you were about to tell me before you were called into the Supreme Leader’s chambers.” Hux said dryly and you wanted to throttle him. 

“Yes, it was. But you were too busy to listen to me.” You snapped, crossing your arms. 

 

Hux’s hand shot out and gripped your neck possessively, the grip on your jaw pulling you forward as he stuck his face in yours. “If I remember correctly, you had the chance to tell me, but you didn’t. _You_ pulled away from _me_.” He growled and you shot your hands up to grip his arm tightly. 

You narrowed your eyes in anger then tried to pull yourself from his grasp but he just tightened his hold on you, his other hand still frustratingly resting behind his back. The man held so much power in his body, but you wouldn’t know from just looking at him. “You make such a fuss about telling me this secret, and then when I give you the chance you don’t take it. If I didn’t know any better I would assume that you didn’t want to tell me about your power, and instead you were going to keep this from me. Then one day I would see you swinging a saber around next to Ren and I would have to watch as you were struck down by a blaster shot.” He spat out the last part angrily, his hand letting you go as he turned to face away from you, bracing himself on his desk to face out toward the window that showed the expanse of space. 

You wanted to reach your hand out to touch him but thought better of it, pulling your hand back. Moving away from him you put some distance between the desk and yourself. “I’m sorry, general.” You said quietly, pulling your arms close to yourself to give you some comfort. “I... I didn’t want this. I wanted to be normal.I _was_ normal.” You said, voice breaking. Hux looked up at that, his brow furrowing. 

“What do you mean you ‘were’ normal?” He asked confused. Your eyes looked to his then shot to the ground. This was something you didn’t want to talk about, mostly because you didn’t want him to feel guilty, and also because you didn’t fully understand it yourself. 

“I wasn’t born a force user. It’s not like I was hiding this the whole time. I’ve not been reading your mind and playing into your life for personal gain.” You responded, waving a hand at the absurdity. But you realized when he looked away ashamed that that was exactly what he was thinking. You brushed off the hurt from the assumption and walked over to him, gently resting your hand on his back. He stiffened, and you lifted your hand for a second before letting it rest on his back again. Hux relaxed and you brushed your hand on his back comfortingly until he looked back up at you. 

“So those meetings that Kylo requested?” Hux trailed off, starting to put the pieces together. 

“They were to be my training. And the nightmares I was having were actually visions. I was seeing the future. It wasn’t clear before, mostly just small points of the dream, not clear. But after the attack-” You stopped mid sentence, there it was, it was now out in the open. 

Hux sighed, dropping his head in shame. He still felt guilty for that attack, and he still played the moments when he thought he lost you over and over in his head. You knew there was nothing you could do to make those memories go away, just like he couldn’t undo the scars on your side. “The attack? How did that do anything?” He asked, genuinely curious. 

“Ren said it has something to do with the shock activating a stress response in my Mid..mido...” you struggled for the words, and Hux helped you. 

“Midi-chlorians.” He supplied and you nodded. He turned, resting his lower body on the desk, and folding his arms as he looked back towards the door of his quarters. Your hand dropped from his back and moved to grip your opposite arm self consciously as he thought on the information. 

“So, the midi-chlorian count in your bloodstream increased after the initial shock to your system, which would mean that they acted as a white blood cell, essentially absorbing the shock and diminishing it like a disease. They saved your life.” He said finally, head turning to look at you. You shifted uncomfortably at the news, thinking about how without the little creatures living in your body you would probably be dead. You knew that shock was strong, and probably would have killed you, but you didn’t like thinking about it much more than was needed. 

“After that the dreams became stronger and I could feel things through the force. I could see and hear things that weren’t there.” Hux nodded, as if understanding. 

“You could hear those who have passed. Ren calls them ‘force ghosts’. Your connection to the force increased with the increase of the Midi-chlorians.” You looked at Hux curiously, wondering how he knew this much about the force when before Ren said something about him having basic knowledge. He smiled sheepishly and picked up the datapad he had carried in and turning it on. There was an old Empire file on the force, and it looked like he had read through most of it. Shocked, your eyes flicked up to his. 

“You... you’re not going to send me away?” You asked nervously, and your heart fell as Hux’s face did. 

“You thought I was going to send you away?” He asked incredulously and you turned off the datapad, placing it back on the desk. 

“I... I was scared you were going to, yes. Or imprison me. Or have Ren make an example of me.” You pushed out, eyes on the ground. 

Hux tutted and cupped your chin in his hand, tilting you up to look at him. “Darling, did I not promise I would have you by my side as my Empress?” He asked quietly, his voice purring out the title, the sound so good on his lips.

Tears of relief fell from your eyes as you leaned into his hand, eyes closed. “I was so scared that when you found out, you wouldn’t want me anymore. I know how much you hate force users.” Your eyes opened to look at him and he smirked. 

“I hate Snoke for obvious reasons, Kylo irritates me more than anything. And the only other force users I know are the enemy. I do not hate them because of their power. I hate them because of who they are.” You snorted at the words, somehow they struck you funny, like a young school boy explaining why he hated the boys sitting in front of him. 

“Well that is a relief.” You joked, turning your face to kiss his hand, the smell of the leather calming you. 

“(Y/n), I love you.” Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at him, wide eyed. He had said it before, but this time you could tell he meant it. Really, really meant it. “I’m sorry you were afraid that I would do such a thing to you. I do hope that you will not be afraid to tell me things in the future.” He said softly, kissing your forehead sweetly.   
You smiled, and he wiped the tears from your face with his thumbs. “I’m sorry too.” You said quietly, dipping your head to his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist. He responded by wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest. 

The two of you sat there in the quiet, letting his heart beat calm you and your breathing copy his. “We are stalking the remaining Resistance fighters.” He said after a moment and you pulled away from him to look up at his face. He brushed the hair off your forehead and tucked it behind your ear. “We may eradicate them today.” He said quietly. 

You pulled away and took a step away from him, the war inside you making you sick again. He looked at you almost in understanding. You wanted to talk to him about what you were feeling but you were worried about what he was thinking. “Hux, I...” You trailed off, pulling your arms to yourself nervously. 

“I know. Ren told me.” You looked at him curiously and he motioned you back to him. You obeyed, moving back into his arms as he held you again. “ He explained that there is a war raging within you, the same is warring in him. I have seen it in his eyes.” He laughed a bit and you furrowed your brow at the sound. “He destroyed his helmet.” He said with a small smirk to answer your question. You smiled back at him, imagining the faces of the officers that must have encountered the Commander without his mask. 

“I don’t know what to do Hux. It’s like there is a fire burning me from the inside.” You choked out, pressing your head to his chest to hide your face. He held you tightly, shushing you as you began to shake with silent sobs. 

“Do you remember what you told me before?” You shook your head, not knowing what he was referring to. He squeezed you tightly and you felt your broken bits start to come back together. You gripped onto him tightly, letting him anchor you to the world. “You told me that you were loyal to me. And _only_ me.” You looked up at him, not knowing where he was going with this. “As long as that remains true, I could care less what side of the force you follow.” He said easily and you stared at him in shock. 

He simply looked back at you and you suddenly felt like there was no war. There was just the two of you against the galaxy. If you thought about it too hard that was probably an accurate =. Hux’s communicator went off then and he rolled his eyes, muttering ‘can’t give me a bloody hour’ before answering. “This is Hux.” 

You giggled quietly at his easy switch from annoyed to professional in an instant. You moved away from him to the kitchen while he spoke with the voice on the other side of the transmission, your stomach growling. You couldn’t remember last time you had a full meal. You meandered around his tiny galley kitchen pulling together the things to make a dish from home. Surprisingly he had most of the things you needed, and a part of you wondered if he remembered the ingredients you used on your home planet.   
You turned the stove on, starting the small meal for the two of you. You looked up to see Hux watching you with a fond smile on his face as he listened to the chatter on the other side, responding as needed. You returned the smile gently then turned back to stir the meat in the pan, then began chopping the vegetables you needed. 

Silence filled the room as Hux ended the transmission. You nearly jumped when his arms slid around your waist, his lips drifting over your neck and shoulder. You could feel the heat of him through the thick cotton of your uniform and you shrugged your shoulder in mock protest. “Careful General, I do have a knife.” You warned, waving it around slightly to prove a point, you felt him smirk and his right hand flicked out, the small knife in his sleeve popping out at the motion. You froze, not wanting the blade that was dangerously close to your chest to accidentally cut you. 

“As do I, is that a threat, Major (L/n)?” He teased and you felt your heart beat raise as you stared at your reflection in the pristine blade. You bit your lip, a sudden warmth in your core distracting you for a second at his dangerous tone. You shook your head, putting your knife down and raising your hands in surrender. He chuckled lowly, kissing your pulse point and flicking his wrist again, the knife retracting back into his sleeve. 

He moved away from you at that, to stir the pot, essentially diffusing the situation. He glanced at you as you picked up the knife and smirked as you caught him watching you, lip still caught in your teeth. 

You finished cooking the dish and served up two portions, setting one down in front of Hux and the other in front of you. The two of you ate in silence for a few moments until Hux spoke. “So, your power with the force.” You looked up at him, urging him on with a nod. “What are you able to do now?” He asked cautiously. 

You put your fork down, wiping at your mouth with the napkin on your lap before concentrating on the small bowl of fruit on his kitchen island. A small round fruit flew up and twirled in the air once before you dropped it with a huff. It wasn’t much but it was something. You hadn’t tried it before, but you had been able to move a chair without much thought. With more training, you had no idea what you could be capable of. 

He stared at you in awe, as if he had never seen someone use the force before in his presence. And maybe it was true. He had seen Ren throw people around, but he must have been so detached, or unable to really take it in before. You picked up your fork self-consciously as he stared at you. 

“What else?” He asked breathlessly and you took a breath, closing your eyes to reach out to him. He obviously knew that you could reach into his mind, he had felt you do it before, but you understood that now he wanted to feel it. He wanted to know what _you_ felt like. You allowed yourself to project to him your visions of him as Emperor, bringing the galaxy to heel and he sighed. You pulled out from his mind, already feeling tired to see that he had closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his eyes were blown wide. 

“I’m not very strong yet, I have a lot to learn.” You said quietly, not wanting to break the trance over the two of you yet. He accepted this, and you finished your food in comfortable silence the two of you sparing glances at each other every few moments. 

As Hux was helping you clean up after the two of you had finished, his communicator went off again and he growled in annoyance. You took the plates from his hand as he answered it, dropping them into the wash basin to clean. As you scrubbed at them to clean off the remains, your heart stopped at the message being sent. One of the ships was running out of fuel. The medical frigate. 

Hux ended the communication and you turned to him as he pulled his coat on from where he left it on the chair. “I have been called to the bridge,” He turned to you, positioning his cap on his head. “You may stay here if you wish, or you may accompany me to the bridge. The choice is yours.” You debated for a moment but dried your hands, and fixed the bun on your head. He nodded, understanding your silent choice and you could almost feel the pride rolling off of him. 

The two of you quickly made your way to the bridge and when Hux entered the room all gathered stood to greet him. He nodded to them and they sat, returning to work. You bit your lip again at the sight, the man already had the hearts and minds of the First Order, the galaxy would fall next. 

You stayed behind him, standing off to the side by the porthole, watching as the green bursts from the canons arched overhead and landed on the shields of the main cruiser. From your technical standpoint, you knew that a ship of that size, after a jump like they had done, probably didn’t have much fuel left. They were also going fast enough to stay out of the line of fire, which meant they were burning enough fuel that they had even less time. You worried your cheek in your teeth watching as one of the ships was indeed falling behind.

Escape crafts caught your eyes and you felt a bit of comfort that at least those on the transports were going to live, so far. But there was still a sadness as you knew that there was always one remaining on the ship to pilot it. The ship flickered with a lack of power, and then it fell behind as it ran out of fuel. You forced yourself to watch as the cannons targeted it and it exploded.

The debris from the ship flew by the windows as you passed the remains of the ship and you sighed, shaking your head at the carnage. You heard Hux call to you and you looked up responded to his call and moved toward him. There was a projection of the main cruiser, a live feed from the scanners, floating in the air in front of him and you watched it, your eyes glued to the position on the front of the ship where the bridge should be. You knew this model of ship, it was from before the demilitarization of the Empire by the Republic. It was supposed to have a bridge. 

A look from Hux answered what you didn’t know and you nodded. It was easy to understand his nonverbal cues now that you knew him better, and you found that even without the aid of the force, Hux was really an open book if you knew how to read him. 

Officers around you looked at the two of you in confusion, obviously having heard the message about your ‘betrayal’ through the transmissions. Fortunately, the _Supremacy_ was not exactly the most cared about ship in terms of intercommunication (the Supreme Leader was all knowing as far as the First Order was concerned and therefore it was a waste of resources to communicate when not necessary), and with a quick scan of the room you realized they had accepted that you were here with their own ideas of why. Many included that the Supreme Leader had pardoned you for some odd reason, and that the general had as well. 

Most of them reduced it down to the fact that you were sleeping with the general and therefore your pardoning hadn’t been much of a surprise. You wanted to sneer at that one, but at the same time you supposed it was the closest to the truth. 

Hux looked at you curiously and you returned his look from before to which he nodded once in understanding. It was odd to you, this trust shared between the two of you that you would not betray the other. It also still bothered you that the Order knew about your relationship with the General, or at least some version of it. An itching at the back of your head had you dismissing yourself from the General, to which he nodded in acceptance. 

You left the bridge and ran into Ren as he was coming down the hall. It was strange to see him without his mask walking around the ship. He tilted his head in greeting, and the two of you stopped as you passed each other. “You told him.” Ren said, and you nodded. “He took it well I presume?” he stated more than asked, again you nodded. 

“Better than I expected, I suppose I have you to thank for that.” He raised an eyebrow and you smiled. “Thank you, Kylo. I know that you helped him understand.” Kylo shrugged. 

“Consider it a thank you.” He said easily. It was your turn to look at him with confusion and he sighed. “You showed me that there is a ‘morally grey’ area to the force. You have helped calm some of the storm within me.” You felt your heart swell at his praise. He nodded to you and then continued on his original path and entered the bridge. It was interesting to note that the room did not stand when Ren entered. 

You continued on as well, walking wherever your mind took you as you walked. A voice calling to you from a dark room had you stopping. You looked around but found the halls around you empty. “Hello?” You called back suspicion raising as you listened for the voice. 

It came again, slightly familiar, but safe. You pushed through the door, one of the few doors that opened like an actual door and not an airlock. When you stepped inside, the room was dark, but it was suddenly lit by a dim blue glow and a figure appeared before you. Your heart broke when you recognized the figure. Han. 

“Well, I really don’t think we had much of a chance to get to know each other, huh kid.” He said, a small smile gracing his lips. You smiled weakly back at him, and he motioned you forward, the two of you taking a seat in a chair. 

“I’m so sorry, Han, I... I didn’t know.” You croaked and he nodded, waving his hand in dismissal. 

“It’s not your fault, Ben made his choice long ago.” He smiled, leaning forward and taking your hand in his. “You made quite an impression on Leia you know.” He said with a smile and you sniffed and laughed, free hand wiping at tears. “And on Ben.” Your eyes snapped up to him at that. You knew that Ren trusted you, but you didn’t know how much. Now his own father was saying that you were significant. 

“Han, I don’t know how to fight this war that’s raging inside me.” He nodded, letting go of your hand and leaning back in his chair. 

“Yea, I know. That’s why I’m here.” You tilted your head in curiosity. “I’m here to tell you to _stop fighting it_.” Know you were fully and truly confused. You voiced this and he sighed shaking his head. “Look, the Jedi and the Sith are two sides of the same coin, but the thing is, the universe ain’t a coin. There are bad people who can do good and kind things, and there are good people with lapses in judgement.” You nodded, understanding so far. “The universe is confusing and there are a lot of people living in it. I did things in my life that I am not proud of, and before Ben was corrupted by Snoke,” He spat at Snoke’s name and you laughed the irony of the action on Snoke’s very own ship not lost on you. “He was a good kid.” Han continued. 

“So what does this all mean. How does that stop the war?” You asked, the message making sense, but the pain inside you was still there. 

“You have to stop looking at it like a war. You had family on both ‘sides’ of the war before, and you have family on both ‘sides’ now.” He used air quotes as he spoke and you stared at him in confusion at his comment. He shook his head and grumbled something. “Your father and his before him Served in the Empire. Your father defected a few years into his service, found himself on some unknown planet, in some unknown, unimportant village and made a new life.” 

This information hit you like a ton of bricks and you stared at him in shock. You knew that you had never really met any of your father’s family, but you assumed that it was because he didn’t have any. The fact that your father had served in the Empire was staggering, and you were glad you were sitting down. 

Han continued while you absorbed this. “And he fell in love with the great great...” He waved his hands to indicate the lineage was unimportant. “Granddaughter of a Jedi from a long time ago.” He pointed at your chest, one ghostly finger glowing blue and you gasped at you felt your scars tingle and the ones on your hand glowed a light blue. “That’s where those come from.” He said, indicating to the Midi-chlorians. “They were passed on from enough people that shut out the force that they only woke up when you met the business end of an electro-prod.” He sniffed with finality, grunting as he leaned back in his chair. 

You shook your head to clear your thoughts and looked back at him. “How do you know all this? And I thought only force users became....” You motioned to him and he shrugged. 

“I guess when you marry the daughter of Darth Vader and the sister of Luke Skywalker you get a free pass.” He said with a laugh, but you weren’t laughing. Luke Skywalker was Ben’s uncle? Was Leia’s brother? Of all the information you had been given, that was the most surprising. No wonder Ben-Kylo... was having such a hard time with the war within him. He was not only the Grandson of the most powerful Sith Lord in history, but he was also the nephew of the most powerful Jedi Master as well. Which also meant that Darth Vader was Leia and Luke’s father. 

It was all too much and Han stood, fixing his jacket uncomfortably. “I see that this is a lot to take in, so I won’t overload you too much now.” You nodded numbly and he stepped forward putting a hand on your shoulder. “Your friends will be okay. You need to have faith in the force.” Your eyes shot to his at his echoing of Kylo’s words and he smiled. “Where do you think he learned it from? His mother was one hell of a believer.” He said and you smiled back at him. 

With that Han was gone, and you were left alone in the dark room. A look at your watch showed you that it was almost two hours since you had entered the room. You knew the force was strange and it worked in even stranger ways, but losing two hours of time during what felt like a less than ten minute conversation was a bit much for you. 

You walked into the hallway again and ran right into Hux. He grabbed your shoulders and looked down at you, a slightly crazed worried look in his eyes. You shook yourself out of your daze and smiled up at him. “Where have you been? I couldn’t contact you, I had no idea where you went and Ren said he saw you before he came onto the bridge.” 

Startled, you furrowed your brow at him. He was worried that something had happened to you, that Snoke had gotten to you when he wasn’t looking. You let him pull you into his chest and you returned his embrace, muttering an apology into his coat. “I... I got distracted...Pulled into...” You didn’t know what to call it but Hux seemed to understand the basics of what you were trying to say, the force was kriffing weird.


	14. Chapter 14

Hux walked with you for some time, the two of you just enjoying the company of the other. The ship was mostly empty in the halls, but when the two of you encountered anyone, there was a moment of awkward greetings. It was obvious that people didn’t know how to react to the general’s relationship status, and it was painfully obvious when they walked away from you, their thoughts being projected loudly down the hall. 

Hux seemed to notice this, and he furrowed his brows as two new Lieutenants scurried away after greeting him. “It appears to me that news spreads quickly when it comes to my personal life.” He grumbled, setting his jaw angrily. 

You shrugged, pulling your datapad out of your jacket as it pinged, Kylo had sent you a message requesting that you meet with him. You raised an eyebrow at the message, wondering why he didn’t just reach out to you, but you agreed nonetheless. “I suppose that when you are untouchable, any bit of weakness people can find is something to latch onto.” You said, turning to face him, a small smile on your face. 

“You think yourself important enough to me to be a weakness.” He teased, crossing his arms as he looked down his nose at you. You smirked, putting a hand to his chest and without checking the hall for witnesses, pressed a kiss to his lips.

You pulled away from him and backed down a corridor that would lead to where Kylo had asked to meet. “No general, I don’t think I’m a weakness.” You turned away from him, making sure to swing your hips slightly. “I _know_ I am.” You teased without looking over your shoulder at him. If you had, you would have seen him stare at your ass for a moment before biting his lip. 

__

The sound of your knuckles rapping on the door to Kylo’s quarters was loud and hollow in this forgotten part of the ship. There were other doors in the hall, a strong sense of the dark side of the force permeated the floor and you wondered who lived in the other chambers that could create a thick fog of the force like this. 

Kylo opened the door from within, and your eyes landed on him meditating in the back corner. He stood as you entered and you nodded to him. He returned it, then motioned you toward another cushion on the floor that was obviously for you to use. 

You accepted his offer, seating yourself on the soft cushion. It wasn’t lost on you how uncomfortable your uniform felt when you sat and you suddenly longed for the tunic and slacks from the Resistance. 

“We need to speak about what is about to happen.” Kylo broke the silence and you nodded agreeing. “Hux is going to take Snoke’s throne. But he is not a force user.” You again agreed, not really understanding the politics of Snoke’s position. “Therefore I will assume his title.” A sneaking suspicion rose in you that you were being watched, and you shifted uncomfortably at the feeling. 

“You are speaking as though he is already dead and unable to hear us.” You said nervously. Kylo smirked and leaned against the wall behind him. 

“You sensed the force when you entered this floor. The Knights of Ren are currently meditating. There is enough noise going on in the force, what with all of the chaos you are stirring each time you think you are not being watched while fraternizing with the general,” He smirked when you sputtered in embarrassment but waved it off to indicate he was joking. “Snoke will have a hard time picking out a conversation between us. So long as we are verbal, he will not hear us.” You nodded, feeling marginally better. 

“So, if you become Supreme Leader, where does that leave Hux?” you didn’t add the part about your position in all of this, thinking it inappropriate, but Kylo was not an idiot, he knew what you were asking. 

“Don’t worry, your general will have his laurels.” He said with a smirk. You nodded, contemplating this. “In all ways politically, Hux will be Emperor, but he will need our help to gain the respect of the Galaxy.” You looked at him seriously at this, the word ‘us’ striking out to you. 

“Us? What will I be able to do? I can barely lift a grape.” You said exasperated. Kylo had the audacity to look mildly impressed. 

“We will first have to teach you to use a saber, so at least you can defend yourself-” You jumped up at that, walking away from him and shaking your head. 

“No, no way. A _saber_? Kylo are you insane?” You walked to the edge of the sparse room, the lack of anything giving you pause for a second. Did he even have a bed? Kylo stood behind you and walked in front of you, taking his saber off of his belt and extending it to you. 

“The mark of a force user is his-their, weapon.” He explained. You looked at the weapon in his hands and felt a wave of respectable fear wash through you at the hilt of such a deadly tool. He extended it again, and you reluctantly took it from his hands, feeling it’s weight in your hands. It was heavy, and cold, but it also felt alive, something within it calling out to you. 

“Why can’t I use a blaster?” You asked, voice small. There was so much power in a saber, a blaster was the last part of you that was normal, that was acceptable. A saber would be, no pun intended, the killing strike to your normalcy. 

“A blaster is a respectable weapon. But no one runs from a blaster when they have one in their hands as well. A saber strikes fear in the hearts of all who see it. You have the capability of being strong enough that with more training, the sight of you will strike fear in your enemies, but the sight of you with a saber will send them running.” You nodded, turning the hilt in your hand, the feeling more comfortable and almost safer than a blaster in your hands. You understood what he was saying now. 

“Don’t we need special permission to make one?” You asked, not really sure of the theory or the custom. There was a jedi temple on your planet, and the connection that you were descended from those who use to live there had a chill running through your heart. 

Kylo smirked at that, taking his saber back and clipping it to his side. “Morally grey area, right?” he said, moving to the door and pulling his cowl on, the flowing fabric striking jealousy into you. Oh to be free from the confines of your uniform. 

“So, what does that mean?” You asked, following him to the door and into the hall. The oppressive feeling had dissipated enough that you could breathe comfortably in the hallway now. 

“It means that once things come to pass, you and I will travel to find the pieces you need, and you will construct your saber.” You nodded, following behind him numbly as he made his way to the lift. When the two of you entered it, you both stopped, a feeling flowing over the force that had the two of you looking at each other. There was Resistance on the ship, and the girl Rey was here.

There was a silent agreement between the two of you, he would handle the girl, and you would handle the Resistance. The doors opened and you went your separate ways. You reached out to Hux and found him as usual on the bridge. You then scanned the trip as much as you could for the force signatures you knew so well. It was difficult, there were so many strong signals, many of which you now understood were the Knights of Ren, and the others were the Supreme Leader, Hux, and Ren. Rey’s signature was weak, but it was growing stronger as she got closer to the ship. 

Ren’s long legs brought him from the bowels of the ship to the hangar in record time, his quarters having been only a few decks away. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that he had run to meet her. 

It was deck M6 that you saw Finn. He and two others, one man and a woman were wearing uniforms, and they were about six paces in front of you. You hurried your steps to fall into step beside Finn causing him to jump and glare, then soften when he realized it was you. “Fancy seeing you here.” He remarked almost bitterly. 

“We all do what we must to survive.” You retorted, and he nodded in understanding and respect.

“We are looking for the lightspeed tracking, can you help us?” You looked to him curiously, the two beside him were looking at the two of you strangely, and you realized that it looked like Finn had just struck up a conversation with some random officer. You brushed it off and nodded at him, tilting your head down a corridor, using your datapad as an access card.

When you entered the technician hallway, you were able to speak out loud. “We need to disable the tracker long enough to make another jump.” Finn explained and you nodded, pressing forward through the corridor that cut through the centre of the ship. Luckily, the technical layout of the _Supremacy_ was also crucial information for you to know. 

“You better hope you have enough fuel to make it far enough away. You can run, but Snoke can still find you.” You said, turning over your shoulder to look at the dark skinned man. He nodded in understanding, and the two behind him looked scared as hell. But you had to admire the determined look in their eyes. You smiled to yourself. That was what the Resistance was about. Hope. “Although, that may not be a problem for very long.” You muttered. Finn heard you, and questioned what you meant. 

“What do you mean ‘that may not be a problem for very long’?” He asked as you opened another access door and peeked into the hall, glancing around for a quick moment to check for people. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just, wherever you run to, don’t stop. Keep running. Get out of the galaxy if you can.” You half joked. Hux may be a merciful man when it comes to your family, but you assumed that chosen family was a bit too far out of his circle of protection. 

You feared what would happen to the three hopeful faces you saw before you once he assumed the throne. Finn looked like he was about to protest, but you pushed them out into the hall and then closed the door behind him after pointing to the access hatch down the hall. With that done, you hurried back the way you came, only to be met with stormtroopers. 

“Shit.” You breathed, raising your hands in surrender. They moved forward, and you didn’t resist, letting them cuff you and lead you to the main hangar. Things happened quickly on First Order ships, so it was no surprise that when you entered the hangar, Finn and the woman he was with were already on their knees before Hux and Phasma. Your heart clenched at the sight, the imagery too perfect. Hux’s eyes drifted to you and he frowned. You dropped your head, staring at the floor. 

All at once, time slowed down and sped up, a wave of the force rushing through you as the oppressive feeling of death, washed over you, and then a weight was lifted from you as Snoke’s vice like grip that you had somehow become used to vanished all at once from your mind. He had done it. Kylo killed snoke. 

By the time you realized you were moving, you were already on the bridge. Hux was standing by the window, fists tightly clenched as he watched anxiously the unfolding events. You could feel the impending doom as the force seemed to scramble around you in a panic. Your bonds were suddenly removed on their own will and you ran forward, time in milliseconds stretching for hours as your arms wrapped around Hux’s waist and you pulled him to the ground, just as the cruiser plowed through the right half of the ship. 

Your body covered Hux’s as explosions took over the bridge and alarms began blaring, the evacuation klaxon and red evacuation lights coming on line. Under you, Hux spun to look at who had tackled him and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw you above him, one arm up and eyes shut tightly. You opened your eyes to look down at him, but he was looking past you at the large piece of metal you were currently hovering over your heads. 

You stared at the sheet of metal that you- or the force- had ripped from the floor to act as a shield from the sparks and glass from the shattered screens. With a flick of your hand it fell away to the side and you stared wide eyed back at Hux. He laughed almost incredulously and you shrugged. “I guess ripping a sheet of metal off of a star destroyer is easier than lifting a grape.” You attempted a joke but it fell of deaf ears as Hux pulled you in for an almost violent kiss. 

You pulled away from his silent thank-you breathlessly, his obvious display of your relationship in a public place taking your breath away. You turned to the bridge, catching the eyes of those who saw the moment and felt your blood go cold. They had seen you kiss, but more importantly, they saw you use the force. The two of you stood, and Hux gave orders for those remaining on the bridge to abandon ship and to return to the undamaged fleet. They all snapped to obey and you felt out desperately for Kylo. He was alive, but unconscious. Rey you felt leaving the ship on an escape craft. 

“We need to get to Kylo.” You said, grabbing Hux’s wrist and pulling him along behind you, he soon followed and you let go of his arm as the two of you ran side by side to the centre of the ship towards Snoke’s calling chamber. 

The door was stuck open as a safety precautions and you peered in, the black shape of Kylo Ren on the floor drew your eye and you sighed with relief. He wasn’t hurt, thankfully. Hux moved ahead of you, his eyes landing on the dead body of Snoke almost bored. You realized that he didn't know that had transpired, and so you let him absorb the information as you looked around the room, now open windows showing a panoramic view of the system you were flying through. It was truly incredible. 

Your eyes landed on the planet Crait, watching as the last of the remaining Resistance ships made their way to the surface. By your feet, Kylo’s saber sat forgotten. You picked it up, turning it in your hands thumb hovering over the button that would ignite it. Hux yelling had you snapping out of your trance, and then the sudden warp of the force had you igniting the saber in your hand on instinct. The motion had Kylo’s eyes flicking to yours as he spoke. 

“The Supreme Leader is dead.” He growled, you and Hux, as if reading each other’s mind spoke together, your hand holding the saber drooping to a relaxed position as you did. 

“Long live the Supreme Leader.” Hux choked out and Ren let him go, the redhead dropping to all fours to regain his breath. Kylo turned his attention to you, holding out his hand.

“My saber.” He ordered, and you quickly moved to obey, placing the now dormant weapon in his hand. He glared at you in warning when you placed it in his fist and his free hand shot out to grip the front of your uniform. You jumped, leaning away from him, but he wouldn’t let you move very far before he growled into your face, low enough that only you could hear. “If you ever ignite my weapon with intention to strike me again, you will not live to apologize.” 

He had every right to be angry. You had done exactly what he said you had, and on a lot of levels it was treason, and you were poking a very angry bear, even unintentionally. You nodded dropping your head. “Yes Master Ren. Forgive me Supreme Leader.” He let you go but motioned you to follow him. 

You looked back at Hux who was just getting to his feet, eyes dangerous as he glared at Kylo. You sighed, knowing that there was probably going to be trouble. Kylo had agreed to give Hux the title of Emperor, but Hux had just directly defied Kylo his rank. It was a sensitive situation, a leadership change always was, and two alpha male personalities staring each other down was never an easy moment in the first place. 

Kylo calling your name had you quickly moving to follow him, anxiety rising at his sudden power and confidence radiating off of him. You sensed that the war raging in him had subsided, and now he was fully aware of who and what he was. You didn’t know what was more dangerous, Kylo Ren volatile and afraid, or Kylo Ren sure of his actions and purpose. 

The death of Smoke also meant that you were essentially the apprentice of the Supreme Leader, which meant Kylo was now your master. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to already, he had been the one to start your training in the first place, but now something had changed. 

This was no longer the Kylo Ren you knew. This was the Supreme Leader.


	15. Chapter 15

Ren lead you down the halls of the ship back toward the east Hangar and you looked at him in curiosity. “Kylo-” He glared at you over his shoulder and you shut up, biting your lip at the mistake. “Master Ren,” He allowed this and continued on his path. “Master Ren, where are we going? Shouldn’t we be reconveening with the rest of the Order? Shouldn’t we be trying to regroup and attack with full power?” You asked, struggling to keep up with his long purposeful strides. 

“We have the resistance on the run, there are less than a hundred of them remaining. We can end this now.” He growled out, turning into the hangar and striding toward the command shuttle and then past it to a small pilots lounge. You followed behind him silently, trying to wrap your head around the plan. 

“Supreme Leader, all due respect.” He turned to you at that, raising an eyebrow. Usually when someone said that, they were about to say something extremely disrespectful, but you braved forward, not wanting your lack of commitment to your sentence betray your unease. “Sir, that is your mother.” You said quietly. He tensed, then took a few steps to stalk toward you, backing you against a wall. 

“Who told you that.” He growled. It wasn’t common knowledge who the parents of Kylo Ren were. Many knew that Darth Vader was his grandfather, but that was about all the First Order personnel was privy to. If you knew more, you didn’t say so. And you had just said so. 

Standing your ground, you glared back at him, anger and rebellion flaring in your eyes. “Your father, Han Solo.” You ground out. He raised a hand to strike you and you flinched, confidence draining as your self preservation instincts kicked in. 

The blow never came, instead you opened your eyes to see him clenching his eyes closed and clenching his jaw in anger. You slowly lowered your hands to a more submissive defense and cleared your throat. “Kylo, it’s okay.” You said softly and he cracked, his hand slamming into the wall beside your head. You yelped, covering your head as sparks flew over you. 

You then felt a pressure on your neck as he lifted you using the force, his eyes looked like they were glowing red like his saber, crackling and sparking like the uncapped energy he held within him. “You are slowly becoming more trouble than you are worth (Y/n).” You pulled at your throat, tears of strain falling from your eyes as you struggled to breathe. 

“You are not the only one who has lost people,” You choked out gasping for breath. “We’ve all lost people we love.” You coughed and whimpered as he tightened his hold. You were poking the bear, but some part of you didn’t want to stop. 

“And how would the general react to losing you, hmm?” Fear ran through you at the threat but you knew that this was most likely a test, for both of you. “Would he finally submit? Would he let himself be ordered around like the dog he is?What would he do without his little plaything?” You bared your teeth at him and kicked out your legs, trying desperately to hit him somewhere it would hurt. 

“At least when he chokes me he uses his hands.” You snapped and both of you went silent, your chest heaving as you struggled for breath, and Kylo’s out of anger. He dropped you then, and you heard his saber ignite, but you just glared up at him, coughing and sputtering as you regained your breath. 

The blade came close to your neck but you stared defiantly at his eyes, two could play this game. “That is twice you have disrespected me. Do not let there be a third.” He brought the blade close enough to singe the strands of hair that fell into your face before disengaging it and walking from the lounge a cape in hand. 

When he left, the door slid shut behind him and you let out a calming breath, coming to terms with what had just happened. Ren was trying to test your obedience, your deference, to his new title. To you, he was still the commander, still your ‘Master’ of sorts. He knew that you were the only other person in the Order who could possibly understand him, and he knew that you were Loyal to Hux. If Ren was trying to take the ground out from Hux, it wouldn’t be with help from you. And if Hux was trying to take the ground out from Ren, it would also not be from you. 

You were the buffer between the two of them, the solid ground for them both. 

You followed Ren out and walked behind him to the lowered ramp of the shuttle, it took everything in your power to not rub at your throat. Hux caught your eye as you boarded and he took in the angry set of your jaw, and the reddened tint of your face. His face set in a similar expression, furrowing his brow as he looked at you and then to Ren who had stalked in a few moments before you. 

He looked at you in question but you just shook your head, stalking to your own seat and strapping in, staring at the ramp as it began to ascend.The pilots began starting up the ship and you figured that they were most likely the ones who flew Snoke’s ship, which was very similar to the one you were currently on. Good, you knew that if you were to fly this thing you would probably figure out a way to eject Kylo into the cosmos. 

You were angry, and rightly so.Ren usurps the throne of the Supreme Leader and suddenly he thinks he’s invincible. _Snoke did too_. You thought bitterly as you watched his cape disappear into the cockpit. 

Hux glanced at you as he passed, then stopped and changed his direction to stand in front of you. You didn’t look at him, instead you kept your eyes glued to the ramp angrily. You wanted to scream, wanted to cry. There were so many emotions running through you and you didn’t know why. You were angry because Kylo had in so many words said you meant nothing to the general more than just a play thing, and sad because you knew that no matter how this day went, you were going to lose people you cared about, and you couldn’t save any of them. 

Hux bent his head and kissed the top of yours, hovering there, he let his hand trail down your face to the part of your hair that had been singed, and then his hand left your face to pull at the collar of your uniform to show the angry red marks of a hand from the force choke. He knelt before you at that, and pulled your face to his so he could look you in the eyes. 

You stared in each other’s eyes at that point and you felt the dam break behind your eyes. You just wanted today to be over. His face set in that same angry yet determined line and he nodded once, understanding your silent plea for privacy. He kissed your forehead before standing and walking up the ladder to the command deck as you felt the ship shudder to life and exit into the open space. 

You closed your eyes, willing away the tears with no luck. The air was suddenly filled with static and you opened your eyes to see the lights had gone out in the lower half of the ship, but a man was sitting across from you, he was young, maybe a little older than you, but something about him was filled with untamed rage. 

“(Y/n).” He said, his voice echoing like he was not of this world, you assumed he was. This must be another force ghost. This was the darkside. You nodded in response to his question and he smiled, the shadow over his features obscuring his eyes. “You know who I am.” He said again and you nodded. 

This was Anakin Skywalker, this was Darth Vader. You don’t know what told you this, but maybe that was the power of the Force. “You are Lord Vader.” you responded, and he shrugged. 

“They called me that later in my life, but they knew me as Anakin before that.” He sat forward and you were struck by his face. He was handsome, but there was some unknown danger in his stance, like any movement he didn’t allow would be your last. It was frightening and you sat stock still as he watched you. 

“Why have you come to me?” You asked hesitantly and he stood. 

“I have something important to tell you. Something that I think you already know.” He shifted on his feet, leaning against a wall, the shadows over him looking more and more like he was manipulating them. You watched him warily. 

“Why would you come tell me something that I already know.” You retorted angrily which just made him laugh, the sound ominous and deadly. 

“I want to confirm it, young warrior.” You bloomed at the word, and he stepped closer to you. “You know that when Armitage Hux becomes Emperor, you will be by his side.” You nodded. “And you know that as a part of your duty, you must have a child with him.” You hesitated but nodded. It was a possibility that you would be required to produce an heir, but that was much later, wasn’t it? 

“What does this have to do with anything. I knew this.” You spat and he closed the distance between you, hands on your arm rests as he glared at you. 

“Then you know that your child will be in grave danger. As long as the galaxy knows who your child is, then she will never be safe.” Your eyes widened at his words. You were going to have a baby girl? Your glared back at him defiantly and he just smirked. “She is important, (Y/n). Not the first of her kind, but the first one to have the courage to accept her fate.” He stood at that, and walked back to the shadows. 

You stood as he moved, reaching out to him. “Who is she?” You asked quietly and he shrugged. “She is the end of the war. But only if she survives.” He said, then faded away and the lights flickered back to life. You looked around in a daze as Hux climbed down the ladder and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Another vision?” He whispered into your ear as you nodded, staring at the spot where Anakin had been standing. You laid your hands over his as he slid them down to your waist. “Good new or bad news.” He joked and you huffed at the irony. 

“Still trying to figure that one out.” You said sadly and he sighed, kissing behind your ear before moving toward the door. 

“Come, we have broken through the doors.” You stared at him in surprise, you hadn’t heard a thing. Shaking your head you assumed that Anakin had blocked out anything that wasn’t him to speak to you. Typical. 

You followed Hux out onto the white-red surface of the planet and watched as Kylo strode inside, the black of his uniform swallowing him in the shadows as the troopers beside him seemed to stick out. Beside you, there were a few men laying still in the trenches. You sighed, walking over to one whose eyes were open in an unending stare. 

You felt Hux watching you as you knelt beside him and used your hand to close his eyes and mouth. It was a small thing, but it made you feel better. There was no peaceful death in war. Standing you walked back to Hux’s side and he nodded at you in respect. It didn’t matter what side you were on in this war, we were all people, Human or not. The two of you walked in the empty base, Hux peeling off to speak with Ren while you made your way further into the mine. You could see footprints making their way further back into the tunnels and you looked over your shoulder as you hurried to follow them. 

When you came to the end of the tunnel your eyes widened to see the old freighter sitting on the hill, and watching as what remained of the resistance hurried to board it. Your eyes connected with the girl, and she stared at you with fear and trepidation. You raised your hands in innocence as you looked over your shoulder to make sure you weren’t followed. 

She nodded to you once in understanding, obviously feeling your force signature from the short distance away you were. She then stared off into the distance and you could feel the tendrils of Kylo’s force as it filled the air. The ship she was on closed it’s ramp and then quickly took off, jumping to lightspeed the second it cleared the last layer of the atmosphere. You sighed, this was getting complicated. You were loyal to Hux, and if he asked you to blow that ship from the sky, you would. But you also knew that you would never sleep again. 

A whimpering cry had you spinning on your heels and pulling your blaster from your side and aiming it in the direction of the sound. It came again, and then a small creature limped into view it’s front right paw held up and away from the ground. It stared at you with wide eyes, shrinking away when it saw the blaster. You quickly put it away, kneeling one knee into the ground as extending your hand out to the injured creature. It took a step forward, hobbling a little, and then taking another. It did this until it came close to you, sniffing your hand. 

You smiled gently as it pushed it’s head into your hand. “Hey there, you hurt?” You asked, tilting your head to look at it’s paw. It was broken that much was certain. A quick glance around showed now sign of it’s family so you tutted, running your hand down it’s white, crystal fur. Surprisingly it was soft, but it sounded like glass as you trailed your hand down to it’s injured foot. 

It sat, whimpering as you touched the broken parts gently. From what you could tell, this was a young creature. You didn’t know what it was exactly but it was fox-like and small. “I can help you.” You said softly. This was one casualty of war that you _could_ fix. The creature yipped and moved closer, pushing it’s non-injured paw to your chest. You took that as an invitation to lift it up and hold it in your arms. 

You made your way back through the tunnels to hear your name being called by Hux. You made your way over to him and he stared at the creature in your arms that had already fallen asleep. Kylo, who was stood a few feet away looked at it strangely as well but you just smiled sheepishly. 

“Darling, tell me, why do you have a Vulptex?” He asked with a sigh. You smiled down at the sleeping animal in your arms and you shrugged. 

“It was hurt.” Hux repeated your words almost like he was exasperated, but the look on his face showed he was more endeared than anything at your sudden attachment to the little thing. 

“If you are going to keep it, you need to take care of it.” He said, and you laughed at the similarity to your father speaking about a bird you found on a walk one day. He smirked and then nodded toward the ship, allowing you to walk in front of him while he spoke with Ren. You weren’t listening, instead you were gently patting the silky fur of the Vulptex in your grasp. It was no bigger than your forearm, and it’s fur tinkled with each shallow breath. 

Once on the ship, you moved to the supply closet of the ship and felt your heart still as it took in the med-kits, now locked behind a gate that would only be opened by an authorized person. Hux must have requested this after the attack. You smiled, then reached for a shock blanket and pulled it out, wrapping the little creature in it to keep it warm during the trip back to the main base of the First Order, it would be a cold journey in space. 

 

Hux decided to sit in the lower portion of the ship with you for the journey and you were glad for it. As the ship flew through space, you laid the young Vulptex on the table and then pat it soothingly as you touched it’s leg again. Hux watched you carefully as you fussed with the creature, wrapping it’s leg in a splint and cooing to it softly as it whined in pain. “I know, I know baby. It’s okay, this will make it better.” You said softly and Hux grunted

“Are you going to name it?” He asked quietly, and you looked up at him as you wrapped the blanket back around the creature and held it to your chest as it shook and then fell asleep again. 

“I don’t know it’s gender.” You said quietly, considering him for a moment. He shrugged as if this didn’t matter. 

“It’s an alien creature, does it really matter if it’s name is gender specific?” He said with boredom. You bit your lip in consideration, looking down at the little thing in your arms. 

“Celestine.” You said after a moment, and he looked at you curiously. 

“Like the crystal?” He asked with curiosity and you nodded. Celestite was known as a balancing crystal, and it was said that the old Jedi used to build rooms from the powder of the gem in order to help them communicate better with the force. It was a lovely gem, and it looked like the little creature’s skin and fur. “I like it, I think it suits them.” He said with a smile and you nodded, moving the creature from your chest and resting it in a box that Hux had found while retrieving the medical supplies. You tucked it in before walking over to Hux and sitting next to him.

Hux wrapped his arm around you and you leaned into his shoulder to seek comfort in his touch. It was amazing that in less than a month, the two of you had grown so close, yet you knew almost nothing about the other. You looked up to Hux who turned down to look at you instead of staring off into space. You knew he was thinking about what had just happened, and you wanted to wrack his brain for answers, but you were too tired to even reach out to him. 

“What are you thinking about.” You said quietly, and he smiled, kissing your forehead. You figured that asking him outright was just as good as taking the answers for yourself. 

“The future.” He said quietly and you furrowed a brow. “Our future, more specifically.” He continued and you nodded, leaning against his chest and letting your eyes close tiredly. “Things are about to change for us.” He said after a moment and you nodded. 

“Things are always ‘about to change’.” You said bitterly. “Thus is the nature of our galaxy.” You said with a yawn. Hux chuckled, tracing his hand down your arm absently. 

“Which is why we will bring balance to it.” He said in response, and Anakin’s words echoed in your head as you listened to his voice rumbled in his chest. 

“People won’t like it. No one ever likes being told what to do, or what to believe.” You said as you curled up against his side, his free hand pulling your legs up to drape over his lap. You sighed at the warmth from his body as he hummed in thought. 

“No, I suppose they don’t. But we won’t make them believe anything. The Resistance sent out a distress call, no one answered.” You felt your heart hurt at the information. There is no hope left in the galaxy that the Resistance can rise. “Most of the galaxy is under our control, or almost under it. All we need to do is have enough people want the empire to rise again.” He spoke as if it was so easy. 

“And what if they don’t?” You said quietly. He turned to look at you with an eyebrow raised. 

“Did something happen in your vision?” He asked his face coated with worry. You shook your head and moved to stand but he simply pulled you back and you were forced to face him as you straddled his waist. 

“No, that’s not what this is about.” _Liar_. “I’m just nervous.” He tutted and pushed your hair from your face, running his hands along your sides. You played with the hair on the top of his head as you spoke, letting the red strands fall through your fingers. You wondered if your daughter would have his hair, or yours. You hoped she had his. 

“What causes you to worry?” He asked quietly, eyes sliding closed as you played with his hair. You smiled happily at the sight of him visibly relaxing under you. 

“My father used to say that every man that has ever been in power has had someone want to kill him.” You said letting your hand card through his hair and attempted to fix the mess you made. He opened his eyes at that, and pulled your hands from his hair to hold them in his. 

“Nothing is going to happen to me. I have you to protect me, and, as much as it pains me to say it, Ren as well.” You bit your lip and traced the lines of his face with your eyes. You didn’t know how much you would be able to help him, you were barely in control of your actions as it was. Sudden bursts of rage from the force had you doing idiotic things, like back-talking your master.

“What if I can’t...” you trailed off, eyes glazing over at the thought. He gripped your wrists at that, bringing you back to the current moment. 

“You can. I can see the power in you, I saw it when you protected me on the bridge, and even before that, I saw it back on your planet when you brought down the Resistance spy. You are stronger than you think.” He said quietly, bringing your hands to his lips to kiss the palms gently. You sighed, resting your head on his shoulder, to which he wrapped his arms around you. 

“So what happens now?” You asked the same question as before and he chuckled, obviously remembering last time. 

“Now, we regroup on another planet, send out spies to bring the conversation around that the Resistance has run off, and we assume our place as the rulers of the Galaxy.” He said easily, and you laughed. 

“That easy huh?” you said with a laugh and he returned it, holding you closer to his chest as he did. 

“That easy.” You sat like that for a while. The rumbling of the engine soothing you. You turned your eyes to the box that held Celestine, the coat tinkling softly in the quiet area of the ship.


End file.
